Super Mario Bros movie? There was already a Super Mario Bros movie and it was this shit 28 years ago
This shit. Mario and Luigi are two plumbers in Brooklyn. Their names are Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. The movie fucking starts with a woman leaving a baby on the doorstep of a Catholic Church. But the baby?
It’s a fucking dinosaur egg. You know who’s in that egg?
Here are some other abysmal screenshots from this nightmare of a movie
This is Yoshi.
Can you imagine. Can you imagine. Can you imagine being a little eight year old child and getting so excited checking out the vhs at your local blockbuster video because it says “SUPER MARIO BROS” on the cover and you are just so hype because super mario bros are your favorite thing ever. and then you pop that bad boy into the vcr and you get this
What is this. What the fuck is this. They don’t even look related. Why does everyone have guns. Why is the entire premise of this movie that there’s an alternate reality where dinosaurs have taken over Manhattan. Why is Princess Daisy directly descended from those dinosaurs. Why is Princess Peach nowhere to be found.
And you continue to sit through the entire movie because you’re eight years old and your parents put it on to keep you quiet in the next room and you don’t know how to stand up and turn it off or ask for your parents to come get you, so you just keep watching it while hiding under a table not sure what’s happening and why mario looks like the kind of dude your parents tell you to deliberately not approach and why luigi looks 20 years younger than him even though they’re supposed to be brothers and why everyone has guns and why everyone is a human and there are no fun little mushrooms or colors or animated creatures anywhere to be seen.
And you are thinking to yourself sure. Okay. Maybe they’ve taken some artistic license. But there’s no way they’ll fuck up Yoshi. Yoshi is a dinosaur and he’s green and round. He has to be animated. And they’ll go into the alternate dimension and it’ll be the super mario bros I’ve been knowing and expecting. And then you get to the Yoshi and it’s this knockoff raptor Jurassic-Park lookin’ ass.
This is Bowser, I guess. But they called him King Koopa and he was also like, President Koopa and the whole thing had a really weird NYC business city thing going while also just throwing in dinosaurs I guess because koopas are vaguely dinosaur shaped?? But they have shells?? Absolutely nothing about this was recognizable to me in my eight year old mind and I was too young to know how to process that information.
I thought I hallucinated this. I thought it was a bad dream. I wanted it purged from my mind. I cried while it was playing, I cried when it was over. I have not stopped crying since the day this accursed movie entered my mind. And every day has been a living hell since.
oh my god oh my godddddd
the “c” in “cia” stands for “communist”
marxism is when women star in movies, the more women starring in movies there are, the more marxister society is
god i fucking wish all the things rightwingers think are true were true
okay, so it has come to my attention that @swag-lisa has reposted my gifs, cropped the watermark and put their own. even their web theme is the same as mine, this is not okay and i suppose that they are reposting others’ work too. these are literally my gifs just the watermark is cropped. at this point, should we put the watermark in the middle of the gif? is it so hard to reblog, do you have to repost it and claim it as yours? i’m just really frustrated at this point. this is NOT ok.
I think what most ppl don’t understand also abt chargers & cords is that USB isn’t like. A brand. There’s no Personal Stake in this, its a series of protocols so that shit companies like Apple don’t have us reverting to the 90s / late 2000s where every company insisted on having their own proprietary connection type. Like, intel created it but they made it 100% open and royalty free for anyone to produce, and its stayed that way.
“I don’t do these things for money,” Ajay Bhatt, Intel’s chief systems technologist, who’s largely responsible for inventing USB technology, told Business Insider. “I did this to bring about change, and it’s not very often that somebody gets a chance to bring about this big a change.”
like how much of this type of cool shit do you see these days being so popularized that people don’t even think of / realise it.
freshman year of college I (a simple lesbian) met a gay dude and we instantly clicked and started talking about our childhoods and stuff and discovered we were born in the same hospital on the same day so we became each other’s beards and watched hentai together every weekend
That sentence started and ended in very different places
Y’all know that like…. being fat isn’t bad right
Like, most human bodies have adapted in such a way that it’s easy to gain fat and muscle and harder to lose them. Especially fat. It’s easy to gain fat bc your body needs it and we live in a calorie-rich time. Fat =/= bad, and I’m so so so tired of our entire society acting like it does.
everyone in the notes going “yeah! being fat is fine there’s a difference between being fat and being obese, as long as you’re not obese you’re okay :)” can kiss my obese ass
First rule of being a graphic designer…they will absolutely just print and use your fake placeholder copy so just go into it expecting that
What a super casual and average response, thanks for your contribution :)
Nintendo paywalling to the ability to play classic n64 and sega genesis behind a second paid online membership
so yes emulating is still morally right fuck these bastards
20 year old games for an extra 8 dollars on top of whatever how much Nintendo online costs already like you’re not even owning these games it’s a fucking rental service.
last time i did this my wish really came true. so im going to wish again
nothing to lose. :))
Why not? :)
i got nothing to lose. (:
Last time i did this my wish came true.
Jesus Christ if my wish comes true I will piss
please work omg
looks fun lol
IT SERIOUSLY WORKED
Well, i got nothing to lose, might as well try it
This shall be interesting😌
I really need this.
Teacher to me (photographer): this is Mohammed.
Me: and last name?
Teacher: -shrug- his name is Mohammed, hes the only Mohammed at this school.
Mohammed: -is in preschool, doesnt know his last name-
Me: -looks up Mohammed in system- Nadir?
Teacher: sure, yeah. Sounds right.
Me: this will come back to bite me later.
After merging my camera data with another photographer: there’s two Mohammed Nadirs. -goes to talk it out with secretary-
Me: -shows two photos- which of these kids is Mohammed?
Secretary: -points to the one I did not shoot- that’s Mohammed.
Me: I was told this one was Mohammed. -points to my student-
Secretary: well, theres only one Mohammed.
Secretary takes me to the break room to chat with two teachers.
Me: can one of you tell me which one is Mohammed?
Teacher A points to my student.
Teacher B points to not my student.
Both: that’s Mohammed.
Teacher B says that her Mohammed is in her class and is definitely Mohammed Nadir.
Me: so who is Mystery Mohammed?
Teachers Aide walks by: who are you trying to find?
Me: -turns laptop around- can you identify this child?
Teachers Aide: oh! That’s Mohammed!
So theres two Mohammeds. Secretary cant find data for Mystery Mohammed. No one can find his name. All we know is he’s in preschool.
Me: okay! Can you direct me to the teacher?
Teachers Aide: sure.
I have my laptop open to the photo as I’m walking down the hall, updating data as we go looking for this kid. Checking hairstyles and clothes in vase we see him in the hall. Buffalo check shirt. Hi-top fade. Secretary is freaking out a little that she lost all data for entire student.
We pass the library.
A class is exiting.
I see the buffalo check shirt. I see the hi-top fade. Kid is wearing a mask.
Teachers aide taps him.
Me: is this you?
Child: no, that’s Mohammed.
Identical child is Mohammed’s cousin. They dressed alike for picture day because their mothers thought it would be cute.
Cousin: I dont know his last name. His mom never told me.
Teachers aide leads me to classroom where we see…
Me: Hi, hello Mrs preschool teacher. I need to know the name of this child-
Teacher: that’s Moham-
Me: Mohammed, yes. We gathered. What’s his LAST name?
Teacher: Mohammed, what’s your last name?
Mohammed: -stares at the wall, then points to a picture of a duck-
Teacher: his last name is not ‘duck.’ I’ll go look it up for you.
Five minutes later and the reason we couldn’t find his name was because he spells it MUHammad. All of this because the teacher swore he was the only kid in the school with the most common name in the world.
End scene, exit left pursued by a migraine.
This sounds like the EXACT flavor of bullshit literally everyone I know whos’ had to deal with the education system in Ohio has told me about. Honestly I’m just glad it didn’t escalate to a fistfight in the parking lot somehow.