Throw it over your shoulder and say “time to go, buddy” 😂
miHoYo…please, let me.
Wow, Sangonomiya Kokomi the master strategist sure didn’t do much strategizing during the war. And what little she did I wouldn’t call good…not even decent actually.
They literally intoduced her as the second player of this big chess game and she went from a strategist to a background character real quick :( I hope they don’t make stories ‘waifu’, Raiden in this case, based and actually use characters to their potential. I’m not dissapiomted since story writing-telling is hard but she was just hyped up for nothing in the stories
Genshin Impact isn’t made by a bunch of 15 year-olds in their basement.
miHoYo has the resources to hire someone at least competent at story writing.
So yes you should be disappointed. You should be very disappointed because this isn’t a case of ‘oh, she’s good but just didn’t have enough story presence to show it’. The story completely assassinated what Kokomi should have been, what we were told she is. She makes stupid decision after stupid decision.
We are TOLD she’s a brilliant war strategist and yet we are SHOWN she’s stupid and incompetent.
Be disappointed and complain or nothing will improve.
What the actual fuck is Floor 11!?!?
miHoYo really went:”Oh you hate Barbara and Qiqi and think they are useless? I’ll show you fucking useless.”
Can’t believe I’m saying this but bring back the cubes!
Kokomi to her people right after she manipulated Khaenri'ah into a rebbelion against Celestia so Baal would die so Ei would go mad and authoritarian so the Fatui would come to Inazuma and manipulate the Tenryou Commission and the Kanjou Commission into beginning the Vision Hunt so she could became the strategic genius of the Rebellion:
Wow, Sangonomiya Kokomi the master strategist sure didn’t do much strategizing during the war. And what little she did I wouldn’t call good…not even decent actually.
I have yet to witness something as fucked up as this
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ
This is an ace attorney trial
“Now comes the exquisite twist”
Here’s a transcription, as the text in the image is way too small:
Murder or Suicide?
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story.
On March 23, 1993 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.
He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
“Ordinarily,” Dr Mills continued, “A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide.” That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject “A: but kills subject “B” in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject “B.”
When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn’t actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist.
Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as suicide.
A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt.
Bizarre or what?
Dude holy HECK
I mean, talk about karma…
Id seen this before but i couldn’t read the picture so thank you for the transcript but also THE FUCK??
That is one hell of a convoluted way to die
So if he had lived… would he be convicted for attempted murder?
World Heritage Post
tempted to write a self insert BNHA fanfic just so I can complain about everyone’s costumes
“Young master Cale, what are you doing?”
“Stealing magic stones. Is something wrong?”
Rosalyn was at a loss for words seeing Young Master Silver Shield who was called a hero and a black Dragon who was great and mighty crouching down and stealing magic stones.
— Trash of the Count’s Family
Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:
- *People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.
- His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command
- Someone: *helps him*
Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had
- When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else
- “I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor
- Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,
- All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents
- His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard
- Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction
- This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’
- Cale: *smiles gently*
Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck
- ‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos
- “I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child.
“Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.
- [Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks
- Everyone: you’re a good person
Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day
- Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’
- Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon
- *to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young
*to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well
- His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???
- Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself
Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking
- Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power
- He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect
- *The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????
- Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead
- ‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’
I’m tired of all the Xinyan hate.
“Oh but her skill sucks because you need to hit three opponents at the same time to get the full effect.”
Oh no you have to use the absolute basic battle tactics instead of just mashing buttons like the god damn noob you truly are.
TL;DR: Hate the story, mixed on characters, love the design and tired of being treated like a 4-year-old with a learning disability.
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
Let’s start with what I like.
I’ll admit Inazuma hits a lot of aesthetic points for me. All the islands are different enough to feel unique but they still look like they are a part of the same land. There are a lot of secrets to discover through just exploring. Each island has a world quest to help it (make it less hostile towards you) so it very much feels like you are saving Inazuma from itself.
The puzzles are alright.
I like the cubes that rotate, I always put in the effort to figure them out properly.
Hate the ones that don’t rotate, they just aren’t engaging enough for me, so I just hit them at random and hope for the best.
The glowing floor tiles were fun, once you actually realized what they wanted you to do. A little bit too easy if I’m honest.
The electro compass isn’t really much of a puzzle, more of a fetch the nearest electrograna quest.
Those little pillars that require an electro connection are kinda boring to me, again not much of a puzzle, the hardest part is finding both pillars.
I love the new electro seelie, kinda hard to follow the jittery thing in certain parts but they make a nice contrast to the regular seelies.
I’m very much mixed on characters.
Yoimiya is adorable. She is so bright and bubbly. What little game play we had with her was fun and I love her over the top style of fighting. Kinda disappointed she’s another pyro archer but I do admit it fits her character well. It was also wonderful seeing her just settle down and be quiet, just be a part of that moment that obviously meant a lot to her. It’s always nice to see that bubbly, energetic character have that one quiet thing, ya know. Kinda funny it’s fireworks, of all things, for her.
Gorou I like, from what little we’ve seen of him. My man killed a dude with his thighs so I’m down. I do find it kinda ridiculous that a resistance general has his whole damn belly exposed. There is also something about his voice that just does not fit. I cannot for the life of me put my finger on what exactly it is. Could be the tone itself, could be just voice acting. It sort of feels like the VA is trying to sound deeper than he actually does.
Sangonomiya Kokomi, mixed. I like her design, she looks like some sort of mystical priestess. Again something about the voice is jarring. I expected her to sound sort of airy, like she isn’t 100% present, like she’s seeing something we can’t. TBH she reminds me of Luna from HP for some reason.
Yae Miko, I was interested because of her design. She sounds very arrogant and up her own ass, which would have been fine…if she hadn’t given us that god-awful line. “…I have high hopes for you, child. Don’t disappoint me.” Dear lord I wanted to punt her off the mountain. Or fucking what! Also she’s some bigshot priestess of the Sacred Sakura and yet she can’t do her damn job properly. Why couldn’t her arrogant ass come down from her high perch and cleanse the stupid roots? Why did the traveler have to do that shit?
Baal looks dead inside. Booba sword is overrated, get a life. I want a remach! And no cutscene
shenanigans this time!
Kujou Sara seems like one of those ‘honor above all else’ characters. Those are either hit or miss with me. You have my attention for now. Also what are those shoes woman?! I’d rather you wear those leg-killing, needle point stilettoes instead of those Wish gag shoes. How in the name of all that is holy can you run in those?!
Thoma, I like him. At first I thought we were gonna get another Childe incident, but Thoma is too much of a innocent puppy to pull anything that horrible. To me he fits a fox a lot better than Childe does. Childe is a dingo and I stand behind that.
Kamisato Ayaka…hate her. At first I was neutral on her. Nothing about her design really spoke to me, but I was willing to wait and see. But then miHoYo started to violently push her friendship at us.
We are totally friends now, this is the first time you see my face, but we are so totally friends now. And during her story quest everyone was like “Ah, you are so good Ayaka. You are so nice Ayaka. You are so perfect Ayaka. We all love you so much Ayaka. And oh, how could a mere merchant like myself…”
Ew, go away.
This is the first time I’m actively not pulling on a character banner. Normally I pull even if I’m not particularly interested in a character, because you never know how good their gameplay is until you take them out in the map. But I think I’ll be skipping this one. No thanks.
And now, the worst part, the story.
We’ve been hearing about the situation in Inazuma for a long time. There has been also a lot of talk about how hard it is to get there. About the wall of thunderclouds that surround the islands. So to have it cut to black and then voila Inazuma, feel just so cheap.
I was expecting something. An animation. A struggle. A quest. A minigame. At least show us the horrible weather! Something! Anything!
Hell if they wanted to be assholes about it they could have made it so that if the player fails at this point the ship is damaged, you return to Liyue and have to wait until tomorrow for the ship to be repaired. No Inazuma for today. That sure as hell would have raised the stakes.
The next complaint I have is with Yurika, the 2 milion mora processing fee girl. Later on Thoma mentions that the agency people see the fees as easy money, so her attitude doesn’t make much sense. After all someone like her would want to extract as much money as she can, but you still want the people to be able to pay that.
So it would make more sense to me if she was overly friendly and asked way too many questions. She’d need to get a much information as she can and after all the previous hostility people would be very open with her. So she’d be able to quickly find out why someone is here, what they are selling and roughly how much money they’d be able to pay. A merchant selling expensive silk would have more many than a regular ore merchant. So she’d be able to extract as much money as she could.
“I know this is a lot of money, especially for something so simple, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m so very sorry.” And people wouldn’t say anything bad to her because she’s the first friendly face they see in Inazuma.
The stealth mission was just god-awful and I hope we never have to do that nonsense again.
Getting off of Ritou was a bit janky at the end, Chisato should have had a better reason for coming along. But I’m honestly just glad we didn’t get out the usual way…getting stuffed in a crate and smuggled out.
As a side note, I’m getting really tired of characters overexplaining things to me, especially Paimon. Dear lord, not everything has to be said, you can leave me to come to my own conclusions and solutions. Just please, who cares if a few player struggle for a bit, you don’t have to hold my hand through the whole thing.
Ayaka’s three were…ugh. It was basic emotional manipulation. Oh no this guy forgot about the love of his life and he’s been waiting for decades. And oh how sad this guy was so good and he helped these people so much but now he can’t remember. And oh the tragedy this guy forgot his life goal and is now hunted by the demons of the past. Oh the humanity!
And it did not work. Know why? Because I have no emotional investment in any of these people, in this land. What is happening to the vision bearers in Inazuma is tragic, true, but that doesn’t make me want to overthrow the government. I don’t live here. I just got here. I wanna ask a question or two and then move on. None of this concerns me.
I was so happy when the traveler just flat out refused to start a revolution. And then we had to go and meet some people and immediately I knew this was going to be some oh noes the tragedy moments and then we would agree to help them.
It’s so forced.
Wanna know what would have been better?
Just as we are leaving the Kamisato estate Thoma catches up with us. And he tells us he gets it. We are an outsider and this doesn’t concern us. He was hopeful but he expected the denial. We shouldn’t hold it against Ayaka.
He joins us as a guide because he knows of the people we have to meet.
And so as we help these three we also get to know Thoma. We find out he was an outsider too. He got in just before the worst of it started and then he was stuck in Inazuma. He lost someone to the Vision Hunt. They slowly lost their mind after loosing their vision, their ambition too closely tied to their personality to continue without it (what is happening to Domon hits a little too close to home and he has to walk away, this is where we hear the story of the one he lost). And the same would have happened to him if the Kamisatos hadn’t taken him in. He owes them his vision, his sanity and his life.
So this rebellion is personal for him.
At the end of the three wishes the atmosphere is somber. We tell him we understand why Ayaka fights, why he fights. We know that this is all wrong, that it should be stopped…but not by us. We came here to get a lead on our brother. And rebellion isn’t an overnight affaire and we can’t loose so much time in Inazuma.
And yeah, he expected as much. He just asks that we let Ayaka down gently. It’d be a shame if someone as idealistic and hopeful as her lost their spark.
And so we are gentle but firm with Ayaka. She looks like she wants to argue with us but Thoma shakes his head at her. So she sighs and tells us that a promise is a promise. We should come to the Komore Teahouse in a few days and she’ll have a plan for us to meet with the Shogun.
Now we can still have a character story quest with Yoimiya and we can still somehow get involved with helping Master Masakatsu, but it’s through Yoimiya instead of Ayaka.
And instead of a character story quest with Ayaka we have one with Thoma. Hell, give him a whole damn hangout event even.
You can probably guess why I’m pushing the friendship with Thoma so much.
Because. He. Gets. Kidnapped. For. The. 100th. Vision. Ceremony.
And that would have been the perfect emotional in to get us involved in the rebellion. After all we just saw what happens to people who have their visions taken away and we are not letting that happen to Thoma, someone we just got close to.
So Baal makes it personal for us as well.
I have a few more minor complaints.
Aoi is stupid for asking for compensation after she tells us everything we needed to know because, ya know, we could have just walked away. We should have.
The whole stupid misunderstanding about the value Kurosawa’s sword holds. Kinda obvious he meant emotional value instead of monetary.
The suspicious amount of visionless NPCs and by that I mean this is the first time we have NPCs with vision. This wouldn’t have been a problem if we’ve seen NPCs with visions in Mond and Liyue.
The whole rebellion camp bit feels incredibly rushed. We just sort of lollygag over there and then there is a fight (against Sara and her stupid shoes).
Don’t make us fight Baal just to force us to lose. It would have been better if we were forced to retreat, because Thoma was injured, because there are too many soldiers for us to handle on our own. Hell, you can have a funny scene where we straight up jump off a cliff with Thoma clinging onto us and screaming bloody murder until he realizes we are slowly gliding away and he’s not about to plummet to his death.
The Sakura cleansing quest should have been voice acted.
The Mirror Maiden and Pyro Agent are totally on a date, I will not be told otherwise.
Take at Narukami Shrine, you can just barely see the glowing pillar on Dragonspine.