@punkphobe

bleakcreek :

i would, can, and WILL die for sydnee mcelroy

tryclops :

i really truly hate this

clotpolesonly :

firebirdeternal :

taraljc :

xjessr :

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500 or $5. Not when he cheats 10 times and you stay.

“Ride or Die” also means that if he ever hits you, he dies, and you call your bff for a ride.

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another. 

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another.

beavesaintmarie :

procyonvulpecula :

shittyidea :

Reverse Robin Hood where you rob the poor and give to the rich

#u know what’s so cool about this photo? #they both dead and in hell

meltingregular">disqusting:

meltingregular :

Someone shared this on fb

gaygent-three :

crypticwafflesandvhstapes :

aralcle :

everythingsaboutyou :

“dude” but like romantically

“babe” but like platonically

“Sweetheart” but like rivalry

“bastard” but like partner

thepipetheyfoundgaddafiin :

thenarius :

galpalactic :

this thread has me in tears right now

We were driving to a restaurant and wanted to see how long the wait was. My dad handed me the phone book and asked me to look up the number. I, for whatever reason, thought he said “get rid of this”. So I opened the window and chucked the phone book while we were going 70 MPH down the highway.

great

I stuck my hand in a bowl of soup simply because I hadn’t before.

same

When I was maybe 10-12, I threw one of my dad’s golf clubs that had no head on it like a spear down the hallway after telling my brother it would be cool.

absolutely

One time I was eating a lemon poppyseed muffin. The phone rang, so I reacted by shoving the entire muffin my mouth and eating it as fast as I could, nearly choking to death, and I didn’t even make it to the phone before it stopped ringing.

huge mood

Gave my sister a piggyback when she was giving my other sister a piggyback at the same time

thank you for your service

ennobaka:

Shh they’re gonna hear you and turn it into rich people’s food

generalgrievousdatingsim:

i’m eating a slice of the cheesey garlic bread i bought from the aldi down the road and i can tell you with certainty that i feel happier right now than any billionaire ever will

generalgrievousdatingsim">generalgrievousdatingsim:

the last time people got guillotined it was over the price of bread so they can fucking try

ennobaka:

Shh they’re gonna hear you and turn it into rich people’s food

generalgrievousdatingsim:

i’m eating a slice of the cheesey garlic bread i bought from the aldi down the road and i can tell you with certainty that i feel happier right now than any billionaire ever will

generalgrievousdatingsim :

i just don’t understand why rich people force themselves to eat gross expensive food like caviar and salmon on crackers infused with gold dust or whatever as if eating a whole roll of garlic bread loaded with melted cheese isn’t the height of decadence and indulgence

enigmaticpink :

People on this site be like “uwu don’t hate on autistic people, just hate on people who are weird or have intense interests or who can’t tell a joke or who can’t understand social norms or who talk to much or to little or-”

magicalboye :

I just taught my dad what the word cishet was and he just walked down the stairs and said “cishet coming down”

gahdamnpunk :

Louder for the people in the back

aimasup :

kylehasburnt :

masochist-incarnate :

cis people: *get plastic surgery to look different*

cis people: *get surgery to enlarge their breasts*

cis people: *get surgery to enlarge their ass*

cis people: *get liposuction to make them skinnier*

trans people: hey could i get top surgery so i can be comfortable with my body?

cis people: BUT WHY?! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE, YOU DON’T NEED TO MUTILATE YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY! this is just a waste of money! You could regret this later on and feel like a stranger in your own body!

Cis people: *don’t like their names and change them sometimes*

Cis people: *go by their middle name*

Cis people: *go by a nickname*

Trans people: hey, could you call me [chosen name] so I can be comfortable?

Cis people: ???WHY? YPU WERE GIVEN A NAME AT BIRTH! YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY NAME!!! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT? It will confuse me so much! I’ll never get used to calling you that so I won’t even try. It’ll be a waste of money to change it

If you can decide to change your name to your favorite anime character I’m pretty sure you can handle your best bud deciding to go by John one day

strifesolution :

endermen in bed what shall he dream

hungwy :

dreams-squared :

hungwy :

Opens up the condom with my teeth but just starts eating it

hungwy i’ve been following you for a while but this might be it. 

So the post about wanting to fuck the starkist tuna wasn’t a problem for you

unclefather :

unclefather :

• told me a man in walmart that he was “not mcdonalds, just disgusting” because he was wearing a tshirt with the mcdonalds arches on it
• asked me very loudly in public if we could eat at texas roadhouse for dinner because she wanted to eat “peanus” 
• “when i’m a grown up i will never have to take naps. only die.” 
  
• she said she wanted an ipad and i said you have an ipad to which she replied “no. that is you pad”
• i wasn’t paying attention to her and she kept saying “mommy, can i do this? i want to watch muppet babies, can i do this?” and i finally looked over and she was trying to put a peanut butter sandwich into the vcr player 
• she said hell when she was singing good as hell by lizzo and i told her to watch her mouth and she replied “i can’t look at my mouth my god damn it eyes won’t move” 

tag yourself

unvisitableroom :

randomitemdrop :

Item: Mask of Smooching

what if in silence of the lambs they wheeled him out like this and everyone started laughing so hard and having such a good time trying to feed him french fries through the little hole they forgot about the kidnapping and she died

slugmunist :

dorsalvania :

kittyn :

Vanessa Stockard – Kevin series.

motherfucker-unlimited :

cerastes :

stinkyhat :

fam what the fuck

tommagram13 :

what year is this from? 2008?

mangabreadroll :

tflatte :

blackbanshee :

fearless-proud-andstrong :

ohhaiimelissa :

kristalbabich :

“It’s Been An Adventure, Mr. Fredricksen.”

“Adventure Is Out There!”

Someone asked me to post these two companion pieces together so it was easier to reblog them.

THIS WAS NOT OKAY

DUG

HE’S STILL WEARING THE ELLIE BADGE

I was just going to scroll past this when I REALISED what it was

indigo :

would anyone be interested in falling in love with me in 2020? just wondering

stalindefender :

which one of you orthodox fellas got a job at tesco?