Alphonse is the “Man documents his life as the third wheel for three years in awkward selfies” guy as he follows Ed and Winry around.
SOMEONE DRAW THIS I’M BEGGING HERE
-“mommy, the kids at school are mean to me!”
-“OH, WHAT, ARE U #TRIGGERED???, LIFE ISNT UR #SAFE SPACE LMAO”
Stay away from children for the rest of your lives please
The people who hate this are probably the ones traumatizing their children
It must be weird being the official voice actor for Disney characters. One day, you’re recording for a preschool show. The next day, you’re recording voice clips for toys. The day after that, you’re recording an existential monologue on the duality of light and darkness for a video game series where Mickey Mouse once vowed to avenge Goofy’s death.
This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.
A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.
Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?
His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.
I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.
It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.
I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.
I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.
I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.
So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.
This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash. This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.
I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.
Tldr: The reason clothes never “looked right on you” is because models and celebrities always had their clothes tailored to fit them perfectly.
This is so important. If something doesn’t fit you perfectly, the problem is the clothes, not you.
i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do
Smoove with it too
This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters.
“Pathetic. You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”
reminds me of this gif
Baseball players are to be feared
Reblogging for the last one
^Same for me
They just kept getting progressively more “woah”
Oh my god this is a lucky universe
every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”
Morally grey: A character who does too much bad to be a good person, but does too much good to be a bad person.
Sympathetic villain: A character who is a bad person, but whose backstory/character arc makes you feel sorry for or sympathetic towards them.
Anti-hero: A character who does bad things to achieve a good goal.
Anti-villain: A character who does bad things to achieve a goal that they believe to be good, but is actually messed up.
Just plain annoying: A character who does bad things to achieve a bad goal but has one throwaway line about a hard childhood that is expected to put them into one of the aforementioned categories when in reality it just makes them annoying
*main character becomes a villain* oh my GOD… oh MY GOd do that again
*main character becomes a villain against their own will* oh my GOD… oh MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD
*villain gets a redemption arc and becomes a main character *
#i’m all of these at once
First panel Izuku:
• HoW dO I spEAk GIrL
• is flustered and nervous bc Uraraka is on his team
• he wants to crawl in a hole bc a pretty girl is next to him
Second panel Izuku:
• MY BEST FRIEND IS GONNA KICK ALL THEIR ASSES
• knows Uraraka is gonna kick all their asses
• so excited to watch Uraraka kick all their asses
Todoroki keeps getting portrayed as someone who’s quite aloof and detached when he’s about 5 seconds away from serious violence at any given moment
- Throwback to the time when he froze the entire stadium cause he was just “upset is all”
- deadass created a whole new ecosystem and a second ice age (not to mention poor, poor Sero) cause he was just UpSEt iS aLL
- Also when he called the Chief of Police a “mangy mutt” and was an inch away from squaring up with him even though he just entered the room. Literally had to be restrained by Midoriya cause he was about to throw hands
- but also like GODDAMN he really called the CHIEF OF POLICE a “MANGY MUTT” like the NERVE
- Passive aggressively slurped soba in front of his abusive father
- Slurp, slurp, bitch
- “ThATs A nAStY ScAR YoU gOt ThEre”
- SNARKS his teacher when he gets captured during the final exam “You think you’ve caught me? This is nothing. I could burn or freeze these restraints in an instant” like WOWOWOW way to give away that strategy Todoroki and undermine the intelligence of the person who assigns your grades
- And then when Aizawa reveals the caltrops under Todoroki he goes “You’re pretending to be some kind of ninja?” DID NO ONE TELL THIS KID TO RESPECT HIS ELDERS?? WHO ALLOWED this ROASTMASTER to go unchecked for so long
- Todoroki was put in the back of the class cause he would obviously throw his pencils at Aizawa when he says something Todoroki disagrees with
- Even bakugou doesn’t talk back to his teachers but Todoroki clearly has no fucks left to give
- Im just…shook
- Todoroki would fight all of us in the UA parking lot and he’d probably win too cause he’s an overdramatic BITCH
not to be fake deep but admitting you fucked up and saying you’re sorry is 100000000x more rewarding than defending flawed views or thoughtless if unintentionally so actions, 10/10 would recommend, it’s not losing face it’s earning respect
This is literally how you know you’re an adult. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m cranky but that doesn’t excuse taking it out on you.” “I’m sorry I screwed this vital thing up. I thought I had it under control and didn’t. Can we fix it by
xyz?” “I’m sorry I forgot we had plans tonight. I was distracted, but this is important to you. Let’s do the thing!”
A sincere I’m sorry are two of the most powerful words in the English language.
the road to el dorado when in the context of a d&d game is the most astounding and hellish streak of 1′s and 20′s
“The people think that you’re gods, what do you do?”
“…we go along with it.”
“…I got a one.”
“Your foot gets caught in the stirrup while you try to dismount from the horse. You look ridiculous.”
“Well I rolled a twenty.”
“…somehow, a volcano stops erupting on your cue. Everyone falls to their knees in awe.”
“I roll to come up with an escape plan”
“…I got a one”
“I try to convince the horse to break us out”
“I got a twenty”
Y'know now that I’ve seen this post I don’t think I’ve ever seen the movie like I thought I had
Terfs: wombyn are their ovaries!!! Ovaries make a wombybybynnn. Accept that u are a womynbdgnn you have ovaries !!!!
Me, a trans man on the danger list for ovarian cancer and is going to get them removed in the distant or near future:not for long
You’re still female whether you have ovaries or not lmao
You heard it here first folks!! Females are females regardless of whether or not they have ovaries, so trans women are women regardless of their lack them. Well said :)
You played yourself like a damn fiddle, fool
i love watching terfs run circles around their own logic:
“you need ovaries to be a wombyn!!!”
transman: guess who got that shit removed I’m a Real Boy™ now
“nO not like that you still have a uterus that makes you female!!!”
ciswoman who’s had a complete hysterectomy: guess i’m not a woman then
“tHAT”S NOT WHAT I MEANT if you have a vagina/vulva you’re female!!!”
transwoman who’s had bottom surgery: oooh i’ve got one of those does that mean i’m a Real Girl™ now??”
“NO YOU DON’T HAVE OVARIES OR A UTERUS”
literally everyone except terfs: *squints*
i especially love to person in the notes who brought up needing to have “female muscle/fat distribution patterns” like I have some incredible news for you about exactly what Hormone Replacement Therapy does…
Reblogging to show that terfs dumb crazy
🌟Reblog to piss a terf off🌟
🌷reblog to support & uplift a trans person🌷
I’m serious. That’s just really sweet. She could dream about whatever self-indulgent events she could imagine… and her happy dream is seeing Jaune succeed like she’s tried so hard to help him do. That says a lot about her as a character. She is selfless and kind down to her base elements. It doesn’t benefit her in any way except that they can fight together, which is cool to see. I was really expecting something more romantic…
What could possibly be more romantic than fighting alongside your s/o?
I think my favorite thing about Kim Possible is how weirdly mundane it is, for being an action show. Like most other teen superhero shows are very dramatic with huge stakes, but Kim didn’t even have any powers. She was just an exceptionally good cheerleader, she didn’t even have a secret identity. The villain wasn’t even some big baddie with a tragic backstory and weird powers, he was just some crazy middle aged dude with a grumpy assistant that like just happened to live in the same town as Kim.
They ate fast food in like every episode. What even was Kim Possible.
Imagine a dragon at Antiques Roadshow, appraising its hoard
Imagine the dragon hoards monetarily worthless things like newspapers or old bones and the person appraising it getting more and more nervous about telling the dragon their stuff isnt worth anything
Imagine that the dragon knows this and just likes watching the person squirm.
The dragon actually hoards uncomfortable situations
I just love it when people come up with random weird animal or dragon things and iguanamouth illustrates them just because.
I love how in FMA, you have all these longstanding friendships/partnerships with romantic undertones as most of the love stories.
And then there’s Al and Mei. Al meets Mei, and she instantly gets these incredibly unrealistic expectations of how manly and gentlemanly and perfect Al is. And, normally, a show would have her learn he’s not all that. But instead FMA has Al proceed to prove every single one of her expectations right and the fantasy is never broken for a second.
What a fucking stud.
you might say he’s a knight in shining armor
I have a terrible joke, and I must share it.
So a frog goes in for a loan. He hops up to the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.”
Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot.”
Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.”
“That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs some kind of collateral.”
So the frog takes a ceramic pig out of its little bag and sets it on Patricia’s desk (he looks very smug at this point). He says, “I think this ought to take care of that.”
“Uh, let me check with my boss.” So Patricia takes the ceramic pig and goes back to her boss’s office and explains the situation. “And what the hell even is this?” she concludes, pointing to the ceramic pig.
Her boss says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
THIS MADE ME SCREAM IN RAGE