.

me: why the fuck is voltron trending???

all the trending posts: oh my god voltron is trending

sorry bro i gotta cancel my cat fell asleep on my chest so i can’t go

.

melizabethhughes :

inqorporeal :

appropriately-inappropriate :

myothercarisauhaul :

localhorrorlesbian :

one thing I’m grateful to my mom for is telling me from a very young age that if a man ever says he’ll kill me if I don’t do what he says, that I should fight and die. that it would be better to die than to be brought to a second location, it would be better to die instantly than live a little longer after god knows how much violation. i know that other people’s moms gave different advice, to be quiet so you can live and get away. little girls all got some kind of advice on what to do, though, huh? like… WHEN a man wants to hurt you. it’s surreal to think about how this shadow affects the landscape of girlhood

YES my mother said the same thing. Plus bite and scratch to get DNA, scream that you don’t know him, cause the biggest scene you can….but DO NOT get in a vehicle/go anywhere with him because “you have to assume that if you don’t get away right then, then you won’t get away at all”.

Your mom was right. That is standard self-defence advice — fight, scratch, scream, aim for testicles, eyeballs and and the throat. Use your teeth, your nails, your elbows, whatever you can. Maul the fucker.

If someone grabs you and intends to move you towards a second location, fight like your life depends on it:

Because it does.

And in case you think, “I’m smaller than him, I can’t do shit!” my trainer likes to tell this one:

Think of a cat. Cute, fluffy, adorable, right? Much smaller than you.
Imagine picking up that cat… and then having a friend dump a bucket of water over it.
Hell no, right? You’d get straight-up shredded. Even a big solid guy wouldn’t want to do that.

You don’t have to be the dude. You just gotta be the cat.

You don’t have to be the dude. You just gotta be the cat. 

Thank you for this, I’m taking this with me in all walks of life.

only a bit more than a week till I finally go back to the hotel for another 2 weeks god fuck I miss it so MUCH I can’t wait

mwagneto:

revenge

itrytobepositive :

Két csók közti mosoly

eltonjohnlesbian:

jim-prideauxs :

Tiny Dancer 3/3 || Rocketman (2019)

bernietaupin :

queenlokibeth :

bernietaupin :

tumblr bitch: liking 70s/80s music makes you a freak!

me: **growls really hard**

elton: its ok theyre just jealous babe…

me: i know elton, i know

freddie: **slaps my fat juicy ass**

me: NOT NOW FREDDIE ELTON AND I ARE HAVING A MOMENT

freddie: youre so boring **does a whole line of coke**

me: **sighs**

police: **en route**

elton: **john**

Hey this is on par with superwholock 2013 cringe, just letting you know

That’s the goal

.

mwagneto :

mwagneto :

I tried to come up with which one of John² has their one collective braincell in their scenes but I don’t think either of them has it tbh

Crocodile rock: Elton has the braincell. Evident from just how hard the song goes while John just stands there like 👀👀👀

Dom pérignon: John has it. He knows what he wants and he swoops in there n fuckin gets it

Tmttp: it’s undecided but I’m pretty sure neither of them has it. I’d say I have it but I can’t remember a single fckin thing so no. The braincell’s gone

Wink: Elton is completely head over heels. Braincell not found. John has it

Don’t go breaking my heart: 100% John has it. Elton can’t get a coherent sentence out while John even has the composure to press the light switch even tho I can’t even tell how the fuck he found it seeing as he had his eyes closed but oh well. Just proves my point. Elton might have had it for the few seconds where he checked if his breath smells

Honky cat: John has it most of the time and uses it to be a shit while Elton is once again head over heels and doesn’t even notice. Shit hurted btw

Sleeping arrangements: Elton thinks he has it and that firing Dick and Ray is a good idea but really John has it and is using it to be a manipulative ass

Quality time: Elton obviously has the braincell coz he finally breaks up with John’s rat ass

20%: neither of them have the braincell but Elton is still right

I’m still standing: Elton has the braincell and just straight up murders John right then and there. Iconic

Yeahhh like I don’t understand how any bigot can even choose this field and if they do why they let their bigotry influence their therapy like……. literally your job is to emphasize with people’s problems not rant to them about how the gays are abnormal and ruining your life or whatever

I mean I’ll never be in that exact situation but if a pretty girl strated hitting on me and offered to f*ck me at a party I’d ditch my friends too (plus Elton got laid too so hey)

Úristen xddd hát mitnemondjak big mood….. volt tananyag (naná) de a fent említett versét nem vettük (naná) de majd utánanézek 👀

Yeahh I’ve had time to think (sorry for not answering earlier btw skdnsnd) and I was never gonna stay w this one anyway but now I’m 100% sure I’m ditching for the one I originally picked, and no they don’t know my dad, my sister’s classmate recommend this one to me specifically coz I didn’t want my dad to know my therapist (especially since all my dad’s friends are uuuuuuuuuuuuuh shitty people) so I think the ability to trust is there but their world views don’t match mine at all plus they’re really idk. rude? condescending? and I just don’t feel understood yeah this is rambly sorry but!! I’m gonna switch to the one I originally picked as soon as I can

mwagneto:

MR FLETCHER

revenge

parkernoir:

ugly as shit

he’s hot you’re just not into men- *gunshot*

1.30am, me alone in the kitchen with nothing but this watermelon, some shitty music from an automated YouTube playlist and overwhelming existential dread

mwagneto:

not to be s*ft on main but I fucking love getting up earlier than the other person and making them breakfast and by the time they get to the kitchen still looking sleepy in their pjs ill have cooked or baked smtg rly nice for them to eat while listening to some music and it’s all soft and silly and i can’t wait to make breakfast for my wife every morning !!!!!

topsyturvy10 :

bodyglitter :

bodyglitter :

hey gays

Anyway hey gays

ok so smtg I just noticed is that he’s already wearing the “extremely stylish boots” from the Hercules montage/deleted scene

which makes. no sense ??? coz in the montage he gets them after this scene ^ and even if we say he got them before this scene, when would that be? coz all he did so far was go back to the troubadour w John so he’d have no time to go shopping with Bernie (esp since he’s with Heather)

so we gotta assume the scene where he gets the boots is from before his first troubadour performance and also the same shop where he got the crocodile rock outfit from - notice how they talked about making first impressions coz this is America and he only gets one chance to do that, and also the trailer where after he gets the boots and Bernie asks “can you even play the piano in those?” it cuts to him slamming his foot on the piano during crocodile rock but not in these shoes but the silver ones he wears during that scene and tiny dancer

so that means the shoe/shopping scene is before his first troubadour performance but then for some reason he decided to not wear the shoes even tho he got them for a “good first impression” (maybe it wouldn’t have got the white pants + blue shirt aesthetic ™)

so in conclusion

I HAVE LIKE 20 TIMES AS MANY FOLLOWERS AS YOUR 5'0 ASS BUT GO OFF I GUESS

i get called a spider-man kinnie all of the time i’ve kind of accepted it at this point. it doesn’t help that i’m in love with johnny storm

Yeah I’m trying to distance myself from her and I’m more or less succeeding, I definetly managed to keep a distance these past few months but idk she has a way of making me miss her and I DO and it sucks coz I really wanna be with her again but at the same time I know she’s shitty but in a way I can’t even describe, it’s messing with my head ugh but yeah hhh I’m. trying

hhhnnhnhngnng this is so fucking sweet I’m ???? thank u and hngh I’d love to make videos of me bitching but I’m insecure tm and also if any of my irls found my YouTube channel (happened before) I’d like. Kill myself skdnsnnd but yea h

if all’s true mom should be home by Thursday and she said she’s gonna take me shopping to get patches and a jacket so 👀👀👀👀👀