Don’t know how long it’s gonna take to feel okay…
But I know I had the best day with you today 🐢 (at Jakkalsfontein, West Coast)
Don’t know how long it’s gonna take to feel okay…
But I know I had the best day with you today 🐢 (at Jakkalsfontein, West Coast)
Don’t know how long it’s gonna take to feel okay…
But I know I had the best day with you today 🐢 (at Jakkalsfontein, West Coast)
We’ve all heard this before ‘I’m cleaning all the time, I’m so OCD’ or 'That thing being out of place bothers me, I’m so OCD’. There are several things wrong with these statements. First, OCD is so much more than cleaning and tidying things. Second Obsessive-compulsive disorder is not who you are (it can feel like this though), it’s something you have, there is so much more that shapes you. Also, these statements are incredibly insensitive.
OCD turns your life upside down and people are tired of hearing these insensitive statements. OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by uncontrollable, unwanted thoughts and ritualized, repetitive behaviours you feel compelled to perform. There are several forms of OCD like:
➕Fear of germs and contaminating yourself and others, to cope with this fear you try to stay clean by washing and showering a lot and avoiding touching things that might be contaminated.
➕Checking things because you are afraid that you or a loved one will be harmed or in danger if you don’t. This can result in checking if you closed the door over and over or making sure you didn’t leave the oven on.
➕Fear of not doing something the right way, or thinking things you shouldn’t think that result in trying to be perfect and making away thoughts that you think could harm you or someone else.
➕An obsession with symmetry, numbers, arrangements, or something else. Often accompanied by superstition and fear that something bad will happen if things aren’t right.
➕Hoarding - Not throwing things away, and buying things because it might be useful in the future, this can give a feeling of safety.
I’ve tried to break this down as simple as possible, but in reality, OCD is a very complicated disorder and there can be an overlap in different kinds of obsessive behaviour or overlap with different mental disorders.
Filter out the sounds, slow my heart break down… 🌺 (at Cape Town Southern Suburbs, Cape Town)
You either love Friends, or you love to hate Friends. The sitcom ran for 236 episodes over ten seasons, and still is one of the most influential television shows for American culture.
What made Friends so significant, however, are the actual friendships that make up the show. The one that has always stood out the most to me is between Rachel Green and Monica Gellar, played by Jennifer Anniston and Courtney Cox, respectively. What made their friendship so compelling is their loyalty, perseverance, and love for one another, so here are six times Monica and Rachel were #friendship goals.
Monica takes Rachel in after she runs away from her wedding, and the two become support systems for one another. Rachel teaches Monica to loosen up, while Monica teaches Rachel how to adjust to support herself, empowering each other along the way to become better friends and better people.
Monica and Rachel are always there for one another, through thick and thin. That includes when Rachel has to put in eyedrops. Like a true friend, Monica does all she can in order to help out, even if that means tackling Rachel to the ground. While not particularly fun, she’s there to make sure at the end of the day that Rachel is able to be her best self.
Sometimes you have to give something up to let your friend succeed, and that is what Monica and Rachel do for one another constantly. Monica has had the names of her future children picked out since she was 14, but when it came down to it, she let Rachel name her daughter Emma. While it may have hurt a bit at the time, in the end, Monica knows that it was the right choice because they’re best friends.
Everyone has that one friendship where they can act like complete fools with one another. This twosome, alongside Phoebe, rent wedding gowns just to drink beer and watch television in their apartment. Was this a wise decision? Probably not, but it’s something that they’re able to do as friends and enjoy the moment.
Both Rachel and Monica make sure to support one another’s careers and relationships, so when Rachel plans to move to Paris to advance her career, she makes sure to let Monica know how much of an impact she’s had on her life.
Sure, Monica and Rachel have had some epic fights, including ones where they chased each other around the apartment, screamed, and acted ridiculously, but at the end of the day they were each other’s best friend, and never let a little fight affect that. When Rachel feels left out from Monica’s friendship with Julie, she’s reminded that no matter what, Monica is always going to be there for her.
It’s no secret that many of us are struggling with uncertainty, unhappiness, or unrest right now.
Many of us have had to put personal plans on hold, adjust to a new working routine, or even adjust to being without employment. We can’t go out to our favourite restaurants, blow off steam with a day out and about, or even be sure of our future plans. We’re unable to visit loved ones or hang out with friends.
We might have taken them for granted before, but those activities, routines, and relationships make a substantial difference to our mental health. Plus, the current news cycle isn’t exactly heartwarming—which doesn’t help whatsoever.
Fortunately, we can stay uplifted by taking time to care for ourselves. Here’s a look at how to manage self-care for better mental health during coronavirus.
WE CAN THRIVE, EVEN WHEN WE’RE APART
Before you browse any suggestions, it’s essential to remember that you’re not alone. This sentiment may seem overly cheesy or even untrue, but it’s not! Almost everyone has endured anxiety or fear because of this situation. Although these experiences aren’t easy, we can work together to overcome them. If you already grapple with mental health issues, several resources can help.
Here are a few ideas on how to take care of your mental health through COVID-19.
1. AVOID NEGATIVE NEWS
While it’s essential to stay informed, negative news can cause a lot of problems. Do your best to stay away from social media and news articles as much as possible. If you can’t refrain, turn off any notifications you receive instead.
Feel free to keep updated with local and state mandates, but try not to go overboard. Allow yourself to check for essential news once a day for a specific amount of time—like 10 minutes in the morning—and then keep your distance.
2. ESTABLISH A SLEEP PATTERN
If you transitioned to remote work or school from a more active physical routine, your circadian rhythm likely took a hit. When there’s no reason to leave home or keep schedules, we can fall asleep at midnight and wake up at 1 p.m. without any repercussions—right? Wrong. Actually, sleep deprivation poorly affects mental health, so it’s necessary to figure out a better sleep pattern.
It’s best to start out slowly. Many mental health issues impact our ability to fall asleep soundly, so don’t feel discouraged if you can’t adapt immediately. Every day, try to make small adjustments. Try taking a bath, trying a guided meditation, drinking some warm tea, or following another relaxing routine to get your body primed to wind down.
3. SPEND SOME TIME OUTDOORS
Just like irregular sleep patterns, spending too much time cooped up indoors can have a negative impact on your state of mind.
Depending on whether you live in the city, the country or the suburbs, you might be used to a more fast-paced or peaceful lifestyle—but no matter where you are, you can make time to breathe some fresh air. Take an hour or two to take a socially distant walk around your neighbourhood, do some gardening in your front yard, or escape onto your balcony. Quiet your thoughts, smell the changing season, and listen to the sounds around you. A little sunlight and the smell of spring can do wonders for your mood.
4. MAKE TIME FOR VIRTUAL HANGS
Close interactions can’t happen at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your friends and family. The 21st century has blessed us with technology, so there’s a ton of ways to stay connected. Whether you want to say hello to your grandma before bed or eat dinner with your long-distance partner, it’s possible! Ask everyone to download the same platform so that you don’t encounter difficulties.
Then, schedule a time to talk and laugh every week. You could put together a virtual dinner party or host an online board game competition. Either way, you can forget about your anxiety and stress for an hour or two. As long as we continue to communicate, we’ll make it through this time.
5. CONSULT ONLINE RESOURCES
Sometimes, it’s okay to realise when we need a little more help managing our mental health. You may not be able to visit your therapist, but you can consult different online resources—such as the crisis text line, teletherapy apps like Talkspace, and social media support groups. You could reach out to a trusted friend, too, but it’s essential to talk with an expert if you want to address deeper problems.
Don’t feel ashamed to take advantage of these kinds of tools. They’re there for you to use! Right now, we can all use a little help. Try not to push away your emotions, either. It’s important to share whatever’s on your mind so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
USE THESE IDEAS FOR SELF-CARE DURING CORONAVIRUS
When it comes to taking care of your mental health, little things like staying connected, quieting negative thoughts, and establishing a sleep routine can go a long way—and taking time to talk through your emotions is often helpful. Remember to make room for your mental health this May—and always.
I only keep myself this sick in the head ‘cause I know how the words get you…. 💊
I’m just casually listening to ALL of Fall Out Boy’s albums
I remember being supremely embarrassed to talk to my doctor about my anxiety a few years ago. This was a time when I had no idea that I was about to find out I was Bipolar. It seemed like everyone was complaining about being “anxious,” and I didn’t want it to seem like I was claiming I had a mental illness for attention.
Turns out, I was suffering from anxiety. My mind races, my heart races, I feel as though I am in a constant state of worry, and I find it hard to focus on anything as my brain spirals to an immediate worst-case scenario. My doctor informed me that not only is it OK to ask her about my symptoms, but that due to the more fast-paced lifestyle we are living in, anxiety has been on the rise fo years now. If you feel like you might have anxiety, it is OK to seek help — you’re definitely not alone.
Once you’ve realised that your diagnosed anxiety disorder is not how you need to live, it’s time to work on ways to manage it. There are quick exercises that you can do before or during an anxiety attack to help assuage your symptoms and make you feel a little more like a human again.
If you are at a loss with how to cope when your anxiety acts up, try these exercises to regain control.
Every time you feel your anxiety symptoms, take note of what triggered it. In the future, you can take steps to avoid these triggers or be aware that one is coming up so you’re prepared to deal with it. Having a sense of control can make your anxiety less scary — you’re the boss of your anxiety, anxiety is not the boss of you!
When I feel anxiety creeping up on me, I pause. I take a few deep breaths, remind myself that my anxiety is only thoughts, and take a moment of quiet solitude to keep from spiralling out of control. This is something completely silent and personal that I can do if I feel myself getting overwhelmed in a meeting or out in public.
You can create an anxiety exercise like this one that works for you, though it may take a little trial and error. Maybe a few sips of cool water or excusing yourself to take a walk around the block outside helps you. Once you find a plan that works, stick to it whenever you feel anxious.
This for me, is an extremely important step. Sometimes anxious thoughts are louder than our internal voice of reason. It’s helpful to have someone that understands your anxiety, like your best friend, significant other, or your therapist. When you’re feeling out of control and need some help, send them a text that says “Hey, I’m feeling a little anxious right now, can you remind me that everything is going to be OK?” Hearing that everything is alright from another person can help bring you back to reality and quiet the anxiety monster.
When we’re anxious, we tend to build up tension in our bodies. You may have tight shoulders, or be a jaw-clencher like me. Take a moment to relax each muscle and shake out any tension. A physical release can often lead to a mental one — the simple act of relaxing can help tame your anxiety.
Need help on releasing that tension? My aunt taught me this breathing exercise not too long ago, and it’s been working really well for me during lockdown.
I hope into bed, and lay flat on my back. I take a few deep breaths to try and relax my body. Next slowly inhale for a count of 10 seconds and then exhale slowly for 10 seconds. Repeat twice so that you are taking 3 breaths per minute. Trying doing it for 5 minutes, and then build up each day if you can. Right now I do it for about 10 minutes every day, but you can it for as long as you need to. After practicing this for a few days I immediately felt release in my jaw and shoulders.
Of course, I’m not a medical professional. These tools help me, but they may not work for everyone. Talk to your doctor to see if a prescription medication can help you get in control of your anxiety alongside these coping exercises.
Stay safe, and remember to be gentle with yourself
I didn’t mean to write a song about you…
But a couple shots and all the words pour out 🥃
✨ some important reminders we all deserve to hear right now ✨
• your emotions are valid
• your physical & mental health are more important than work!
• your productivity doesn’t define you or your worth
• this is going to be hard, and that’s okay
There are a few people I know who need to hear this song. It’s an oldie, but on my most difficult days, I go back and listen to this song.
It reminds me of where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going.
Well, it seems like we might be self-isolating and social distancing for a little while longer than expected. Because of this, it might seem like you’ve already done all of the activities that you could possibly think of to keep yourself busy while staying at home.
Although it’s important to try to stay positive, it’s also easy to get bored, it’s easy to get frustrated, it’s easy to feel lonely, and it’s easy to feel upset—all of these things are normal, justifiable, and probably being felt by a lot of other people. I know that I get easily overwhelmed and anxious, and I turn to some sort of mental stimulation to get my mind off of things. And by the way, it’s also totally OK if you just feel like just watching Netflix on the couch.
If you feel the same way that I do however, you’re in luck, because I’m not out of activity ideas just yet. Here are some activities to do at home, that you haven’t thought of yet:
Think back to childhood (and beyond) and all of the things that you used to enjoy doing in your free time. Was it crafting, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, knitting, playing video games, writing poetry, or making jewellery? Whatever your favourite old pastime might be, now’s the time to get back into it.
Take self care a step further than an in-depth skincare routine by giving yourself an at-home mani-pedi. Give yourself an extensive mani-pedi—complete with soaking, filing and buffing, your best scrub or lotion, and of course, nail polish. Wearing your favourite face mask while you do it doesn’t hurt either.
On your computer, back up your files to an external hard drive, clear out unwanted files, and organise all your folders (pro tip: clear out your downloads folder of everything you don’t need!). On your phone, organise your apps and delete unused ones, delete extra photos in your camera roll, and make sure all of the photos you do want are backed up. It’s also a perfect time to go through your email inbox and unsubscribe from email lists you don’t want to be on anymore.
I’m a huge believer that if you’re watching something that is based off of a book, you should read the book too! It’s so much fun to compare the two and have more background knowledge going into watching the movie or series.
Try your hand at a puzzle, a game of Sudoku, a few crosswords. If you want something even more relaxing, pull out your old coloured pencils and colouring book for an afternoon of good old-fashioned colouring. Don’t have a colouring book? Find thousands of free printable colouring sheets on sites like this one.
If you’re always wishing for the perfect playlist for each activity in your life, but never have time to curate them to your standards, what better time than now to play DJ? Take to your Spotify account and make playlists ’til your heart’s content. Some great ones to have on hand for the future: workout, dance party, working/focus, driving, and all-time faves, just to name a few.
Always wanted to have a marathon of all of the movies in that one series but never had the time? Now’s your chance! Some of my personal favourite recommendations for series to watch are: Twilight, The Hunger Games, Divergent, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean and Fast & Furious (yep, you read that right). Of course, there are a whole bunch more, like The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, or any superhero franchise … I could really go on forever. Fair warning: you might need a whole weekend (or week) to watch some of these.
It never hurts to dream of the things we can’t wait to do when we resume life as normal. Write down all of the activities you want to make sure you do as soon as you can, whether it be to visit a museum, picnic in the park, plan a trip, or even just hug your friends. Reflect on the new perspective that can be gained from this experience, and remind yourself to not take the little things for granted.
Let me first say that the irony here is not lost on me: I am writing a blog post about why it’s okay not to be writing stories, or making art, or brainstorming business ideas, or doing anything at all that requires brainpower and creativity right now. I believe this, and yet, here I am writing this post—a task no one asked me to do, but I chose to do anyway, because I felt the need to produce something, anything, instead of sitting around and wasting time. What I am trying to say is that in this strange new age of social distancing and quarantines, I, like so many others, am finding myself constantly torn between two emotions: Guilt over not making the most of these extra hours at home we all have thanks to coronavirus (COVID-19), and exhaustion from living in a world that’s growing more chaotic and depressing by the day.
I want to be doing more. I’m still working, albeit from home, but with events cancelled and in-person socialization no longer a possibility, the hours of 6 p.m. until midnight-ish are suddenly wide open. If you’d told me, weeks ago, that I’d have all this extra time, I’d have excitedly come up with a million possibilities for how it could be used. And even now, I still want badly to be doing things—I feel such a need to be productive, to be making the best use of this additional time that I know I won’t ever get again, when this is all over.
And yet the idea of writing, of probing my mind for content and thinking deeply about structure and voice and emotion and so much more, feels so tiring these days that I just can’t bring myself to do it. When I do sit down at my laptop and open up my to-do list, my mind goes blank and my anxiety starts to rise. All I can think about is coronavirus; everything else feels like a blur, and trying to make sense out of that blur—no matter how much I might want to, or how mad at myself I get for not doing it—is impossible. And while I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, it doesn’t make that disappointment go away.
Any other creatives feel incapable of writing these days? I want to be productive and use this time wisely, but the idea of working on my creative projects (or even just using my brain for writing at all) feels exhausting to the point of impossibility.
So I close my laptop, put my notes away. And the moment I do, I feel infinitely better—not like I’m letting myself down, but like I’m letting myself off the hook. Like I’m giving myself permission to take a break, to not try. To simply sit there, or listen to music or watch a movie —any kind of mindless activity that doesn’t involve real concentration or thought, just distraction. I need this relaxation time, I know I do—we all do, during this unprecedented era when we’re anxious and antsy and indefinitely stuck in our homes.
But it’s challenging. So many of us, myself included, are used to constantly moving—onto new ideas, new projects, new ambitions. We feel restless and bad when we pause, so we don’t pause. We push forward even when we don’t have any energy left because we feel like we’re supposed to, even if the only people expecting that of us are ourselves. So while I’m currently not writing much, I am still doing some, definitely more than I have to. I still feel such a strong need to be busy, and an even stronger guilt if I’m not.
But I’m also realising, as the days go on and this worldwide crisis continues, that right now I would rather be calm than creative. If I want to feel okay, or at least as okay as one can be during a pandemic, then I have to not push myself to use my brain for more than it wants to be used. And if that means not writing, and “wasting” my time instead? So be it, even if the part of me that wants to be going going going at all times still finds it hard to understand.
That Friday feeling…
If I knew it all then would I do it again?
Would I do it again? 🦥
I forgot that you existed… 🤍
A few years ago, I sat on a bench at my favourite childhood park. I was scared, feeling alone and completely empty inside. I was stuck at a crossroads in my life, and had no idea what to do next. I wrote this letter to myself and filed it away. The beauty of technology allowed me to set a reminder for 8 years… today is that day.
This is what I wrote…
Dear Future Self,
Remember when you used to draw a line on the wall as a kid to check how tall you were? Yes, the good old days. The days when you’d be ecstatic to see that you grew by even just a centimeter. Even then, you realised that small progress was still progress.
Height’s easy to measure, though. I realised that’s harder to measure personal growth. And because of this realisation, I took it upon myself to give you something to remind you of your growth and constant improvement.
You, more than anyone, would know that looking back on the past has always brought me more harm than good. As much as dwelling on the past has hurt me (or should I say us?) before, I promise you that this letter is the exception.
I don’t know if you remember that early morning you spent writing this on your Blackberry, but if you don’t, I hope you’re still as open-minded as I am right now to take in the list of your past failures
Now before you think about traveling back in time just to personally throw a brick at me for doing this, hear me out: I’m not trying to bring you down. More than anything, I want you to realise how many struggles you have not only faced, but conquered. Sure, getting through them was tough, and you may have been ashamed of them in the past. But now that you can analyze them again in the future, I am confident that you’ll see that being faced with adversity made you stronger in every aspect of life: physically, emotionally, mentally, maybe even spiritually.
That’s something to be extremely grateful for.
And okay, I get that people usually write letters to their younger selves, but I decided to write to you. What would be the point of writing my past self a letter she would never get?
Besides, you know that I’ve always been the type to do something more unique anyway. I don’t know how far into the future you’re reading this, but I hope that at least that much hasn’t changed. So without further ado, here’s a list of failures and shortcomings at this point in my life so far:
You’re probably facing a whole new set of problems right now, and I’m grateful for that. Why? Because this constant process of failure, improvement, and learning valuable lessons is the key to living a life that you’re genuinely proud of.
So whenever you feel like you’re not good enough, look back on these past failures. Look back on all you have gotten wrong, and realise how much you have gotten right because of them. Our failures do define us. Not in the sense that we should think less of ourselves because of them, but that they are what ultimately help us progress as a person.
We may not be physically able to mark our achievements and success as lines on a wall, but rest assured, we continue to grow each and every single day.
And if I’m still around in 8 years time, to reread this letter again, just know I don’t need time travel to know that you have developed into someone I’d be extremely proud to become.
Your Past Self.
But you keep my old scarf from that very first week… ‘Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me 🌸
I was scrolling through social media, like I do every morning, and something inconspicuous caught my eye.
It wasn’t the blonde on the beach rocking her killer bod.
It wasn’t the perfectly curated baby announcement.
And it wasn’t the blogger sharing her #OOTD
It was an article titled How To Stay True To Yourself When The World Wants You To Change.
Something about those words mushed together to formulate that sentence froze my fingers from continuing to scroll. I sat there, gazing off into the distance thinking about what that headline was insinuating.
When the world wants you to change.
There are 7.7 billion people in the world and someone, or maybe multiple of them, want you to change.
I was still in my trance when I started thinking, does the world want ME to change?
What would they want to change about me?
Oh God, I know what it would be.
Yup, it would be that and absolutely that too, and that…and that (You get it).
My insecurities started flooding in faster than a Bachelor contestants social media following.
After I calmed myself and silenced the voices in my head, I reached for my laptop and opened a new Word document as quickly as I could. I didn’t even read the article before I started throwing my own words onto a piece of virtual paper.
As much as we like to admit that we do things for ourselves, I can’t help but think that sometimes, we may be doing something for someone else. I’m not referring to the hold the door for a stranger something else, rather the oh let me do that or wear that because it’s what they would want.
This may be a mental tactic to protect my own self but I like to think that even the most confident people feel the pressure on their shoulders to change. I know I sure as shit do. Do you?
For those days where your insecurities to change are shrieking in your head louder than your neighbours annoying yapping, take a breath and give the below tactics a try.
Some days, social media can feel like your BFF that will never let you down while other days it can be the devil on your shoulder that you can’t shake. While social media platforms are meant to connect us in a positive manner, it can also serve as a dose of what you don’t have / what you aren’t. Trust me, I’ve been sucked into the black hole of social media comparison more times than I would like to admit and it’s an unforgiving place to spend your time and energy. In effort to find your own voice and form your own opinions, take a break from scrolling. Treat yourself to the gift of unplugging from those on the other side of a screen. ,Put your phone down and give yourself the opportunity to be present with those physically around you and the time to get to know yourself, without the internal chatter.
No really, who are you? What are your beliefs? What do you value? Who do you want to associate yourself with? What is your style? What will you stand for? What won’t you stand for?
The more in tuned you are with yourself, the less fragile you will be when people are breathing their own values, etc. down your neck.
Stand by your opinions.
Dress the way you want.
Believe in what you believe in.
Style your hair the way you feel best.
Love the people who your heart beats for.
In the words of a smart man, “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”
Don’t fall for putting yourself into someone else’s box. Create your own box and live your best life, inside or outside, of that box.
Validation has hit our generation like the plague. A quick double tap gets more panties wet these days than real life experiences.
A moment of silence for our grandparents who just rolled over in their graves.
If you open your eyes every morning with the intention to have all of those around you approve of you, you will fail. You will fail, every single time. Why? Well, in case you haven’t heard; you can be the ripest peach in the whole world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches. You’ll be too skinny, too fat, too pretty, too ugly, too smart, too stupid, too this, too that. You will never win the validation game so why even make yourself a player? Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you.
I know, do you may be the most cliché thing I could write at this point of the article but IT’S THE TRUTH. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you feel most alive. Do what makes you feel successful, healthy, and badass. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and in turn your kindness to others will be second nature. Above all else, just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person you are and the rest will take care of itself.
They say practice makes perfect…
I know I deserve it 🖤
Over the last few years a few of my female friends had gotten eyelash extensions and looked like the hot human equivalent of Bambi. I once stopped a complete stranger in the CBD to ask, “Did you get lashes?” She, holding her freshly made Flat White from the ‘HOM, beamed like a lighthouse through my fog, “Yes!” she gushed.
Oh how I wanted lash extensions. But I live on a pretty tight budget, and let’s face it - they can be really expensive. And then… one of my close friend’s decided to get into Eyelash Extensions, her new business venture offered a special offer for the first two months of operating. Tbh, after my first set - I was hooked!
Here are a few things you need to know about lash extensions.
Your eyes are essentially holes in your skull (eeew!!) it’s easy for bacteria to enter, for you to get sick, or worse look like an oozing cyclops. Just like you wouldn’t order sushi from a place called, “Crabs R Us” at a petrol station, you shouldn’t get lashes unless you get the premium ones. Go to a qualified professional that you can verify thinks sanitary conditions are the best thing ever.
When I finally had the opportunity to get lash extensions, I went to Michelle at Lashelle, in Muizenberg. So one thing you should know about Michelle, she has been wearing eyelash extensions for a good 3 years before taking on this new venture. This skattie of mine, has learnt all the tricks of the trade, along with how to take great care of ones lashes - so I really couldn’t have gone to anyone better for this experience. (Side note: I suffer from an extreme anxiety disorder, so I can’t just have anyone up in my face, playing with my eyes. It all stems from trust, and I would trust Michelle with Maui. Yep it’s deep lol)
At my appointment, Michelle (Did I mention she is a certified Eyelash Extension technician), used a mixture of length and volume lashes to build extensions onto the tips of my natural lashes. The procedure took two hours and I walked out yelling, “I’m the brunette Cinderella.”
You know when you can spy a nose job from a helicopter? Fake looking lashes are not as tragic, but close. If you’re paying for lashes, the asthetician should know what you need, but if you (and I know you free spirits out there!) are applying them yourselves, here’s the key to your eye-shape:
Round Eyes: People notice you. They call you “doe-eyes” and it’s a compliment. You shouldn’t be afraid of drawing even more attention to your eyes with lash extensions. Round eye people can have some fun with dramatic lashes.
Hooded Eyes: Lash extensions will make you pop, Hoods. You can play with upper and lower lashes, specifically the outer bottom corners. You want your lash extensions to give the appearance of having bigger eyes without looking buggy or fake.
Almond Eyes: You make people’s radars for wise-looking yet mysterious peepers. Accentuate your uniqueness with extensions of different lengths, the longest should be in the center of your eyes. You, like the round eyes can play with length as long as it looks natural.
Now you’re probably thinking the lashes look great but costs are probably still going to be super high. Noooooope! Lashelle’s salon offers super affordable prices whilst still offering great service with great quality products! I’m super sensitive to just about anything, and I have had ZERO issues over the last few months. Take a peek at her price list below:
If you’re interested in booking an appointment for yourself, head over to her Social Media pages
It’s 2019. STILL.
You can quite literally be anything or whoever you want to be. The door is wide f!cking open.
So why do so many of us, myself included, still feel the need to please others? Why does the opinion of others have the potential to hit us like a ton of bricks? Why? WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH? I don’t know about you but I’m 28 years old and still navigating through so many different aspects of life. In a society where we are pressured to constantly feel like we should have it all together, it’s hard not to listen to the voice inside our head that whispers but what will others think?
Depending on the person you ask, I think it would be fair to say that you would receive a variety of different responses. Some people are born people pleasers, while others focus too much on outside opinions due to self-consciousness. Then, you have the people on the opposite end of the spectrum. Those that seem to be oozing of confidence and unbreakable thick skin. How does one find balance in between all of that?!
I can’t say that I’m in a point in my life that I give zero fucks because I think caring is powerful. Actually, if we are being honest, I give a lot of fucks. But only about the things and people that bring and or add value and purpose to my life. I believe that we should guard our time, energy, and love for those things, places and people that sprinkle magic in our lives.
If you’re constantly caught up in caring too much and your sensitive heart is getting hurt every 12 seconds, here are a few tips from personal experience that have thickened my skin and helped to prioritize my focus.
We’ve all heard the saying so repeat after me, take it with a grain of salt. Imagine if we took every single word that was ever directed towards us to heart. WOW – that would be an awful way to spend our precious time on this earth. With endless opinions, ideology’s and judgements swirling around in the world, it can be so easy to get instantly weighed down by words from another’s mouth. It can be hard to deflect opinions and judgements of others but when you sit down to tend to your wound, know that their words are a reflection of that person’s experiences and lifestyle and not necessarily a direct reflection of you. So, shake it like a salt shaker and move on with your day.
Say it louder for the kids in the back! Speaking your truth is one of the most powerful things you can do. Whether in discussions with friends, family or coworkers who voice a separate opinion then your own; don’t feel the need to back down. Gracefully and respectfully speak your mind just as they are doing. Showing others that you are unapologetically yourself will not only be a freeing feeling but will also make it known that you value your voice and the right to use it.
Feeling lost within your own thoughts, most of the time, comes from a place of not being confident in your viewpoint or personal opinion. This is the prime opportunity to take a personal timeout. Sit down, take a deep breath and indulge in self-reflection until you recognize what aspects are most important to you and align with your values. Finding what makes you tick will make you feel secure in voicing your unique outlook.
Knowing the time and place to express certain opinions is key to social survival. Before you walk into a social setting, family dinner or work meeting – understanding your audience will get you farther than you may think. Unless you’re in the mood to stir shit up and walk into a space ready to word vomit and start arguments, I would suggest tapping into your audience before opening your mouth. Sometimes, it’s better to mind your own business then to step out of line if there is a potential serious consequence waiting for you on the other side.
Now I know that there is someone on the other side of the screen with smoke coming out of their ears thinking, I can’t believe she is telling me to dull my voice. If you know me well enough, you would know that is absolutely not what I’m saying. However, I do believe it takes a mature and smart person to recognize if their opinion is going to drop an unnecessary bomb or not.
It’s been a minute. I know.
Working for an online sneaker & streetwear store can be busy. Along with handling freelance work, time just doesn’t exist. Today I was told I am no longer allowed to freelance - I’ll admit, I’m freaked out and super worried. My day job doesn’t pay near to market value for my skills, hence why I was freelancing. But now, I’ve had to cut that extra cash flow.
I’m panicked to be honest, and I’m battling to breathe. My chest pains are out of control from the numerous panic attacks I’ve been dealing with all day. I’ve been saving all my creative energy for my freelance work, but now that it’s cut… I’m returning to this dear blog of mine. I need a creative output, my mental state depends on it.
I know some of you have messaged, and wondered why I dropped off the face of the earth. Well, wonder no more… I’m back!
Where is this going? I have no idea. But I’m here, typing, thinking…
Not everything pretty sparkles and shines… 👑
A mirror’s like a heart…
Mine shatters and I found myself in every part 💎 (at Jakkalsfontein, West Coast)
Made the mistake of dancing in my storm… ⛅️ (at Muizenberg)