I could not have articulated this but it is SO GOOD
I could not have articulated this but it is SO GOOD
Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?
Then about a week into their journey like
Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying
Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst
Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits
Merry: Frodo what’d he say
Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish
Merry: I mean you could do that but consider
Merry: you can only tell him ONCE
Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.
Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible
Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK
Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?
Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying
Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:
Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.
Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.
Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*
i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.
english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.
they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.
so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.
plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.
so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.
to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.
so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!
considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.
…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.
which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.
this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!
Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.
Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*
Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now
Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?
Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?
Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.
Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.
Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.
Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man
Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s
Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post
If I remember correctly, in the “tree of tongues” material from The Lost Road, Tolkien goes into some detail about how the reason elves have so many dialects is that elves view language as a form of collaborative art, which they delight in, so a newly-coined word or grammatical construct gets spread around just like a new song would.
Elves may be immortal, but they’re also immortal nerd OCs and we must never forget this
Thank you for this addition which is both lovely and educational
So what you’re saying is, they’re us. They’re the internet. Sending “yeet” and “smol” and “I lik the bred” all over creation until two elves who’ve never met in their lives and be like “beans, amirite?” and “yeah I love kitter feets too.”
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
Eluari’s X-Mas Art Giveaway 2019
If you have been following me for a while you might know that I usually host 2 giveaways a year: One in the summer and one at X-Mas to say THANK YOU for all the support from my lovely followers! 💕
What you get: Oh wait, it’s a portrait! From any universe or fandom, an original character from your story or fanart from a character you love… You name it & I’ll draw it for you.
What you have to do: Reblog this post to enter. Each reblog counts as a separate entry. No giveaway blogs please. You must be following me. New followers are welcome but please don’t just follow for the chance to win free art. You’d break my heart </3. I’m a writer & artist, so check out if my content appeals to you before following.
Deadline: 26th of December 2019, 23.59 GMT +1. Good Luck! 🤗
it means i can oppose war, american imperialism, the military industrial complex, and the cult of male violence without discounting the myriad factors that contribute to someone enlisting, including but not limited to millions of dollars spent annually to recruit children.
also means i’m disgusted with a culture that superficially venerates veterans for nationalist and capitalist purposes while simultaneously fucking them over re: housing and healthcare and suppressing veteran voices should their experience as a vet happen to inform anything resembling anti-military sentiment
The appalling travesty that was BBC’s Sherlock has infested the Sherlock Holmes fandom like a malignant tumour so I want you all to know how awesome the OG literary Holmes was:
- The literary Sherlock Holmes was an autistic coded character before people knew what autism was.
- The literary Sherlock Holmes was an explicitly aromantic character before people had a word for that.
- Literary Holmes solved mysteries not merely for the intellectual stimulation but also out of a genuine desire to do good. He cared deeply about every client. HE WAS NOT A HIGH-FUNCTIONING SOCIOPATH! He could definitely be insensitive and blunt but he was not callous or unfeeling.
- Literary Sherlock threatened to beat a guy who was being creepy with his own stepdaughter.
- Literary Sherlock learned to grow past his misogyny after a woman outsmarted him.
- In particular, he was always respectful to Mrs Hudson, never belittling or talking down to her (the otherwise enjoyable Guy Ritchie films screw this up too). In fact, they got along so well that they were actually a very popular ship back in the day.
- Literary Holmes would NEVER call Watson an idiot. He was his only friend who he loved and respected, even if he did get frustrated with him sometimes. He didn’t need to belittle others to feel powerful.
- Literary Holmes and Watson broke into a corrupt man’s house and witnessed him being murdered by a woman he was blackmailing. They knew exactly who she was but they let her get away because they were chaotic good like that.
- Literary Holmes had HUMILITY: something a smug prig like Steven Moffat will never understand. He could be arrogant but he had a sense of humour and was willing to admit when he was wrong. And he was wrong sometimes because he was a flawed human being, not some gross male power fantasy.
- Literary Holmes respected the working class and was often disdainful of the rich. In Victorian England!
- Literary Holmes indirectly caused the death of a guy who abused (and implicitly molested) his daughters and he didn’t give a single fuck about it.
- At the end of the series, Holmes retires to Sussex to keep bees. Beekeepers are awesome.
I will reblog this always.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016) costumes by Kari Perkins
The Longest Yard (1974) costumes by Charles E. James
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) costumes by Dana Lyman
Sleepaway Camp (1983) costumes by Eileen Sieff Stroup
Baywatch Pilot (1989) costumes by Michael W. Hoffman & Aggie Lyon
Sleepaway Camp (1983) costumes by Eileen Sieff Stroup
I Like It Like That (1994) costumes by Sandra Hernandez
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) costumes by Jill M. Ohanneson
Rocky III (1982) costumes by Tom Bronson
Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6x02 (2019) costumes by Kirston Leigh Mann
“Wh–okay, WHAT. How did THAT…”
“Fuse into … THAT???”
“Steven’s a cute roly-poly teen and Greg’s a dumpy, bald, chubby dude! Why is STEG a ripped rockstar with Jojo hair and Elvis pelvic thrusts?? THIS IS A MAN AND HIS SON WHY AM I SO UNCOMFORTABLE??”
Sure, this is a surprising choice! Especially considering the concept art had him looking a little more like we’d expect, plus some, erm, STEGosaurus hair.
So I’ve seen plenty of discussion suggesting Steg’s fit physique comes from Steven’s perception that his amazing rockstar Guitar Dad has abs and beefy muscles…
And it’s been observed that the hair is likely Steven’s idea of what a handsome rockstar looks like, considering he did his hair like that when he wanted to be “The Handsome One” as the front man of Steven and the Stevens:
But really…why does a Fusion between two modest musicians manifest as an over-the-top rockstar prettyboy? Why would they envision a father/son team as…sort of a sex symbol?
There are a few possible reasons and they have layers. Just like any Fusion does.
We all know that Steven has long idolized his dad, especially admiring his music skills and believing him the most reliable source of knowledge on…well, everything in his life that isn’t Gem magic. He doesn’t just think he’s great. He literally sees him as incredibly talented and strong and capable of commanding a stage. Steven’s part in this isn’t too hard to chase down.
But what about Greg’s part?
Steven’s Gem life has long been something Greg doesn’t get to participate in. He avoids it sometimes, out of perception that he’ll get hurt, become a burden, or simply be unhelpful. He sees the Gems’ magic, including his son’s, as something ethereal, something he can be around but never really have and hold, something incredible he can only admire from afar.
What if suddenly, against all odds, you were Greg and all at once YOU GOT TO BE PART OF THE MAGIC?
Steven isn’t the only one who sees his closest male relative as a superhuman superstar. There are aspects of Steven that Greg looks at with stars in his eyes. Finally being part of it all has got to be SO POWERFUL. Steg’s look and demeanor would reflect that.
No Fusion we’ve met looks like the fan Fusions. There’s always something extra that’s magnified, transformed, imported, or straight up brand new. Garnet’s shades. Smoky Quartz’s freckles. Sardonyx’s tux. Sunstone’s adorable jean shorts with Ruby and Sapphire–inspired pockets. Every Fusion combines the traits of the Gems they’re composed of, but they’re also created by what they inspire in each other. This is not just fanon, folks. We’ve seen that it’s true in the show, but it’s said explicitly in the old book Guide to the Crystal Gems–which is written by Rebecca Sugar and put in Garnet’s mouth, so you can trust that it remains a true statement about fusion:
“A Fusion is more than just a mash-up of the fusers; a Fusion is also a manifestation of the fusers’ influence on each other.”
Greg admires his superhero son and Steven admires his rockstar dad. A superhero rockstar would look and act a certain way, surely, and what they see inside each other would suddenly be on the outside–for real.
It’s temporary. They both know this is a FANTASY.
Steven and Greg will never be a permafusion like Garnet. They don’t want to live as Steg because they do not live most of their lives on a stage. Steg lives to be a performer. He basically IS a performance.
A lot like Sardonyx, Steg appears to wow everybody, give the audience a big finish, and then dissolve, living only for the short term. That’s why it’s so energetic and captivating: because it has to survive only for a short time. They have their moments and relish their relationship and are an amazing sensation together, but Steven and Greg have pretty different lives. They’re independent together.
Steg is a ridiculous exaggeration because that’s part of the show he puts on. There is never any follow through intended on those pelvic thrusts. There is never any actual attempt to seduce audience members or sweet talk anyone into questionable deeds with that voice or create sustained relationships outside the mission. Steg does his job and he does it well. But that is ALL he does.
He’s a celebration and a fantasy and a manifestation of what neither of them could actually ever be alone. It isn’t that weird that he’s attractive (or at least, he’s an attractive trope even if you don’t agree); he’s an idea and a mirage. And he’s a huge thrill and a great performance when he’s together. They both have it in them. It’s just not who they are, unless they combine.
So yes, it’s a bit of a shock that their Fusion is like that, but at the same time, both fusion and rocking out are concepts that absolutely DAZZLE Steg’s components, and Greg and Steven have always thought this was a world they’d never be part of. When they finally got a chance to do each other’s thing and do it together…
Why wouldn’t they turn it up to eleven?
Just my opinion, but hopefully it’s useful for some of y’all
I always thought that Michelin was like a prestigious international society of food critics but they’re a fucking tyre manufacturer.
I like how they were like “well there aren’t many cars around so to get them to buy more tires let’s publish a tour guide to France so people travel more and use up their tires.”
Over time they started to incorporate restaurants worth visiting on their tours and even sent out anonymous inspectors to gather information to rate them and now over 100 years later they made a notoriously grumpy world renowned chef cry because his restaurant lost two stars in a rating system that two dudes made up to sell more tires.
They became a world renowned food criticism magazine on accident?????