This is the only time of year I wish I did Spotify
This is the only time of year I wish I did Spotify
how did i make myself feel better today? i bought a fun.ko advent calendar of the office characters on amazon cause it was cheap af
I’ve been having such a bad mental health day. I woke up not wanting to get out of bed and almost had a melt down on my way to work. I haven’t felt like this in over a year and it’s coming back and I hate it. I’ve had my downs but mostly ups for the last year and here I am just wanting to go to bed and cry.
‘ ew what’s wrong with you ? ’ she teased , shutting the door behind him . she tilted her head as she watched him — something was different , a certain pep in his step . ‘ okay so either you’re dying or you finally got laid — or both . ’
he laughed a little, plopping himself down on her couch and putting his feet on the coffee table in front of him. ‘ i mean it’s not hard for me to get laid but no.. and no i’m not dying i can’t be that lucky. ‘ a grin still on his face, ‘ can i just be happy? even if the possibility of this being mania, at least i feel happy. ‘
tony && religion
tony has a strange relationship with religion. tony was raised catholic, his grandparents being very devout in their beliefs and even his sister taking him to mass. he would never say he was devoted to the religion, only that he follows some tenets of Catholicism. his faith, however, was shaken as a teen and he started to fall away from the church and began questioning his beliefs. he still is on a roller coaster of figuring out what he believes and often times if someone asks his religion he will still say catholic. he always is wearing his rosary that was a gift from his grandmother (which was once his mothers rosary), despite no longer attending church or even knowing what he believes
im still laughing over the fact my friend told me she called 9.11 to get the number for animal control
@mafiamade // starter
❛ god is not real, when you die you are dead. ❜
he had wondered what brought up the statement, of course he didn’t know what to say. eyebrows furrowed, leaning back as he tried to calculate how to steer the conversation in some way where he could understand what brought her to that conclusion. ‘ so you must have some sort of belief system then? unless.. that is the simplicity of it. ‘
There’s a knock at the door, and a gift left neatly on the doorstep. A red leather bound book, damaged and aged “Romeo and Juliet 1597”, a bottle of ‘chateau Margaux 1787’ and a small little black box, inside a small glass vile filled with dark crimson, adorned on a thin gold chain necklace with a note hand written in calligraphy “when death’s desire lures you into sweet darkness, let my love bring you light - eternally yours, Aerian Dracul” atop the gift lays a single dark, red and black rose.
he had heard the knock on the door as he got out of the shower, eyebrows furrowed from curiosity wondering who could it be. he quickly got himself dressed, almost tripping as he pulled his pants up walking down the hallway. when he opened the door, to his surprise no one was there. dark eyes looked down to the gift left for him. a small smile appeared on his face as he bent down and picked it up. walking in his apartment and closing the door behind him before sitting on the couch and reading the hand written note.
he set the note to the side, opening the small black box and taking the vile out, letting the chain hang down. he ran his fingers across the vile, setting it back in the box before taking his rosary off and replacing it with the charm that aran had gifted him, his hand grasping the vile once again with a smile on his face. his other hand grabbed the book, raising an eyebrow at the condition of it. he knew it was an original. it had to be. he opened the front page, smiling to himself. a play he once loathed reading that later in life became one he enjoyed. and now.. now he had an original copy.
he hadn’t expected such kindness and love from aran. of course he had never experienced a love like this in hiw entire life. typically he was the one chasing after the other getting nothing in return and feeling.. empty. but with aran it was different. he felt how genuine aran was. giving such personal gifts such as these that held deep meaning and things that tony would love.
he got up, taking the red and black rose to the kitchen and putting it in water, the smile not faltering from his face as he did so. dark eyes looked down at the doberman that followed him into the kitchen, ’ do you know how i got this lucky pal? because i have absolutely no idea. ’
i am here. replies will take awhile. it sorta hurts for me to type since i did a stupid thing and cut one of my finger nails in half. anyways i promise im here to attempt to do things
alright im gunna go to bed. im tired from the trip and honestly didn’t sleep the past two nights so.. now im gunna attempt to sleep tonight. i promise i will write tomorrow
im sorta kinda here. i wanna write but im not sure how much ill get done
This weeks activity: so I am heading to Utah for a couple days but will be back Saturday. I won’t have my laptop when me so I won’t be getting online. But I will be back Saturday afternoon.
psa. let people unfollow you. let people soft block you. don’t harass them. don’t vague. don’t demand to know why they did it. don’t sit and watch their blog. too many times i’ve heard from mutuals who are too worried about the reactions of others that they haven’t followed bc it’s easier to just let it be than rock the boat. that isn’t okay. people shouldn’t be fearful of your reactions. let people unfollow and block you without worry of being vagued or harassed.
“I’m okay,” she says, a lie through her teeth. “I just –– the bloody laptop’s smashed now and all my students work is ruined and now I’m going to have to tell them that.” If only it hadn’t rained that day, some of this might actually be salvageable. “And now I’m crying at a stranger. Great, go me.”
he nodded a little as she spoke, trying his best to listen to what she was saying. ‘ do you have all of your files backed up? ‘ it seemed to be an easy fix if she did so. all she would have to do then was access them from a different computer. ‘ even if you don’t im sure your students will be more than understanding. ‘
@mafiamade liked for a one liner starter.
“Is everything alright? You didn’t answer my text.”
when eddy came in and spoke it brought his attention away from the book he had his nose stuck in to the beautiful british boy standing near him. he furrowed his brows at his words, looking around him for his phone before shrugging. ‘ sorry bello i must have forgotten my phone in my room. ‘ patting his pockets to check them, ‘ did you need something? ‘
he nodded. a couple of days wasn’t too long, but he was sure that it must feel like forever to tony. if he was anything like himself then being bed-bound was one of the worst things that could happen. eddy tried very hard to stay in the moment with tony, so he smiled when he began talking about showering. “pretty much swiped your bathroom for products.” or rather, the products he knew tony used on the daily. he shrugged the backpack off and hung it over the chair beside tony’s bed. “i’ll bring you a change of clothes when i can take you home.”
his mind did wander again and he didn’t try to stop it this time. he furrowed his brows and the corner of his lips kind of twitched. “do you remember anything?”
he smiled a little at eddy, taking the backpack as he placed it onto the table to look through it. after all he had to double check that it was products he approved of eddy grabbing. mostly to make sure it wasn’t something he would lose and would ultimately have to replace. he took a few items out, setting them on the small table before setting the back pack down, ‘ have i ever told you how much i appreciate you? ‘
he shrugged at his question, furrowing his brows to try and piece together that night. he had blocked it out, not wanted to relive it, however it still pushed its way into his dreams. ‘ more than i would like to.. just.. don’t know who it was. ‘
Tony had kissed him. A full blown kiss on the mouth, which seemed a bit too much for celebrating a sale, but then again… Those guns were inflated to the size of a blimp and everyone knew it, so the thought of someone paying actual, good money for them… it made the Russian splutter in disbelief.
Any other time and Sokol would’ve clubbed Tony over the head with his pistol. But Tony’s good mood was rubbing off on him, and there was a genuine smile on Tony’s face, like he was really pleased to see him, which made the Russian soften… a little. “What the fuck,” A hand came up halfway to wipe his mouth— but Sokol decided to give the Italian a little shake instead. “How? I— I can’t believe it. Were you the one doing the selling?”
he had half expected the Russian to punch him in the face when he had kissed him, but not ending up with a sore face was a surprise. He gave him a small smile, laughing a little when he shook him. really this wasn’t what he was expecting at all. a strange reaction from the man with a short fuse. ‘ I was simply in charge. ‘
He moved away from Sokol, straightening his clothes before looking at him with a smile, ‘ never tell me I can’t do something again. or do. I love to prove people wrong. ‘
“Just like the bible itself, a lot of things get rewritten out of power and safety of others. Mortal beings would not feel too comfortable if their scary stories of immortals didn’t include some sort of weakness for them.” slender digits come up to brush his loose tresses away from his face as he continues to speak, “as long as our bodies are healthy and running on blood, they work very similar to yours.” it was highly complex to explain the differences of his world and Tony’s, but of course he would do his best to explain.
“I can eat, of course, but tastes are completely different because of my dietary needs, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy anything you make me.” He would try, at least. It was rare he would consume mortal food, usually only to blend in around other’s if need be.
he felt as though he was slowly starting to understand the complexities of arans existence. he could attempt to picture it in his head on how everything worked. blood of course was the life source of all humanity so drinking it to survive made more sense in his mind than it should have. he smiled at him as he continued to speak, his mind racing about all of the knowledge that this man held. the things he had seen that no one else alive could ever imagine to see. a walking history book.
he laughed a little at his words, shrugging, ‘ I wouldn’t want to cook if you didn’t enjoy it.. especially if it tastes different than it should. ‘ squeezing arans hand, ‘ I just want to learn everything about you.. you’re so complex I love it.. ‘
i was going to try and write tonight but ive had a couple off days. tomorrow when i’m home i will for sure
I’ll be on as soon as I clean up dinner. I’ve had a bad day and need to decompress
two bottles of wine in & she was feeling emotional . she had a moment of realization — what if one of them died tomorrow & she hadn’t been actually NICE to him . oh she would feel horrible . ‘ you know that saying — you’re already home where you feel loved ? ’ she let out a sigh , eyes scrunching closed , fingers pinching at the bridge of her nose . ‘ well — ugh — i’m gonna barf — ’ she fanned herself just to add to the dramatics ‘ — thanks for giving me a — ’ she gags ‘ — a home , or whatever . also shut up . ’
sentiment wasn’t something he easily shared. no sober at least. but he had been hitting the wine just as hard, sitting upside down on the couch with his legs against the back and head on the floor. he knew he should probably quit drinking at this point. he looked to mayven when she started talking trying to get himself up, but laughing as she gagged, falling off of the couch, ‘ oh my god. ‘ looking at her from where he was laying on the cold wood floor, ‘ you gave me a home too you weird girl. ‘ patting her leg, ‘ now help me up..’