rapper hc part 1
hi guys!!! so i’ve had this idea in my head forever and just didn’t have anyone to share it with but i told hedy about it yesterday and she scammed me into creating tumblr acc and sharing it here lol but when i went to write it down i realized that i have a lot more to share so it’s gonna be just the 1st part for now, which was the only thing i had in my mind originally but now i’m working on expanding it.
i have a lot of ideas from the songs and this is no exception. this time the inspiration was NF - an amazing rapper and song writer. his songs uncover so much trauma and the things he raps and sings about are so real for a lot of us that you can’t help relating to them. NF’s real name is Nathan which also played part in this idea. lyrics of the songs are what the hc is based on so please listen to the songs i mention and pay attention to the lyrics.
ok i don’t wanna waste more of your time bc the hc is big as it is so without further ado let’s dive into it. p.s. it’s the first time i do a thing like that so im sorry in advance for any inconsistencies or the general drama:)))
TW!! (everything is just mentioned, nothing too graphic) physical abuse, verbal/emotional
abuse, alcohol, drinking, drug addiction, overdose, death from
torture (beating, skin
burning, cuts – all of it not descriptive),
violence, breaking one’s own bones, putting
bastards to prison.
also NF’s lyrics got a lot of triggers and cover very serious
issues so if you decide
to listen to some more of his music be
careful with that. some
of the things
mentioned in the songs i’ve used here: depression, grave digging,
guns, blood (in a non-violent way).
he grew up in an abusive family. his father was drinking a lot and
abused him physically and verbally saying that he was nothing and
nobody and would not amount to anything in his life. he despised
neil’s love for music and laughed at him. he also hit him more when
he noticed anything related to neil’s passion (neil humming some
melody or listening to music in his headphones or trying to create
smth). his mother tried to protect him but she couldn’t do much bc
of her drug addiction. she overdosed during
his last year in hs and surprisingly left him some
money. when Nathan found out about that he was enraged and beat the
shit out of neil so he would give him that money.
to run away from his father
goes to university to study his passion – music. he’s always had
some kind of knack
for creating music and rapping
and now he could
explore it more and not be afraid of nathan. he tries to overcome his
trauma and even makes some friends (the foxes).
the freshman year andrew and neil spend
a lot of time together. they find
the reflections of their hurt in each other and they find
understanding. they share some of their past and their traumas; their
view of the world and their dreams. andrew feels
like he is
falling because he’s
never met anyone like
neil. slowly there are
soft touches and furtive glances but neither is ready yet to cross that
seemingly gets better even though there are a lot of hard moments on
the way. however
at the end of his freshman year nathan finds him and he and his
cronies kidnap and beat neil
for Mary’s money keeping
him in the basement for
several days. this
money is all neil’s got to survive and build his life so he doesn’t
say anything and thinks of the ways to run.
im not good with making up torture techniques and nathan is not so
imaginative here but they still leave neil with scars on his face,
his torso and hands (mostly
burns from cigarettes,
iron, cuts from glass bottles).
by the end of the third
day neil is physically
and morally exhausted so he gives
up and transfers all
the money to them (he’s got a little of it left on his other acc)
and they drunk on their win leave him in the basement. he breaks his
fingers to get out of the handcuffs and gets out through
the small basement window and runs outside. not long after that he
collapses from all the exhaustion and blood loss and someone notices
him. they call the cops and the ambulance. after
that nathan and his
cronies are put
into prison and neil is
left with almost no money.
the state and a year
later with a lot of
effort, practicing and self-advertising he successfully signs with a
music label under
the name N/A.
tilda didn’t give him up but was a shitty mother (obv) with
drug addiction. andrew and aaron’s parents were divorced and their
father didn’t live with them but tried to be there when he could.
andrew started creating music as an outlet bc tilda’s boyfriends
were physically abusing him and he tried to protect aaron from that.
he and aaron were close bc they only had each other but andrew still
didn’t share his trauma with aaron trying to protect him from that
hell. of course he was only a child and couldn’t always take
aaron’s place in beating but most of it lay on him. while at hs
they became a band with the help of nicky and performed with their
songs were they could and tried to self-advertise and wymack (he’s
the head of the music dep at uni and also one of the profs) noticed
them and offered them partial scholarships. they had some money left
after tilda’s overdose (they lived for some time with their father
after her death) so they went to get actual education on music
production (at this point I don’t care how plausible it sounds,
just don’t think too much about it ok lol)
so nathaniel once went to uni with the foxes (is there such a major
as music production and singing or smth?) but at the end of his
freshman year he disappeared. he was not very sociable so no one
really cared where’d he go except for the foxes with whom he became
somewhat friends. 1-2 years later he pops up as a new young and very
talented rapper named N/A and he’s got burn
scars all over his face
and hands which he doesn’t hide so very intriguing right??? nobody
knows much about him and that his name stands for Neil Abram so they
take it literally as ‘no data available’ or smth (hedy also
proposed “not applicable”!). foxes are like WTF we know that
guy!! and wymack is also like isn’t that nathaniel??
become a huge fan of
neil’s music. only renee knows that andrew’s been listening to
neil’s songs non stop bc he can relate so hard to them and they
just hit him right where it hurts. at the end of their last year they
have like a huge final concert or smth and wymack organizes it to be
held in one of the palmetto clubs. at the same time neil is coming
back to Palmetto bc he is
nostalgic of the time he spent in the uni with the foxes and
he wants to escape his real life for a moment.
to visit the city and reminisce and he believes
that none of the foxes really remembers
him bc he was a nobody. I know the plot is getting ridiculous but
bear with me
it’s the evening of the gig and the students perform their music
(songs, instrumentals, as solos/duets/bands etc). andrew majorly
produces rap songs at
this point and
he performs in duet with renee with their song (NF’s “Can you
hold me”). everyone is like shit it was so good but then andrew
performs his solo song (NF’s “How could you leave us”). aaron
is standing there and is a fucking mess bc he never knew andrew was
that affected by their past and
their mother’s death bc
he never showed it and didn’t ever want to talk about his
issues. (be warned this is a heart-wrenching song and it fits fucking
perfectly). after that andrew almost runs outside for a smoke, trying
to light a cigarette with his shaking fingers and thats when he sees
a strange all covered up figure in a black hoodie entering the club
but also cautiously looking over their shoulder like they don’t
want to be caught. andrew ever the protective one follows him but
loses in the crowd of the low lit club. 10 mins later there is quiet
and the figure goes on stage – obv
neil. “Intro III” starts playing.
is in awe and he’s never heard this song before so it must be new.
he also never saw neil perform live so he cant really move bc the
performance is so powerful and magnetic. *neils sitting on one of the
disconnected amplifiers in the dark and the music starts building up.
At 2:00 of the song after the words “I mean, what are you, outta
your mind? ‘Cause both of us will be, come on, let’s go outside!”
he pulls off his hood, his movements are fierce and aggressive and
he’s almost screaming in the mic. at words “You had me scared for
a second, I thought we were diggin’ my grave” theres his fathers
smile, vicious, crazy and cruel
how he remembered it spending 3 days in that basement.
(fyi in the song NF’s talking to his fear and they go back and
andrew is mesmerized, the foxes are in shock, the whole
not understand who that is but they
with open mouths.
the song ends and the crowd goes wild. that’s
when neil starts talking.
palmetto. this is a great concert you got and some of you guys are
fucking talented. my name is neil and I used to go to PSU a long time
ago so you prolly don’t know me but professor wymack out there let
me come here on
this stage and
of my songs for you. one
of them is
another is new
but they both
and I hope you like’em”.
cheer and applaud and
a moment another song starts playing. its
the one andrew knows (it’s Paralyzed). the atmosphere gets way
calmer but everyone is just as hypnotized. during the chorus neil is
standing under the dim lights, head turned up facing the ceiling,
eyes closed, his scars are illuminated. he looks almost peaceful but
there’s pain and apathy showing on his face and in his posture.
and neil leaves the stage. andrew cant make his legs move but he has
to meet neil (he just realized that neil’s shared his name with
them and it wasn’t “nathaniel” and andrew’s got so many
forces himself to move and almost runs backstage. neil is already
leaving but andrew stops him by grabbing him by his arm. they stand
there looking at each other, andrew panting,
his body shaking a little,
he whispers obviously
surprised by seeing Andrew here.
Neil.” suddenly Andrew
question. he’s got so many that it feels like a waste of
time to ask them one
looks down at where Andrew
is still grabbing
lets go off him
like its burnt him. “You
are here” he lets out on the exhale like he still can’t believe
averts his eyes and puts the hood of his sweater
on his head so that the shadows obscure half of his face. “Yeah”
he replies and after a few seconds follows with hesitant “How are
you?” It is a stupid question, Andrew thinks but he answers
nonetheless with simple fine.
Neil holds his head low, and Andrew can’t help but wonder if Neil
doesn’t wanna look him in the eyes after his disappearance so many
years ago or if he simply doesn’t want to see Andrew’s face. Both
options hurt him but he doesn’t have the heart to ask.
the end of part 1. come yell at me on twt or here hihi