guys lol. I’ve been doing like…. observationably well… like well in passing…. but I feel like inside of me smth rlly dark and rlly bad is building and I have just been sick and nauseous for over a week and I just have so much self loathing at every second of my day. like I feel like I’m gonna explode physically. I got so much hate hate hate and it’s all directed at me.
god himself nerfed my nipples
I’m too sentimental for my own good. I’ll see a pigeon w mangled feet (aka 80% of em) and have to stop myself from having a crying fit
anyone else think it’s like, adorable and soul fulfilling that for thousand of years, humans have been creating art like music and stories and paintings and the likes about love and we still do? like I can read a play about two lovers from 2500 years ago and I can relate to it in the same way some sumerian teenager from mesopotamia might have related to a hozier song. just absolutely heart warming.
i’m 12 years old i’m 64 i’m over caffeinated im day drinking i’m taking two ibuprofen i’m on the brink of tears i’m staring into space i’m having a breakdown i’m mentally ill im doing pretty well actually! i’m the main character i’m a vermeer painting i’m a haunted doll
u know it sucks when ur situation is just a lil bit shitty and u know u can’t ‘escape’ it bc ur escape mechanisms would just make the situation worse? and so u just sit like :[
today is the bleakest, dreariest most awful shitty day it has rained non stop I’m stuck inside and I feel so mentally exhausted
anyway… we are p much done anyway and that’s that on that. I’m not even feeling that frustrated anymore
I was supposed to see him tonight but he just cancelled 1hr before bc he “"just found out”“ he’s gotta leave for France tomorrow morning and start moving… OK lol.
AND JUST TO BE CLEAR THIS WAS HIM CLEARLY BEING AWARE OF HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO SHOW UP TODAY BUT AVOIDING TELLING ME STRAIGHT