helenasurvives :

i am asked about my favorite color.

i am seven

and my reply is

pink

because i am a girl

and pink

is a princess color.

i am asked about my favorite color.

i am ten

and i like

green

because a boy told me that pink

is lame and girly.

i am asked about my favorite color.

i am thirteen

and i tell them

purple

it is unique and spunky

like i want to be.

i am asked about my favorite color.

i am seventeen

and i just say

red

i do not say

it is bright and angry at the world

as i am

i cannot form the words to express

all of my frustrations

so i paint my lips with

rage.

i am asked about my favorite color.

i am twenty

and it’s pink

i remember the joy

of being a child

i reclaim the freedom

of femininity

because i cannot remember

what my shoulders felt like

before the depression

hung from them.

i am asked about my favorite color.

i am twenty-six

and my answer is

brown

it confuses most people

they don’t see it

they may think of dirt

and dust

and dead things

but it is coffee with friends

and the chocolate chip cookies

my mom used to make.

it is my hair

and my eyes

amber and gold

in the sun

and i love myself

again

I love you too much. And if that can’t suffice, I love you in the greatest of all possibilities - even if sometimes I don’t show it at all.

I love you, my man. And thank God He gave me you.

I’m going to love you better at your darkest, the Earth said to the moon. For after all this time, I’ve seen you as whole anyway.
Juansen Dizon (via juansendizon )

kipplekipple :

metapianycist :

quasarkisses :

mauriacs :

mr darcy lived in derbyshire so he sounds like. lizzeh. ah lov yew moost ahhdentleh

wait the places in pride and prejudice are real?

england is indeed real

Crying

Gratitude

Words are probably never enough to say how much I love you. But spare me a moment to try and make you feel how much I do. 

I love you like how the waves continue to go and kiss the shore every single time: even when sometimes we’re apart, every part of who I am, down to my very core, longs to be with you. United. One. Whole.

I love you like how every living being thirsts for air. It’s that simple: I love you because you are a part of my life. One of the most significant puzzle pieces that make up the woman that I am now. And I pray to Him that even if we fight countless battles on end, His strength will capacitate us to move forward, our hearts filled with hope and trust in the God we serve.

I love you. Sure. Certainly. But the love I have is not like how God loved and loves us. My love would never be perfect: perfectly patient, perfectly enduring, and perfectly kind. It would never be sacrificial as well, for sometimes I could be truly stubborn. 

But I am trying to love God more so I can love you far greater than I do now. 

For His’ is the greatest of all love.
And, love, it is what you deserve. 

So until the end of my breath, I would dedicate my being to God, so I could do too, to you. You, the one God gave me.

I love you.

i lay at night sometimes

wandering

how God moved for us to be together.

and when i remember how He answered my prayer,

i persist to fight for us.

i find myself praying for you, because worrying do not make it easier, both for yoy and for me. there are hard days, when i just want to scream at everything. “it’s easier that way.” you told me before. but right now, you teach me the three things i always forget at hard times: patience, perseverance, and prayer.

it’s easy to demand. i demand so much of your time. so much of your love. i forget that love should mirror Christ’s; generous to the point of sacrificing one’s life for others. when i become so overwhelmed by my emotions, i run to you for warmth and shelter, but it’s not you who could be my refuge but God.

it always go downstream when i do that. which results to countless arguments that are made over and over again. but i thank you still, for staying, for saying you love me anyway - even if i’m mean and rude most of the time.

your passion and perseverance are something that i don’t truly relate to, for those are fleeting to me. but i see you, working hard every day for the people you love. i see you sacrificing everything: your sleep, comfort, happiness - all for your family. and maybe i love you more for that.

that leads me to praying for you. we’re apart and i don’t know when i’ll see you again, but our God has remained faithful. both to you and your family and mine’s. He listens, love. and when there are times i miss you and you’re not there, i talk to you in the spirit and intercede.

my love isn’t perfect and never will it be. but i’m grateful for the love that we have. always and endlessly.

To my love,

I miss you so much. I know it’s hard right now. But I know we can do it. We are strong, I know we are. Yet we’re far from each other. A lot has been happening in our separate lives. And we’re fighting battles that neither of us knows how to win. But what’s keeping me sane and at peace is knowing that you’re holding on too. Holding on to faith. Holding on to whatever little we have to win the tiniest battles that arise every day. And my love, that is so much more than I could ever wish and pray for to continue fighting for myself as well.

I know you’d come back bruised and wounded from the war soon, and that’s why I await outside every single time and stare at the pathway in front of our house. That’s why I stare at the blank, seamless sky at times and pray to God that you’re safe, alive and well. That’s why I think about you at all times, whispering in silence, asking Him to be able to talk to your spirit… At least, that’s the only way I know how I can talk to you. My love, I can’t wait until I can hold you here in my arms again. Until I can nurse you with my love, and until you can finally say you’re home. 

Remember how much I love you when it’s all hopeless and done.

I love you and that is the truth that will never cease to be true.

- to my little but brave warrior, from your wife.

maybe-you-need-this :

“And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.”

— Stephen Chbosky / The Perks of Being a Wallflower (via bnmxfld )

eyesfixedonchrist :

Prayer is so undervalued. Prayer changes situations. Prayer changes people. Prayer can move mountains.

it has been such a long time that i felt like dancing in the cold rain when in fact i never liked the cold sweeping in my naked skin. life as i knew it has been routinual and mundane and days passed by like wheels going on and on in the same route every single day, hopeful for a new adventure that will make the engines roar in anticipation.

it has been such a long time since i felt like a free bird crying its heart out into the wide horizon when in fact singing has been a piece of my heart that i truly can’t get along a day without playing tunes that just sprung out of nowhere. in between daily tasks, i sing. in between the hard times, i sing. but during these past few days, weeks, months - it felt as if singing was vanishing slowly by slowly and i had to cough up a tone to sing. it did not come to me as i knew it before.

and to say it out loud at last, i was chained by the situation i was in, caught up by the tide of emotions i could not overcome, drained by the expectations that got its hold on me and tired because i wanted to be somewhere else.

when i could have just turned it all upside down, rest my weary heart, turn to the Father and try again.

- in these days that i fail so hard, grace pushes me back up and lets me see how i am made with a purpose

Question: What gives you hope?
Answer:

knowing that Jesus waits for me on the other side of this life

i know instantly how much i love you because even when you’re not here with me, you have a way of making my heart beat with every reminiscing moment about you.

i know instantly how much you love me because even when we’re apart, i don’t and i will never feel insecure about anyone at all. you make me become a better person, and i would forever be thankful to you. i love you, my best friend. my person. my soul-keeper. my lover. my refuge. my strength. i know you know. i love you. i love you. i hope i can say that countless times and make you feel it with varying degrees. but it would still be the same. it would still mean the same. and it means that you are my home. and wherever i’d go, i’ll always come back home to you.

05-29-20 | distance makes my heart wrench a little more tears, but you soothe them, you just know how to, even when we’re far apart.

thebookquotes:

I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like. When I am sad, I don’t cry, I pour. When I am happy, I don’t smile, I glow. When I am angry, I don’t yell, I burn. The good thing about feeling in extremes, is when I love, I give them wings. But perhaps that isn’t such a good thing, cause they always tend to leave and you should see me, when my heart is broken. I don’t grieve, I shatter.

— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

the tiles in the piano

lay outstretched

as the pianist awaits

the return of her love

arrested and tangled in the world

and in chaos and mayhem

she tried to search through

a haven where they would

meet

a paradise it was for them

where solace and serenity quivered

in every corner cooed

the peace that had to be theirs

soon enough she learned

that heaven is also a place

given by God on earth

where love abounds

but alas

she awoke in her enchanted dream

yet caught her self smiling in gleam

for the dream that was keeping her asleep

was beside her, holding her tight

awaiting to start the new day and new life

they both got together

now she would not be jealous

for love like her lover’s precious

love sealed by God

love sealed with honesty, purity and respect.

05-20-2020 | i always imagine the day i’d meet you again. and i’d look at you with all the love that you’ve given me, not wanting to lose you in my arms again.

biblelockscreens :

Credit @hertrueworth

God has been with me all throughout my life and my battles even if I wasn’t aware of it. And I am so thankful for Him because He has artistically wrote my story and every chapter reflects how beautiful, gracious and faithful He is.

so if you ask me, darling, if i miss you, please know that i would actually run the whole world barefooted, unwary and untroubled of all the rocks that may make me stumble, if that means i’d meet you in the middle, running to me as well.

- he asked me if i missed him and i say:

april 19, 2020 | 0003

mga-antigong-salita :

in my biology class,
the vandals in the adjacent seats,
formulas, facts, something others thought they
needed during tests
birds flying across the room, or even the flightless ones
the way a classmate writes
or sleeps
these all are more interesting
than actually listening

but, my ears twitched
when my professor says,
an organism, a human being
is half of its father and mother
and i’ve spent days circumnavigating
around that idea
but i hadn’t arrived much, i guess
and i’m too scared to raise my hands
for the things i really wanted to say

my ma,
she was utterly different.
she’s secretive, out of this world at all times,
and unpredictable.
but she can predict my next actions,
and she’d counter all my thoughts.
i guess i didn’t get that from her.

but she has extraordinary eyes,
and fat cheeks and thighs and fat dreams
and she, she prefers being alone.
she never gets out of the house when she doesn’t need to,
and she always figure out where she belongs.

she figured out she doesn’t belong to pa.
she figured i didn’t too.
was she wrong?

my pa,
ㅡ i haven’t called him that, ever since
haven’t had the chance to,
was the most handsome man i’ve seen
i believed his hands felt the softest when i clung on him
while crossing the streets.
and i trust my memory, he has
the goofiest of smiles, that i may have seen once
but i know
he must have that still.

i know him to be intelligent,
since my cousins used to say,
and that he can win chess, with him not looking at the play.
i know him to be persevering,
maybe i got that from him, which i can say is too tiring,
to be constantly on hold of things, on top of everything,
but
i didn’t know him to like persevering
the things that really didn’t matter.

he figured out that he didn’t want to pursue ma.
and he figured he didn’t want to pursue me, too.
maybe he’s right.
or was he wrong?

i am a mix of two faulty things,
biology says,
but i don’t want to be a mix of broken pieces
of untamed laments not spoken out loud
of oddities normal people don’t want.
is it on me to decide?

i am not the epitome of a mess.
even if i am half my ma, and half my pa.
i wish to think that concluding is easy,
but i’ve got lots of reasons why
i have to raise my hand and say
the things that needed saying

because maybe my professor
has some answers.
maybe i’m a mess, after all.
or am i wrong?

of two broken pieces | it’s ela not ella

moonmoonandthemorrigan :

guitplyr :

that-girl-in-glasses1995 :

she-pilgrimist :

honeybeeyond :

endlesswordsonapage :

writerscreed :

jarofsin :

#Night 134

Sometimes the thought of you plants itself in my head, but I’d never be able to keep it watered.

Sometimes the memory of you kisses my hands, and I can’t write you fast enough before I wake up.

Sometimes, the idea of you pulls at the strings of my heart but more often than not, I catch myself raising a sharpened blade to just beneath my ribs.

- I’m not ready for you.

Sometimes the want is for not. Not to have you here, not to have your arms around me, not to be seen under your watchful gaze. Sometimes I am glad to not be in a dream, but to be wide awake.

22:04 Sometimes the thought of you makes me question my intentions with you, were you a beautiful mistake or another human I might have to turn into a casting shadow. Watch you fade in reality

Sometimes the dream of you feels like beautiful shining stars in the night sky. Then I’ll wake up to reality and everyday I’ll wonder if I’ll ever reach for someone so perfect just for me someday.

Sometimes the reality of you is a breath of fresh air blowing through the hills on a late Spring day. Yearning to be closer as we take another step. As the grass grows softer and the wind pulls us forward, I’ll wonder if we’ll ever reach our moment to touch or awake this lonely distance away.

Sometimes I walk into the eternity of a dream and you are there waiting for me. And my chest is seized with love, or is it terror, that makes my heart clench as you bury your nose into  my neck. And I wonder if the past can act as a better grave for the things that my subconscious wishes to resurrect. 

Sometimes I hear you creeping in my bedroom walls and all of a sudden my whole being becomes nervous and my feet turns stone cold because somehow it reminds me of how much you smelled like the sweetest dream I ever had, but now, my gravest mistake. And I sit still panicking whether to entertain the memories I have left of you and kill myself with it. Most of the time I am left with no choice.

it’s the promise of actually seeing you that makes me wake up every morning filled with hope and waitful anticipation that tomorrow will come and i will have you in my arms again. it’s the hope of actually having you near me that makes my eyes well up late in the evening when it’s just you and me talking over the phone, in hushed voices and serene whispers, with love all over the silence. it’s the longing of your pure love that makes me write all day and all night for you, with no end, as an expression of my devotion to only you.

and it’s the small and tiny moments that i’ve missed spending with you that makes me dream of the day i’d see your beautiful eyes, your beautiful mind and your beautiful soul, once again and once more.

coralily :

flowers & books, my two favorite things

if i ever get to sit down and tell stories to my grandchildren one day, i will tell them how you had been a voyager, enthralled by the depth of the oceans you wanted so long to explore. how you’d set off one day to the unknown that awaited you. how you’d patiently put on your sails and studied the patterns of the waves. how you’d spend the time staring at the moon and the stars in the evening and asking yourself why you still feel incomplete. how you’d gaze at the unfailing glory of the sun when you’re all alone in your lonely boat. and how you’d nearly drown from the ocean that you had loved all your entire life only then to be miraculously thrown to the shore where i was standing by.

then, i will tell them of how i, a lone girl, wanted to breathe life to you again. i will tell them how i was struck by your presence in my life, how i had never seen such person as you before. for though a lot came to my island, never did anyone awed me just as you did. and i will tell them of how i prayed that you would stay if you should, and go away if you have to, for i can not lease off my heart again to an unsure buyer who would not guarantee if they’d stay. for though a lot came to my island, they never chose to stay. not a single soul. and i will tell them how we enjoyed walking by the recesses of the island while your heart was still found on the ocean, and how i stared at you all night, while i patiently await for sleep to come by and take me away, wondering why you couldn’t find your peace in me and stay. and wondering why i still allowed myself to fall deeply in love with you even if i knew it would hurt me in the end.

finally, i would tell them that one day, their grandmother eventually found courage and strength to brave the test that she needed to endure. i would tell them of how i asked you to go away for surely i can manage. after all the years of experiencing people coming and going by. for surely i can manage, because in time, i will heal and be my best self again.

and with tears in my eyes and happiness evident in my voice, i would tell them of how you chose to stay even if i had pushed you away. and how you had managed to persuade me to venture the ocean and explore the finest things in life, hand in hand with you. how although the ocean reminded me of your past scars and past stories, i will forever admire the purity of the sea for there will always be something beautiful after the pain, and that is you. you were beautiful and how you and i would eventually spend our entire lives braving the mild waves to the tremendous ones and neither of us chose to let go.

and that if i would relive my life again, i would do it over and over, until i ran out of chances, because i knew it was you i was meant to spend my life with.

(baa)

i’ll be better.

happy birthday in Christ, em.

kintalpress :

In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, we, like everyone else, would like to ask you all to stay at home, practice social distancing, take your vitamins and wash your hands regularly. On top of that, we recommend all of you creatives here on Tumblr (especially those who are in battle with the anxiety caused by the lockdown in Luzon) to DO YOUR THING.

For those whose responsibilities were somehow reduced, this might be a good chance to finish your passion projects. Take time to find some inspiration by reading the books on your to-read list or watch films you have been wanting to watch.

We also encourage you to help kill COVID-19 with passion. Through your writings or art, you can help in informing the public on the things they need to do to stop the spread of the virus. You may create a photo essay on social distancing, a poem on handwashing guidelines, or a comic strip to combat fake news. Let your creativity overflow and flood your anxiety.

If something has to die today, it’s our procrastination. We survive as a nation, and our passion lives with us.

–// 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜

i will write again. for you.

find yourself in my tiny words. as i lull you to sleep. find yourself in my mumbles as i comfort my aching heart. find yourself in my hums, for there you’ll find my heart’s ease. find yourself in me, and please never go away.