oh 24 hours of uninterrupted heartburn, that’s a new one
oh 24 hours of uninterrupted heartburn, that’s a new one
the indescribable feeling of finding out a year after the fact that someone you once knew and spent quite some time with in your teen years is dead.
Billie Joe Armstrong literally wrote a song about coming out as bisexual as a teenager, and then like two years later wrote one that was pretty much all about dressing up in drag and getting fucked by/fucking guys, and y'all STILL say he’s a “straight ally” because he married a woman??
The same goes for Freddy Mercury and David Bowie. Both were openly bi. Both wrote (multiple) songs about their queerness. Both are pigeonholed as either “gay” or “straight”. They were both neither of those things.
hey remember when freddy mercury wrote a literal song about wanting to be allowed to be bisexual without it being a big deal and was incredibly obvious about it and then straighties went “oh lol look at how quirky queen is writing a song all about bicycles!”
This also happened to p!nk, she’s openly bisexual but since she’s married to a man and has had two babies with him, people say that she’s straight.
Like, yeah she does a lot and shows a lot of support for the LGBT+ community but she isn’t just an ally, she’s part of that community.
Biphobia is completely real and so many Bi wlw and mlm are assigned the “straight” role when they just ARENT.
Also let’s add Lady Gaga to the mix. She’s repeatedly shit on for Born this Way for not being part of the community when she is, in fact, openly bisexual and writes song about being LGBT
[Image 1: the “It’s free real estate” guy with the altered caption “It’s Biphobia”
Image 2: a picture of Chris Fleming with the altered caption “Okay, was anybody going to tell me that ‘Bicycle Race’ was about being bi or was I just supposed to learn that from a post about Billie Joe Armstrong myself?” End ID.]
its baffling that bisexuality is considered ‘invisible’ when theres a whole pantheon of the most loud rhinestone bedazled spectacles of entertainment being openly vocal that theyre bi
its like a simpsons bit where everyone ignores the blinking neon sign
A note on the topic of trauma that I personally found helpful in accepting the idea that I am a trauma victim is that one of the most widely accepted facts in the field of trauma research is that abuse is often not the common factor in whether somebody will develop ptsd.
Many people can go through awful things without developing trauma based disorders as long as they receive compassion and support in processing those events as they happen. The most common factor in developing something like ptsd is emotional neglect. And emotional neglect on it’s own can be enough.
Whatever you went through was enough I promise, you’re not overreacting. Abuse and neglect are traumatic at any level, you don’t need to have gone through the worst possible experience you can think of to develop ptsd. If it hurt you then it hurt you.
And to support that, the number one determining factor on how badly something affects a person is how they’re treated afterward, not how objectively bad the event was. They’re called resiliency factors.
It looks like this:
Horrible brutal traumatic event + Family and community support + legal amelioration + closure and therapy and help
ONE MILLION TIMES MORE LIKELY TO RECOVER THAN
Event that the sufferer may think “seems minor” compared to what others have been through + Family neglect and abuse (you deserved it, name calling, support the abuser) + no legal means + denial and stifling and no therapeutic support
I have been raped, I have been abused by someone who was supposed to be family to me, and I have recovered and gotten my life back together. I have psychiatrists, psychologists, best friends, lovers, and family who support me. I did not get legal justice, but I got the person(s) out of my life.
My friend was repeatedly verbally abused by his step-parent, and when he was abused and hurt by others he was blamed for it by that parent. He had no support and no one to talk to about it for over 10 years.
He still feels guilty for even being affected by it and I’ve had long talks with him about how it isn’t “nothing compared to” what I went through.
You are not wrong to be upset. You are not wrong to feel the effects of trauma. Your hurt cannot be measured against anyone else’s. Your resiliency is your own and your situation is valid to you. Perception is everything. The worst thing that ever happened to you might ostensibly be less bad than the worst thing that ever happened to me - but it still is what happened to YOU.
Trauma is so predictable that we can make tidy little equations out of it. The ones above are good, but the ones I’ve seen are a little simpler. Something like:
Overwhelming Experience + Isolation + Shame = PTSD
Whoa. I am going to have to think about this for a bit–it would explain the HUGE difference in two post-trauma experiences I’ve had (one without support and one with.) Wow.
I Am Not A Writer, I say, as I smash out a rough draft of just under 2k words in 3 hours.
When the writing magic happens, it just happens. I do not control the write.
Small tip to help some of your blind friends: do not put 10,000 emojis in the middle of a text or a post if you continue to put text after the emojis because I will tell you that I will Straight give up if I have to listen to “face with tears of joy, face with tears of joy, face with tears of joy,” 23 times just to hear the rest of your text or post.
Oh my god, that’s what screen readers say when they read out emojis?? I didn’t realize.. I will change how I write my posts now… My bad…
This is good to know. Pretend there are twenty three light bulb emojis indicating sudden understanding following this text.
So the clap hands emoji post would be extra annoying since you can’t just speed read it, damn!
YES. That is one of my least favorite emojis because it’s LONG. It also says skin tone on some, and while that’s AWESOME, if you put 30 prayer hands, I have to hear “hands clasped in celebration with medium dark skin tone” 30 times in full. And even if I use a braille display, it still writes it out in full because there’s no real way to represent them any other way yet, so until someone invents a Braille display with like 10 lines that isn’t astronomically expensive, there’s no easy way to skip over them.
Now, at least with some screen readers, punctuation is a little different and if there are multiple of the same thing it’ll say like “17 exclamation points” instead of saying them all individually, and I wish that update would be made to screen readers to speak emojis in multiples that way… That would be a good solution.
Is it okay to use emojis sparingly? I don’t ever use a million like that, the most I’d put in a row is probably two different emojis, lol. But I do feel the need to use either emojis or ASCII faces in order to get emotion across in my writing. Which is better for you, a traditional ASCII face like :-) or a newfangled emoji like ☺️? Can your screen reader “translate” things like :-) into “smiling face” or do you just hear “colon dash right parentheses”?
Oh yeah, of course! If you only use one or two in a row that’s totally fine! Don’t feel like you have to just stop using them. They are fun and lots of people like them.
As for emoji versus traditional typed out faces, it doesn’t really matter. It can’t translate most of those faces except for a general smiley face, but I know what the symbols put together mean, though this may be difficult for somebody who is not very well versed in print reading. Most blind kids get taught to recognize both though.
There’s so much good info on this post! I didn’t know any of this. Thanks for making it!!
What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.
“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.
“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.
“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.
In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.
Everyone tagging this as “Don’t call people ‘queer’ if they aren’t comfortable with it”, I don’t disagree with you, but I do have one question for you:
Why are you singling out “queer”?
Hi, I’m queer and I don’t like being called gay. Why is it always “don’t call people 'queer’ if they don’t like it” but never “don’t call people 'gay’ if they don’t like it”? Or just “don’t call people words they are uncomfortable with”?
Why is it only ever “queer” that gets singled out?
And why do you even feel the need to tag that onto this post? All I said was “stop tagging people referring to themselves this way as if it were the same as bigots hurling it as a slur”.
it’s so nice being fond of people on here :-) like yeah maybe we only know each other in a very limited way but i care abt you guys & hearing abt your lives makes me happy & i like listening to the things u have to say & i really truly wish the best for you all!!! sending my love from a couple states, countries, oceans away
I just told someone they have to wear a face mask to come into the centre where I work and he said “what for” and I think I blacked out for a second
sir the pandemic