Recovering from people pleasing/codependency requires learning:
I am not responsible for managing others’ moods.
It’s so hard to go against this learned survival mechanism but I need boundaries to protect my energy.
Any relationship I have I want to be two healthy adults with boundaries, not two unhealthy adults enmeshed.
No I’m done believing I’m the wrong one.. cause I tell everyone how dependent I can be and how sometimes I can be a little much to handle and they ignore me and say that they can handle me only for them to abandon me a year later and then treat me like I’m the bad guy.
Trauma didn’t make me nice, I consciously made me nice because I don’t want anyone else to suffer like I did. Trauma didn’t make me strong, I made me strong. Don’t you dare ever tell me my trauma made me anything but scared, broken, and confused. Don’t give credit to the abusers for me being a good person. They didn’t make me good, I made myself good.
SLIGHTLY AGGRESSIVE FRIENDLY REMINDER TO USE YOUR COPING MECHANISMS AND SUPPORT DEVICES! NO, YOU’RE NOT FAKING IT. YEAH, YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR MEDS, DO YOUR THERAPY EXERCISES, USE YOUR MOBILITY AID. DON’T END UP OVERDOING IT BY TRYING TO GET ALONG WITHOUT IT AND SUFFERING THE CONSEQUENCES. BE KIND TO YOURSELVES AND YOUR BODIES.
But what if I am faking it?
If you gotta wonder if you’re faking it, you’re not faking it. I promise you. You have to actively try and fake something, you can’t do it on accident.