Okay I think I can articulate thoughts now ahem
Antis do not understand human sexuality. At all. They tote around the idea that people with problematic ships or tastes in fanfiction need therapy, when in reality most of these tastes are extremely common and innocuous.
The most common example is with incest. Plenty of people have incest fantasies, whether it be a mom, stepmom, stepsister, et cetera. Why? Because it’s taboo. It’s dirty, risky, and taboo. The human brain craves what it can’t have or do. This is why so many people have kinks related to abuse, rape, and incest.
Rape kinks are like this too. People crave to be desired, maybe even against their own wills. It often ties into power exchange, the exhilarating feeling of helplessness, and of course, the taboo. This doesn’t mean these people actually want to be raped. They like a romanticized idea of rape. This is why so many popular pieces of media are about a woman being raped and falling in love with her captor. It’s taboo, immoral, and insane. And it’s fucking hot, because it’s a fantasy. It’s not meant to be realistic or a depiction of what we actually want in a relationship.
If you really think that a majority of people genuinely condone incest, rape, or abuse, you’d be out of your mind. Fantasies are not reality. Any sexologist would tell you this. Your fantasies and what you enjoy in fiction do not reflect anything about yourself. Again, it is mostly just a matter of craving the taboo and morally fucked up facets of sexuality. Most people have that one fucked up kink or fantasy.
Additionally, in the case of people who have genuinely suffered at the hands of rapists and abusers, romanticizing our trauma can be healing and feel like a reclamation of our sexuality. I am drawn to abusive relationships in fiction because I was abused. That does not mean I condone or want to be abused. I would encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to get out ASAP and I’m sure you would too.
So many sexual fantasies and kinks exist that are at the absolute best morally questionable. Kidnapping fantasies, consensual non-consent, ageplay, drugging fantasies, hell even necrophilia fantasies, incest fantasies, I could go on. And for many adolescents especially, fandom and fanfiction is the only safe way they have to express these thoughts. It’s a normal part of sexual development and can be gone about in a responsible, healthy manner.
People with fantasies do not condone these actions.
And I get it, a lot of antis are abuse victims. They may feel triggered and angered by the idea that other people are fetishizing ‘their’ trauma. This is a totally normal thing to feel. What isn’t normal is manipulating and harassing people who are expressing themselves and have every right to do so in a responsible way. This is the sort of thing that should be worked through in therapy and not taken out on other people – especially other abuse victims – who are minding their own business.
Fantasy is not reality. That is that. It is basic sexology. Please stop trying to spread the idea that fiction is just retraumatizing abuse victims, or condoning abhorrent, abusive acts. Any sexologist would tell you otherwise, and it’s disingenuous to act like you have any idea what you’re talking about, and aren’t just operating off of emotion alone.
if you (not you OP) can’t tell the difference between fiction (pixels on a screen about fictional people that don’t exist) and reality (a real living breathing human being hurt), that’s a you problem, and not the author/content creator’s fault.
whether it’s triggering or liberating, it comes down to the individual. both responses are valid. what’s NOT ok is, as you said, harassing people. why is it SO difficult for antis to leave people alone? i swear, antis are just a newer version of sex-policing, pearl-clutching puritans.
the tl;dr on all of this is: mind your own damn business.