Thing #1 that frustrates me about ADHD/Executive Dysfunction advice:
“Oh, you have a mental/neurological issue that makes it difficult for you to be organized, follow routines, stick with systems, maintain a schedule, do your work, etc.? Well, what you need to do is GET ORGANIZED! Schedule everything! Find a system and stick with it! Maintain a schedule! Do your work as it comes in!”
It’s like that Allie Brosh comic where her fish are dead, and everyone’s offering to help find them, or advice like “feed them!” Or “make puppets out of them!” And she says, “No, see, that solution is for a different problem than the one I have.”
Yes, I would love to do those things! I have tried to do those things! I am still trying to do those things! But it’s like that post about how you’re going through an invisible obstacle course, and what looks like a block to everyone else seems like a wall to you. Instead of saying, “it’s a block! Go around!” It would be much more useful to hand me a bag of flour so I can see the obstacles for myself and how to get around them.
I keep looking for something I can do. I can’t maintain an agenda- closest I can do is lot appointments into Google Calendar. I can’t use to-do lists- they overwhelm and freak me out and I end up doing less than before. Breaking down a task into a bunch of tiny pieces should work in theory, but again, freaks me out, and I usually end up spending an hour planning and then I never actually do. I can’t set deadlines for myself. Whatever part of the brain allows other people to say, “yes, it’s due on the 29th, but I want to be done on the 25th” just doesn’t work. I can’t make my brain think something needs to be done until the last minute. This is especially bad in classes where everything is due at the end of the semester. I end up doing what I just did, and having to do two whole classes worth of work in two days. Oddly, once that level of desperation kicks in, I’m capable of sitting down and pounding through the material- but for some reason, I can’t tap into that level of focus without a short, urgent, important deadline. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out.
Thing #2 that bugs me about all self help: Don’t wait for motivation! Just do it!
I think my definition of “motivation” is different from the usual. Most people see “motivation” as meaning something like “wanting to do something, looking forward to doing something, doing the thing with energy and happiness because it is the thing you want to do.”
My definition is closer to “having enough willpower to make myself do the thing despite everything in my brain begging me to go watch Netflix instead.” So when people say, “you don’t need motivation!” What I hear is “everyone else seems to have this source of willpower they can eventually learn to tap into that just doesn’t exist for me.” My best technique for doing stuff is having other people make me do it. Which freaks out my social anxiety because then I feel like I’m intruding on their time to make them help me with mine.
The thing is, I’m not lazy. If I were just lazy this would all be easier to cope with. I WANT to be doing things, I WANT to be successful, I WANT to be productive. I even try, really hard, and the effort that exhausts me seems to be so much lower than the typical threshold. But every time I try to be as productive as I want to be, I burn out in a couple days.
Tbh i’m so glad to read this because i have both attention problems and severe executive dysfunction and i keep seeing helpful blogs/tips for people with executive dysfunction, or add. And they never ever help me and its like. What is my problem if they help others like me why cant these posts help me and it was very frustrating so im glad to know its not just me
I suppose everything has it time. But regrettably, if my computer dies so does my way of making art and an income. While it still has life I am going to do my best to take commissions in order to raise money for a new one.
I would appreciate all the help I can get! My commissions are now open and the prices can be found here. If you don’t feel like commissioning me there are other ways that might help me!
Not only would this help with my computer but by helping me with my comic and being able to continue doing art. Rewards and such are listed there! Just click hereto check it out!
Even $1 would help, I’m not joking. A reblog would also help! The sooner I can replace this sad, dying laptop the sooner I can breath easier about making art and an income.
Thank you all so much, it really means a lot!
Reblogging because the state of my computer is critical now. I just crashed on me and i am struggling to get it to turn back on. I will reopen commissions to work for your help in replacing it or any donations.
I am about halfway to wear I need to be to afford a new one. Thank you so much, even if its just a reblog!
His name is Ken. He has grown up dreaming about someday having a shelter to help the stray animals that live near his home, but he never dreamed he could reach his goal so soon.
Here is his site where he posts before and after updates on the rescued animals and you can also adopt: https://www.happyanimalsclub.org/
Here is Betty with her mother Emily. Emily was terrified of humans and refused to stay in the dog house that they built for her.
This is Betty today. She finally looks like a normal, healthy dog.
Meanwhile, Emily has become a little less paranoid over time. With a little bit of patience, they are now able to touch her, and even pick her up, without getting bitten.
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