Wait when americans talk about doctors note for dick days its just for permission to take a day off without pay??? Oh my god my friends Im sorry
SICK DAYS OH MY GOD
Paid dick days without a doctor’s note WHEN
WARNING: This employer participates in Penis Friday
Imagine only learning about Harambe in 2020.
dicks out for harambe
Harambe got votes in the last election for God sakes.
Okay. But he wasn’t actually killed “for some reason” but because gorillas are immensely powerful and even if he had been completely friendly with the boy, he may have killed him simply because Harambe may not have know his own strength.
He was shot by a Zoo worker, not a cop. Nobody who had to make the decision to kill Harambe wanted to do so. They had to act fast, and killing him was the only viable option.
Also the Cincinnati Zoo is one of the best zoos in the country for both medical research (for animals) and general attraction. They have taken very good care of their animals—they actually recently saved a gorilla from a corporation who wanted to use him for money. So please don’t take this one action as representative of the whole organization.
But also, dicks out for harambe 😔✊
naughty leopard breads receive sexy punish naughty leopard breads misbehaving breads
naughty sexy leopard breads wiggle and slice misbehaving punish breads naughty leopard bread receive sexy retribution naughty leopard breads know what it has done naughty leopard breads atone for its sins naughty leopard bread accepts pain with the serenity of a Saint Sebastian naughty leopard bread forgives you
The guy behind the counter at the post office was just like, “can I getcha anything else? Stamps? Pint of blood?” And the ten seconds it took me to remember my mask has vampire teeth printed on it was the longest most bewildering moment of my year so far
Approximately 80 cows die with every glass of milk. This is how they do it:
They bring the cows out of their mean chambers and they punch and they punch and they punch and they punch and they punch!! They punch the cow!!! They do this to 80 cows and they die and you have a milk.
Is it worth it???
so sad 😔
Wait til you hear how many cows they punch for you to have one hamborgar
GOP claims that they’re in fear for their lives to vote to impeach trump because of threats from their base. They’re afraid of the same people they incite when it’s time to gas immigrants, bomb the Middle East, or deny healthcare to people. The GOP needs to be destroyed.
Tfw your parties domestic terrorism finally impacts you
I need physical affection, i want to establish that these are real clowns and that something Was nothing. memes just were. “Longcat is long.” an undeniably true, self-reflexive statement. water is wet, fire is hot, longcat is long. memes were simpler back then, in 2006. they stood for something. and that something Was nothing. memes just were. “Longcat is long.” an undeniably true, self-reflexive statement. water is wet, fire is hot,
terrifyingly coherent post
Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release
what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily
to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.
americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me
1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.
2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.
3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.
4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”
5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.
It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.
Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.
Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).
They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.
They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.
One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”
I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.
for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing
largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good
shoutout to the two “undercover cops” who were at my school to monitor the student body for a week, acting like “substitute assistants” and literally all of the kids immediately recognised them as cops and everyone would address them only as “officer” which annoyed the hell out of them because “we aren’t cops” like sir you literally have your badge in your back pocket and a taser what fucking substitute assistant would have an actual police badge and a whole ass taser??
also, note the small drink. They’re getting it specifically to blend in, and got the smallest size to save money, as they’re using their own for it.
iPhones, especially with black cases that clip onto a belt holder. If it’s a government issued phone, it’s an iPhone.