I don’t know where I went wrong. My anxiety has been unpredictable these past few years, and although I’ve tried to manage it & be myself & do what everyone expected of me, I couldn’t. & when my world was flipped upside down, my friends were there momentarily, but once I made my own decisions suddlenly they were gone. You don’t leave a friend when they’re lost. You don’t stop asking them to do stuff because they’ve told you no before. I refuse to take all the responsibility for the failed frienships I’ve had. I’ve never backstabbed anyone, I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone, I was just trying to do what was best for me at the time. I never told anyone I didn’t need them, I was just made to feel that I was “too negative” to be around. So I stopped coming around until I felt better. maybe because I was depressed? duh. my support system’s foundation shattered to the core when I needed it the most. the people I thought I could count on seemed to only judge what I was doing. That tells me I never had the right friends to begin with. It sucks to know that all the love, time, and energy I put into people, worrying about whether they were upset with me or not…just added to my anxiety. I do hope one day they see this & realize I did the best I could for how little time, energy, and emotional strength I had at the end of the day. I’m not sorry I tried to fll the emptiness in my chest with the love that I found. I’m not taking responsibility for our failed friendship because if they loved me, they wouldn’t have moved on so easy. I hope I find that happiness with true friends again, but this time better. more positive. healthy. supportive. joyous. until then, I’ll continue to work on myself, because at the end of the day, that’s all I have.