Concrete, 100% effective way to tell if someone doesn’t belong in a LGBT+/queer space:
They openly and actively hate/ want to hurt the people in that space
Controversial opinion here, I know, but just because you’re in a safe LGBT+/Queer space doesn’t mean you have to disclose their identity to everyone there. And people are allowed to bring their partners, regardless of their orientation, to those same spaces.
Obviously there are certain spaces that are for specific people, but at the same time, y’all are so obsessed with micromanaging queer spaces. The only thing that should be a litmus for entry into those spaces is: “does this person want to hurt someone else in this space and I know that? Yes? Then they aren’t fucken welcome. Regardless of identity.”
I volunteered in ine of the biggest queer youth clubs as an educator / guide (there isnt a word in english for these stuff).
We had so many queer kids that brought cishet friends and some of them didnt come out later, some of them really were cishet and that is fine.
They did no harm to the queer atmosphere and when someone new joined for the first time we gave them a little tour of the club and invited them to a one on one talk with one of the volunteers.
Ive had many of these conversations with teens at the ages of 12-19 and everyone calmed down when we told them there is no criteria to being there that this is a safe space and after a short explanation and some questions where many of them just blurted out their stories.
The non queer identifying people came for years either because they just met some friends from different places along the country and it was their usual hangout or because they really needed a safe space with no judgment in their lives.
Cishet people also need safe spaces where there are no gendered expectations of them and they can play with makeup and dresses and just be calm and learn about safe sexuality and consent.
Why in the world would you kick people who need safe spaces and benefit from them out???
Queer people seeing cishet people in queer spaces not acting weird and for once seeing the atmosphere is queer and the cis person has to adapt does marvels to one’s sense of how real it feels, how you could bring this safe space outside and this culture to other friends.
Introduce some of the stuff you learned to your friends and family maybe to some willing coworker idk.
The point is that our way to smash the patriarchy, gender roles, rape culture and more shit is too bring it outside and allow allies to be there cus why the fuck not
Thanks for sharing! This really highlights a collection of reasons why it’s important to not create these arbitrary rules to who can and can’t come in.