I can’t believe I felt it that strong. It was right before I fell asleep after a 4am day woke up at 2:30 it got stronger and stronger then faded it was gone I haven’t gotten it so strong in years a decade maybe more I could almost hold it. I saw a small stick out in front of me I envisioned it there was an accompanying evil texture that got harsher. It was surging, so fucking strong. It was thick in my brain. I remember trying to describe it to my parents at the dinner table I said it’s like something too big and too small at the same time and they just looked at each other and I think J gave a smirk I never knew why and I wish I had words for it but it’s like trying to describe the feeling of smelling or thinking there’s no words that work. I want to chase it I need to know what it is it’s so so bizarre and it’s been with me since at least 8 I remember pressing the short pencil between my thigh and my desk, I remember holding pencil lead and wood fragments between my fingertips. I want to know so bad. That was crazy I want it to happen again.