In my opinion, the whole premise of a successful FLR relationship hinges on one aspect. If you take away just one thing from these pages, then let it be this: The single most important tool at your disposal to keep the male motivated is controlling his orgasms and erections.
In fact, the very idea of living in a relationship where he pampers you as much as I have described in previous articles, and forsakes so much for himself, probably came into his mind after an unusually long period of not orgasming, for whatever reason.
His desire to please you is closely linked with his sexual energy level. Taking control over your man’s orgasms may seem alien at first, so by all means ease into it, but it is imperative that you eventually get around to it. And don’t worry, your man will be happy to comply.
So what does controlling his orgasms mean? Well, it means that you should limit his orgasms to build up sexual energy, which should go hand in hand with near-daily sexually charged activities - a combination that is commonly known as tease and denial. These techniques ensure he is always on his best behavior, and eager to please and serve your needs. Let’s explore why this is the case.
A typical man who has just had a release isn’t interested in anything sexual. And make no mistake, his desire to please you is closely linked to sex. For every day that goes by without an orgasm, especially if you tease him on a regular basis, his sexual energy will build up and so will his motivation to please you. How long it will take for him to reach the level of servility that you like is individual, but when I experimented with this in the early days of our FLR relationship, I found that a 3-5 day “break” was often necessary to get him in the right frame of mind. After that, I gently eased him into serving my needs again. After a few days of doing that, he was ready for anything and wanted nothing more than to please me. And then it’s just a matter of deciding how long he needs to go before he is allowed a release.
So how long should he go? Again, this is highly individual. I recommend at least three weeks and no more than three months. Given that there is a build-up period, you’ll want a nice, long period of uninterrupted full-on servitude before he has another break. Of course, as you become more comfortable in your role as the decision-maker you probably don’t want to give him an actual break after he has his release. Maybe a few hours, but you should instill in him a feeling that his need for sexual tension to function properly is his problem, not yours.
TEASING/KEEPING UP THE PRESSURE
If you deny him orgasms, his pressure will build all of itself. But in the long run he may lose interest in the whole arrangement if you only deny him and use him to serve your needs, without making it sexually attractive to him. He’ll be (mostly) happy to be denied as long as his sexual tension is high, but being denied without any reminders of what it is he wants so badly is not a recipe for success. So this is where one of your “responsibilities” come into play. You need to keep him mentally stimulated, in addition to the sheer physical tension that comes from denying him.
The way to do this is to have some near-daily routine that plays to his desires and kinks. Part of this can come from, say, giving you a massage every night, provided that he gets to see some skin and touch you in some borderline interesting areas. But a much more powerful way to do it is to devise some activity that requires no effort from you, but plays directly to his kinks. For example, for years I have made my husband sit at the foot of the bed, and lick my feet and suck on my toes while I finish reading for the night. When I am done, he is allowed into the bed and can continue to please me more directly (almost always a body massage and often oral sex).
The point is that you should come up with something similar to keep your man interested from a purely kink/sex perspective. It shouldn’t provide him any direct satisfaction, and I’ve found it to be an advantage psychologically if it doesn’t seem to do much for you either, but it needs to be something you can do as part of a near-daily routine (so don’t pick something that you actively dislike or that requires any effort on your part).
Our particular routine makes my man rock hard and very sexually excited every night, so when he finally is allowed into bed his penis is struggling against his chastity device. Which brings me to…
Men are men and they will want to play with their penises, never mind their good intentions. So how do you enforce a ban on sexual releases? Even the most motivated man could easily have an “accident”. Well, some FLR couples do this using the honor system only, but I’d venture to say that a majority use a chastity device - we certainly do.
If you have read this far with a lingering fear in the back of your head that pursuing a FLR relationship will turn you into leather-clad sex maniacs with a bedroom full of whips and strange sexual toys, this might be where your warning lights go off. But fear not, this is the only piece of equipment that (in my opinion) is required, and it’s a very discreet one. Simply put, it’s a small plastic or metal cage that locks into place with a ring around his testicles, keeping his penis pointed downward and limited to a certain size (definitely not large enough for a proper erection). They can be worn 24/7 for longer periods of time, aren’t visible under clothes (if you take certain precautions), and come with a set of small keys that you should carry with you. Imagine that - his precious penis locked away, and you holding the keys.
If you are totally new to this, you might need a few minutes to process this. It may seem extreme, but really isn’t. It’s a tool that helps you help him. And if he’s like most men wanting to live in a FLR relationship, he can’t wait to start wearing it.
You won’t believe the combined effect that being denied, locked up, and teased can have on a man’s psyche. He will be aching to make you happy, in any small way he can. And the cage will be a constant reminder of your kinky arrangement, which he will (mostly) love. Not only do you have him do all these embarassing things for you, but he can’t even get a proper erection without your approval. Poor thing…
For you, it will feel quite nice knowing that you hold the keys to his most precious body part. Imagining him in a meeting with a bunch of blustering alpha men, with a locked penis hidden under his suit, that only you can unlock (and practically never do), might bring a smile to your face if you’re having a bad day at work.
Should you always keep him in his cage, unless you’re activaly making use of his penis? That’s up to you. Many do, others use it more as a training tool. I keep my man locked up most of the time, with the occasional day off - a handful every year.
You should provide him with periodic releases. In addition to being a nice gesture, there are some possible health issues. So let him have his release every so often, but I suggest that you don’t give him a fixed schedule or date. Better to keep him guessing and on his toes. And, depending on how sadistic you are, they don’t have to be particularly enjoyable to him. Look up “ruined orgasms”, for starters.
A NOTE ON ERECTIONS
Limiting your man’s orgasms will have a real, physiological impact on his arousal level, but the other great thing about the chastity device is that it makes it impossible for him to even get an erection without you unlocking him, which is a huge deal psychologically. Think about it.
Enforcing orgasm and erection control is essential to a healthy FLR relationship, and chastity devices can be a really useful tool in that regard, but how does that affect your sex life?
Unbreakable Rules: 1. HONESTY…NEVER lie about ANYTHING. 2. COMMUNICATE…Listen to his needs, after all your husband is letting you fuck other men, the least you could do is listen to and fulfill his sexual needs. My husband is a big dominate man but SEXUALLY loves to be told what I’m going to do & how he can’t pleased me, who I want to fuck & little humiliation is in some cases important to the husband ..so guess what ? That’s what I do. 3. NEVER become attached to a lover.The only communication you should have with your bull is by text no, if husband not around. DON’T let it happen EVER…FOR ANY REASON. If you do you’re an IDIOT. 4. If you have solo sex, return to your husband as soon as you’re finished fucking your stud so that he can have his wife, fresh AND NASTY from her encounter. Be a SLUT ! 5.ALWAYS RECONNECT with him immediately after sex with someone else. TRAIN him to want to use you. That way he will encourage you to fuck other men for his satisfaction. 6. SHARE the experience with him. This is for the enhancement of your relationship and for mutually exciting sexual experiences….NOT to make other men feel good. Always make sure your hubby feels INVOLVED and SATISFIED and he will put you on a pedistal and let you be the slut you want to be. If husband not present you must video your time with your stud all the times. Ladies, is very important for your husband to feel satisfied make him go crazy for you. Be the nasty slut he wants you to be.
Good thoughts here
Once you put your cuckold in chastity you can have so much fun teasing, tempting, and arousing him. Just look.
Your bull fucks you doggystyle. Your cuckold does not. Why not tease him while he’s locked? Bend over and offer your pussy. If only he was unlocked he could slide inside you. He could have his way with your just like your bull does. It’s unfortunate that his cock is in its chastity device.
You can give him a blowjob while he’s in chastity. He won’t really be able to feel it, of course. It’s a perfect form of temptation and teasing. His little cock is soft and locked up and he can get a little bit of the sensation of your tongue on him, but that’s it.
He’ll thank you for the teasing. That’s the amazing thing about a cuckold. He wants you to lock his cock and refuse to let him out. He wants to feel your lips around his cock and be unable to truly enjoy it.
The best kind of lap dance is the one you give to your locked cuckold. He’ll moan, groan, and beg you to release him. You’ll rub your beautiful ass all over his chastised dick and refuse to let him out.
When you rub your perfect pussy all over his locked cock, make sure you verbally tease him too.
“Do you want to feel my perfect pussy around your cock, cuckold? Don’t you wish you could fuck me? Don’t you wish you could be inside me? Too bad. Your cock is going to stay in chastity for as long as I desire.”
Want to drive him crazy? Tell him you’re going to have sex and then keep his cock locked up while you ride a dildo in front of him. Even better, have him wear a strapon to fuck you.
Your feet can be objects of pleasure, especially if he’s got a fetish. If you want to up the teasing, masturbate and moan while you’re playing with his cock in chastity. Even better, talk about how much you want another man’s cock inside you while you’re doing it.
You own his balls, so have a little fun with them. They can take more squeezing and pain than you might know, so feel free to give them a good tug while he’s locked up.
A list of ideas and activities for dominant women to use on their submissive male partners… to tease, humiliate, discipline, punish, and torment him.
Ways to Tease Him
- Tease Your slave to get him to the point where he’ll “Do Anything to please You”
- Make him strip naked while You keep Your clothes on.
- Have him kneel before You and kiss Your feet.
- Have him address You as ‘Mistress’
- Have him kiss Your ass…make him beg to kiss Your ass.
- Tie his hands and have him undress You with his mouth/teeth.
- Don’t let him masturbate or touch his cock without Your permission at any time.
- Tie his hands behind his back. Have him kneel with knees spread naked in front of You while You read or watch TV, occasionally nudging his balls or penis with Your shoes.
- Either order him to stay erect, or don’t give him permission to have a hard on… either way, punish him if he fails!
- Use some strong string (kite string), tie a slip noose in the end and tighten it around the head of the penis, tug on it, pull it shake it, lead him with it, whatever You please.
- Show Your slave Your panty crotch, make him smell it, but no touching without permission.
- Tie Your slave spread eagle to the bed and tease him for hours. Make sure he has a big hard on, but once he does only touch it when he needs just a little more encouragement, don’t let him cum.
- Put on his favorite lingerie and tease him with Your beauty.
- Scratch him with Your finger nails.Tickle him. Pinch his nipples.
- Sit on his chest and find out what he would do to be allowed to kiss Your nipple. Let him almost kiss it but pull away, make him beg.
- Take a break, put some worn panties over his face and leave the room for a while and let him think about what else You might do.
- Squat above his face, make him reach with his tongue to taste the crotch of Your panties…get more promises
- Blindfold him and make him lick You to several orgasms. Take a break, cum back and do it all again.
- Rub his face against Your pussy or sit on his face, but gag him with Your panties or a gag so that he can’t lick You.
- Tie his balls off to something behind him so he has to tug on them to smell Your panties or kiss Your ass…stay just out of reach.
- Masturbate in front of him. Use a dildo or a vibrator.
- Put the base of the dildo in his mouth and make him satisfy You with it. Do it so his nose presses between Your ass cheeks. He’ll be Your little brown noser and love it.
- Make him lick the dildo clean.
- Tie him down to the bed and tie his hands to his penis but do not give him permission to cum with harsh punishments for disobedience.
- Put Your worn panties over his head so he can smell your odor.
- Make him wear a cock ring (a watch strap or cat collar works well)
Ways to Humiliate Him
- Make him wear Your panties or lingerie, dress him up as a little girl or a French maid.
- Make him do housework naked or dressed in women’s clothes.
- Have him pamper You, have him:
- give You a foot/back/full body massage
- give You a pedicure/manicure,
- paint Your finger/toe nails.
- bathe You/shave your legs.
- cook and serve You a nice dinner.
- Make him hand wash Your panties and lingerie.
- Make him polish Your shoes with his tongue.
- Make him wear a collar and lead him around with a leash, like a dog.
- Attach a leash to his balls or cock ring, and lead him around with that.
- Tie it off in front of the sink while he does the dishes.
- Ride him around as Your pony boy…spurs? a riding crop?
- Dress him up like the slut that he is, wear a strap-on dildo and make him beg to suck it. fuck him. (don’t forget the fuck-me red lipstick!)
- Make him wear Your panties or lingerie under his regular clothes when he goes out or goes to work so that he will think of his Mistress constantly.
- Make him masturbate for You, make him beg for permission to cum, don’t let him, punish him if he does.
- Make him screw himself with a dildo.
- Make him earn his rewards; for example:
- Allow him to kiss Your ass after the dishes are done.
- 1 minute of pleasure for him for 10 minutes of Yours. 5 minutes of pleasure for him after he makes You cum 5 times. Spank him 10 times for each minute it takes him to make You cum.
- If You think he’s earned an orgasm, make him cum on Your feet or Your ass and then make him lick You clean.
- Order him to bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stay there until You give him permission. When You give the command he must cum within 5 seconds or he will be punished and/or not allowed to cum at all. (keep him that way for 30 minutes, an hour…or as long as You want)
- If he’s really horny and bothering You, You may want to curb his interest by ordering him to jerk off 5 or 6 times in a row. Use it as skin conditioner… 3 times on each foot, have him spread it around and lick them clean after each time.
- Always make him lick You clean after sex.
- When You go out, order him to tie himself up, be naked or dressed up as a girl and be kneeling at the door for when You arrive.
- Lock a padlock on his balls.
- Give him a golden shower.
- Make him think of a new way for You to humiliate him. Punish him if You don’t think it’s good enough. Make him post it to the net (and send it to me to add to the list)
Ways to Discipline and Punish and Torment Him
- Spank or whip him. (wooden spoon, hair brush, belt, ruler, ping pong paddle, riding crop, switch, cat-o-nine tails…)
- Tie him in an uncomfortable position.
- Tie his ankles together and attach his balls to them.
- Hog tied. (wrists and ankles tied together)
- Hanging from the ceiling by his wrists.
- In a chair with his knees pulled up to his shoulders – good for spanking and everything is exposed and vulnerable.
- Tie up his balls and cock with a long leather thong, clothes line, or boot lace. Use a long piece, and wrap the base and balls repeatedly. Do each ball separately. Tie tight loops around his shaft from base to tip then tie the end off back between his legs and up to a belt or to his handcuffs.
- Make him wear a chastity belt or cock cage.
- Attach clothes pins or nipple clips to his nipples, balls, cock or wherever.
- Put a butt plug in his ass. Or get out the strap-on.
- Double up on his domestic chores, make them more difficult: tie his hands; make him use a toothbrush to clean the toilet, tie his ankles with a short chain and make him wear extra high heels.
- Deny him orgasms for a long period of time.
- Have him lick You clean after you pee.
- Put Ben-gay or icy-hot on his penis and nipples.
- Drip candle wax on him.
- Make him do exercises (jumping jacks, leg spreads, squats, aerobics, yoga…)
- Humiliate him in public…take him shopping for panties/lingerie