// Tarnished //
» warnings: break ups (?), talk of drugs
» pairings: hanma & gn!reader
» genre: angst
» a/n: ohohohohoo ✨angst✨i wrote this at like 3am um,,,, yeah <3 also the italicized text indicates a flashback !!
You weren’t sure if Hanma was coming home this time. Especially not after the fight you two had.
“You’re always out doing god knows what, Shuji! You’re never fucking here, so of course I’m gonna be fucking pissed!” you bellowed, so loud that the few picture frames hung up on the wall seemed to have shook.
Hanma let out a bitter laugh, “Maybe I don’t want to be fucking home! Have ya ever thought of that? Maybe I don’t want to be around your sorry ass excuse of a lover!” You reeled back, hurt, but your blood continued to boil. “Sorry ass excuse, huh? Sorry fucking excuse? You’re one to talk, Hanma! You’re constantly getting yourself mixed into some stupid shit! Getting arrested, dealing drugs, running around with a gun in your hand. Get a real job, yeah? Maybe stop running around like you own shit when really you fucking don’t! The only way you get money is if you’re out on the streets dealing illegal drugs or holding people at gun point to get a quick buck!”
You should’ve known at that moment you had gone too far. You should’ve known that you really struck a nerve in your boyfriend’s body, but Hanma knew you were right. He just really wished you weren’t. You both knew that he wanted nothing more than to live a normal life with you. He wanted nothing more than to just be happy with you, no worries of someone from another gang trying to steal you away or take his life from you. He loved you. He loved you more than all the marijuana and crack cocaine he was dealt. He loved you more than the stacks of cash that lay hidden in a vault in your shared closet. He loved you more than anything he ever had, and he wanted just wanted to live a normal life with you but had no means of doing so.
Hanma’s record was tarnished, tarnished since he was a teenager, and there was no way of him wiping it clean.
He scoffed, turning away from you and heading towards the front door. “Want me to go find something better to do? Bet your ass I fucking will. I’ll find another bitch who’s actually worth something, and who knows? Maybe I’ll find a better fuck.”
You sat there, on the edge of your shared bed replaying the scene over and over through your mind. Regret, frustration, guilt, and hurt coursing through your entire being, welling up inside you from the very depths of your soul.
You just wanted him home. You wanted him, no matter how tarnished and tainted he was. No matter how many sins he acted upon and no matter how many times you knew he’d be punished for them, you wanted him. You wanted all of him.
— reblogs are appreciated <3