Stargate Atlantis | 1x03 Hide and Seek
stargate episodes that should have been, part 35: ford episode! an explosion near one of the storage rooms injures several personnel. investigation into the explosion reveals its source to be a homemade incendiary device of some kind. people start pointing fingers and some of those fingers land on ford, who has a healthy interest in explosives. bates is being bates and insists that ford be locked up in the cells until this is cleared up. that’s ridiculous, of course, but ford ends up in the cells anyways. soon after, there’s another explosion. ford obviously didn’t do it, because he was in the cells. bates argues that timers are a thing, but weir lets ford out anyways, because he should be helping them find the real culprit instead of just sitting around doing nothing, considering his knowledge of the subject at hand is Useful Information. so they actually let ford look at the explosion sites and see the data and he’s like “yeah someone’s trying to make fireworks. it’s the fourth of july soon.” and then he looks at mckay and asks “you built a nuke when you were a kid but couldn’t figure this one out?” (rodney insists that nuclear devices are very different than homemade fireworks, thankyouverymuch.) in the end they find out that a couple of the american security personnel had decided to plan a fourth of july party, and wanted fireworks, but instead of asking a bomb expert or even some of the scientists to help out, they tried to do it on their own. with c-4. they are reprimanded and ford makes his own (marginally safer) fireworks for the party.
hell. yeah. ford getting the chance to flex his expertise for the good of the expedition. and he makes FIREWORKS. they would look Spectacular against the city skyline. what a sight! (i like to imagine, in the future, materials permitting, he makes fireworks for the villages/towns he encounters in pegasus for their special occasions :’) ) also, i love episodes that strictly take place on atlantis, ‘cause well, who doesn’t want to see more of that gorgeous city.
Stargate SG-1 | 3x08 Demons
Farscape | 2x07 Home on the Remains
Stargate Atlantis | 1x08 Underground
stargate episodes that should have been, part 34: teal’c episode! he wakes up in his home on chulak with drey’auc and rya’c. he’s the first prime of apophis, and apophis is still alive. teal’c immediately decries apophis as a false god. fade to black. teal’c wakes up in his home on chulak with drey’auc and rya’c. he’s the first prime of apophis, and apophis is still alive. teal’c goes about his day as he used to, and enters a cell holding a bunch of prisoners. “help me! i can save these people!” says one of the prisoners. teal’c helps the prisoners escape. fade to black. teal’c wakes up in his home on chulak with drey’auc and rya’c. he’s the first prime of apophis, and apophis is still alive. teal’c plays along as apophis’s first prime until he is alone with apophis, then he shoots apophis in the back. fade to black. teal’c wakes up in his home on chulak with drey’auc and rya’c. he’s the first prime of apophis, and apophis is still alive. teal’c sits on the floor and cries. fade to black. teal’c wakes up in his home on chulak with drey’auc and rya’c. he’s the first prime of apophis, and apophis is still alive. beaten down, he goes about his life as it was before sg-1 while wondering why this is happening to him. over the next few years, teal’c’s foreknowledge of the future is helpful to apophis in taking down heru-ur and osiris before they become trouble. he sets his sights next on ba’al, going so far as to make an alliance with yu (who is still alive because he’s a bro) to lure ba’al to a secondary location. teal’c boards ba’al’s ha’tak to assassinate ba’al while apophis meets with ba’al over zoom from his own ha’tak. before leaving apophis’s ha’tak, he disables its shields. upon boarding ba’al’s ha’tak, he makes a beeline for the control room, not the bridge. he activates the self destruct. ba’al’s ha’tak goes up, taking apophis’s ha’tak as well as teal’c with it. fade to black. teal’c wakes up. he is in a goa’uld cell, unrestrained, with one of those tok’ra recall device thingies in his head. he yanks it out and makes his escape from the cell, taking out the sole guard on the door and stealing his weapons. he is aboard a ha’tak and makes his way to the hangar bay to steal a cargo ship. as he enters the hangar bay, a cargo ship is coming in! what a coincidence! the cargo ship lands and out walks ba’al with four jaffa guards. he is here to see The Prisoner. teal’c is weakened from his ordeal and knows that he needs to return to earth to continue his fight, so he makes the tactical decision to hide behind a death glider and waits for them to pass, then steals ba’al’s cargo ship/personal transport and flies it home. the triumphant return! walter is the only person left waiting for him on base because everyone else was out looking for him, even general o’neill.
i got emotional reading this one. i’m not gonna lie.
Stargate SG-1 | 1x05 The Broca Divide
Stargate Atlantis | 1x16 The Brotherhood
stargate episodes that should have been, part 33: mckay episode! the team discovers an offworld abandoned complex that rodney says must be powered by a zpm. they enter the complex to take the zpm, because it’s a zpm, and are Trapped. a whole lot of weird things are happening like doors closing in their way and various traps almost killing them, so they conclude the place must be haunted. however, they can’t get out until they cut the power because all these issues are happening because there’s power to let them happen. he locates a control room to try and shut the power off from there but the door shuts behind him, separating him from the team. a hologram of a man pops up! it’s janus. he immortalized himself as an ai instead of just ascending like a basic bitch because he doesn’t like rules. not that he’s actually doing anything with his freedom, because he’s stuck in this specific facility, reliant on the crystal patterns within its specific zpm to sustain him. rodney has a choice: kill janus in order to leave the facility and get a free zpm, or spare janus and be trapped in the facility and atlantis gets no zpm. through the powers of Common Sense and Character Development, rodney comes up with a third option: lie and say the zpm doesn’t have the power to even dial earth once, and janus lets them go. janus agrees to this, disappears, and the door opens. mckay tells the team that the zpm is almost depleted and he managed to shut off the traps from inside the room. so they leave. then when they get back to atlantis we get a nice lil scene of sheppard and rodney sitting on the pier and rodney tells sheppard what really happened. the end :)
janus’ booby-trapped complex reminds me so much of cube and i love it. especially during spooky season. i would love to see the team running a gauntlet of bizarre challenges that require them to rely on each other’s skills to survive/make it out.
ancients suck, but i could see rodney having sympathy for janus, with all his intellect, being stuck in a facility where he can do nothing with his knowledge but kill people trying to take the zedpm (to prevent them from killing him in the process). it would be an extremely solitary and purposeless existence, two of rodney’s biggest fears/insecurities, i think.
also, beer on the pier :’)))) i love that rodney goes to john to talk about stuff (like about jeannie in mckay & mrs. miller and miller’s crossing, or his illness during the shrine) even tho john definitely wouldn’t be the first person most people would think of to talk to about things BAHAHA. anyway, they lament the loss of the zedpm by listing all the cool stuff they would’ve done with it.
Stargate SG-1 | 10x04 Insiders
Stargate Atlantis | 3x17 Sunday
stargate episodes that should have been, part 32: sam episode! sg-1 goes to a planet. this is a weird planet by earth standards, because they make their people be just one thing for their job. so when they meet sg-1 they categorize them all as military, and get a little confused by daniel which is quickly cleared up when they place him into the Not Military category (more specifically historian, but this isn’t a daniel episode so that’s not important). this isn’t a problem until it becomes apparent that there’s a scientific issue on the planet, and they’re not as technologically and scientifically advanced as earth is, so they can’t see the solution that is pretty obvious to sam. and when sam says “hey, if you just do this, that problem would be fixed really easily” the scientists all laugh at her because they categorized her as Soldier so obviously she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. and then she saves the day because she’s right obviously. so the people go “hmmm” and sam changes their entire dumb system by being awesome.
i like this a lot. sam saves the day with the power of her brains and proves people wrong just by getting stuff done! she doesn’t allow people to put her in a box. just because she can kick your butt, doesn’t mean she’s not smart. and by being herself, she shows the people of the planet that they can be and do whatever they choose, too. they can be a mathematician and a poet, ‘cause why not??
(i get a little ranty under the cut)
this episode does right what i think an episode like emancipation does wrong as a carter-centric episode (i understand emancipation is a widely unliked episode. its definitely not my favourite, either). we don’t need to be reminded, through dialogue or story, that carter is a woman or that she is working in male dominated fields (i.e military, physics) and is constantly being subjected to sexism (especially when how that is dealt with in the episode is extremely tonedeaf, like it was in emancipation, … i mean, the way the rest of sam’s team acted in that episode alone, people who supposedly work with/respect her…anyway i digress). instead, i find an episode like the one you described way more interesting, where sam’s abilities are questioned, not on the basis of her gender, but on her chosen occupation. where, in terms of storytelling, she is regarded as a person first and foremost, instead of the token woman.
Stargate SG-1 | 8x08 Covenant
Stargate Atlantis | 2x17 Coup d'État
stargate episodes that should have been, part 31: sheppard episode! the puddlejumper is shot down during a culling, and though it’s not badly damaged externally, power isn’t getting through to any of the systems. mckay says he can’t fix it without tools from atlantis, but they can’t just go back to the gate and get some tools because it’s a spacegate. they also just arrived on-planet, so it’ll be awhile before anyone comes looking for them. however, in the culling, they shot down a wraith dart that appears to be intact, just missing a bit off the tip of one wing. when they check it out (and kill the wraith pilot) they find that the beam storage device is damaged, so there goes plan a. plan b, courtesy of sheppard, is much worse: tie the dart to the roof of the jumper and tow it out of here. it’ll be a very tight squeeze (and here sheppard hesitates) but ultimately the added height of the jumper and the dart should be just under the diameter of a gate. so, using some handy-dandy rope that happens to be in the jumper, they secure the dart to the roof of the jumper the best they can. sheppard takes off and heads for the gate. on the way out of the atmosphere, one of the ropes snaps and the other begins to loosen. “this was a terrible idea,” says rodney. but it’s fine, sheppard has a plan… c? b.5? he dials one of the backup planets for the alpha site then directs the dart above the gate. the jumper below slides out of its last rope, through the gate, and sheppard swings back around and follows it through. then they call atlantis and have zelenka come help them fix the jumper.
three of my favourite things are happening in this episode 1) sheppard getting to show off his piloting prowess (i wanna believe he kinda mid-tiered his way through everything at the academy, so he wouldn’t draw any attention towards himself, except flying. that he let himself excel at). ‘cause flying darts is hard. he’s flying blind 'cause he can’t read the instruments and there’s no viewscreen, so he’s gotta pilot by feel. 2) sheppard gets to do some math to save the day (that he can explain away by saying he just eyeballed it, which has the added bonus of making rodney red in the face) and 3) rodney gets to disparage john for his terrible plans that are uniquely unsafe, but which turn out to not always be quite so terrible in the end? not that he’ll ever admit that.
oh, and also, zelenka being the king of jumper repair :)
Stargate SG-1 | 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate Atlantis | 5x19 Vegas
stargate episodes that should have been, part 30, finally: jack episode! sg-1 goes offworld to a really confusing planet. the people there just… don’t make sense. their outfits are weird and so is their way of talking. teal’c’s eyebrow is stuck in its raised position the entire time he’s on the planet, and sam and daniel have incredulous looks on their faces. but jack… he’s in his element. “have you bathed the wallet today, friend?” asks a local. “oh yeah,” responds jack. “squeaky clean-lemony fresh.” he turns back to the rest of the team. “i like it here. do you think they’d let me stay?”
during the post-mission debrief, teal'c’s eyebrow maintains its upward arch and doesn’t return to its original position until he does his kelno'reem.
Stargate SG-1 | 4x11 Point of No Return