Sometimes a found family can be whatever the fuck ace attorney has going on
the first time i played ace attorney i was so hyped and confident like oh i’m gonna nail this so good i love murder mysteries and then when the first trial started and the first ever question was ‘what is the name of the defendant’ i laughed out like like lol this is even easier than i though. a child’s play. i got this. what a pathetic question. but because english isn’t my first language and i’m still unfamiliar with many words, i assumed defendant=person who defends and with 100% confidence i selected ‘phoenix wright’ as an answer and everyone was like. phoenix you fucking dumbass loser you’re a disappointment to the legal system you shit for brains. and my self confidence has never recovered since
I know we don’t actually know what goes on in the prosecutors’ office, but I feel like it might be even weirder than Phoenix’s ragtag group of orphans.
Like, Klavier Gavin is over there with his office that has guitars for wallpaper and I’m pretty sure his desk is just a big speaker??? Simon Blackquill has a hawk. I firmly believe that Taka is a beloved member of the office. The Paynes are over there in the corner being the worst lawyers ever. Edgeworth is doing whatever he does, I’m assuming leaving to Europe everytime he gets upset by something.
So many of the prosecutors speak German. I’m like eighty percent sure Blackquill speaks German. Edgeworth definitely speaks German. Gavin surely speaks German. Do you think they talk in German a lot? Like, they have some conversations purely in German and everyone is like, “Wow, a secret conversation, I wonder what secrets they are saying.” but it’s just Edgeworth being like “I swear to God, if Wright cross-examines one more parrot, I’m faking my death again.” and Gavin and Blackquill are like “Again???”
I like to think that, at least once, someone has burst into Edgeworth’s office and demanded he get that feral beast out of the office. And Edgeworth is like, “I can’t get rid of Taka, they’re my favourite employee.” And whoever burst in is like, “No, I was talking about Blackquill.”
I want to know the shenanigans they get up to. Do you think they’re buddies? Do you think after any cases with Phoenix or any of his associates involved they go out and get wasted because “what even happened yesterday?” “Why don’t witnesses ever state their name and occupation when I ask them to?” “Do you think I can get away with throwing coffe at someone, Godot-style?”
I have so many questions…
ace attorney is legitimately one of the funniest series out there. first game you go in fine. trial one everythings normal its exactly what you expect from a lawyer game. second trial not only does your mentor get killed but her little sister confirms that psychic powers do in fact exist and it is played completely straight for the rest of the series. fantastic.
im worried that people who consume phoenix wright content without playing the games might not know that phoenix wright is a huge bitch. like in the courtroom chapters he’s up against miles edgeworth who is the Queen Bitch so he comes off like a himbo. but half the game is you walking this man around investigating he’s just making snippy little comments about everyone and he doesn’t always verbalize them but it’s like a good quarter of the experience and that’s Why it’s so fun to watch him go up against miles edgeworth who is probably the only person who knows he’s such a bitch and he puts on a smug smile n goes “ohh no don’t be mean to me edgeworth im a little birthday boy!!” and dumbs his way into winning the case. insane. incredible
YO HOW THE F U C K DID THIS HAPPEN THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!!!
i know this is an aa blog but please please please listen to red (taylor’s version) because it’s the best thing to happen to music in years
godot from ace attorney is unfuckable! what the fuck do you think this is? x-men? tron?? take the visor off idiot you’re scaring the hoes
i’ve been informed he is blind sorry sir you can keep the visor on. the hoes love you
just been informed you hate women. the hoes hate you for unrelated reasons to the visor
alright i was informed that you don’t actually hate women it was a mistranslation. the hoes have complicated feelings towards you
i made this instead of sleeping