what if mario and garfield come out and chris pratt does a PERFECT spot-on impression for both of them. what would society do? would the italians finally accept him?
Garfield would become canonically Italian
it is a Scientifically Proven Fact that once a group of people become friends, the tendency to make really foolish decisions skyrockets…. and from this chaos…. the Mom Friend™ rises, ready to keep everyone alive, armed with exasperation and common sense in spades
one of my favorite things about fanfiction is how many writers don’t necessarily consider themselves fans of the original work. lots of writers just saw the movie or read the book and were like “that was unsatisfying but now I have yet another canon to fuck around with”
Some times fanfiction is a love letter to canon. Some times fanfiction is just a friendly banter with the canon. And sometimes, fanfiction is “11 things the canon did wrong” nailed on the church’s doors.
#fix it fics are no more than an itemized list of grievances
consider this: canon is a trashfire and i am going to make it worse.
i respect your energy
#those are called break it fics
hello tiny friends i keep in my pocket. tell me something I will find humorous but vaguely annoying
people have muscles behind their head that have the sole purpose to move the ears and it is complete evolutionary luck at this point if they work or not
oh I HATE this
you mean to tell me I’ve got an entire goddamn muscle group just sitting there FREELOADING???
I can’t wiggle my ears, but I CAN do that thing when you flex a muscle inside your ear and you can HEAR it flexing, like a rumbling sound. Looked it up, and apparently it’s the “tensor tympani”. muscle! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tensor_tympani_muscle#Voluntary_control I always kind of figured it was the muscle partially closing the ear canal, but apparently tensing your muscles makes a noise that’s 10-70 Hz!
Serious big dick energy
kinda cringe that he plans on staying there long enough that it’s worth decorating his cubicle like that
this just in: it’s cringe to have bills to pay and be in need of a stable job. more at 5.
Damn, cant believe its cringe to give yourself a happy place at work
Ok but we’re also ignoring the fact that this man’s coworkers were so supportive of this man making a Comfy Workplace that they posted about it and helped him hang the chandelier. I move a stapler two inches and get a passive aggressive email.
This is literally workplace goals.
“They’ll never find the body” is a boring threat. Threaten that they’ll never stop finding the body
They’ll be recovering pieces of you for at least three months. You will be alive for at least two of them.