i used to think it was just because i was growing out of it and maybe i am but man i really think the state of multiplayer games right now is pretty Bad
in 2009 i got tf2 for $20 and put my first 1k out of 4.8k hours in that game that year. i kept coming back to play the game. there were barely any unlocks back then and you had to get them through achievements (at least for some of that year). but there was no incentive to come back other than the game itself. every server was a different experience run by different people with different players. did you want a super serious game? there were servers for that with people who tried hard. and if you didnt want to do that, there were a bunch of other community made game modes and maps that were fully of silly fun shit. you could actually make some pretty decent random friends this way! and if you didnt like a server you could just hop around for hours, or quit. there was nothing to compel you to keep playing, you just Did.
today, i buy a multiplayer game, i know exactly what maps it has, what gamemodes it has, every item in the game has been shown to me and their progression line is already outlined for me. i will not see anything out of the ordinary unless the developers mess something up and promptly patch it. if i go too far out of the map im told by the game WHERE ARE YOU GOING GET BACK IN THE FIGHT and if i dont it just straight up kills me. if you somehow manage to run a modded server of the game the developers send someone to your house to break your knees.
i know that its going to incentivize me to keep playing by giving me xp for every little thing i do to make sure that if im not good at the main objective in the game i still feel like my performance is good enough to not give up and find something else to do. its going to give me “daily challenges” that are just “do thing that happens naturally in the game x amount of times” that give me more xp and if i grind away at it hard enough maybe i’ll get the golden rifle bullet gun they’re only giving away for THIS WEEK ONLY and i dont want to miss out on having my Video Game Master Status Symbol.
when i join a lobby, everyone has one goal and it’s Win. everyone has chosen a character or loadout that is considered borderline broken to almost everyone but You Gotta do it because its the only way to Win. i am grouped up with 5 random people who have all been playing for 7 consecutive hours like its their fucking job and they have clearly exhausted every ounce of fun out of the game for the day (and their life probably) and are already really frustrated but are grinding away anyway just to say they did so. if i decide to play outside of The Meta™ i will probably be votekicked from the lobby, forcibly removed from the match and penalized because some guy who’s gone 0-14 and hasn’t figured out when to quit decided that’s my problem now.
but its okay if all thats too frustrating, because you could spend 3 weeks doing menial video game chores OR you could spend $20 and get the thing they’re hanging over your head right away which will eventually be worthless once next weeks Thing comes out and everyone’s grinding a game they no longer find fun out of obligation. it is great how multiplayer experiences have just decided to become skinner box jobs you pay to work at.
it’s kind of weird how we’re culturally not supposed to admit that we do things for money and/or attention. Like I’m not going to work because i’m a team player or because I care about the company mission, I’m going so I can pay rent and buy food. I’m not publishing my fanfic because I’m passionate about writing or because I only care about art in its purest form, I’m publishing it because I want attention. If I didn’t want attention, I’d leave it on my hard drive. Really, why are we supposed to pretend to have “better” motivations?
like to be clear I am passionate about writing and I want to be a good writer, but when I truly just want to “write for myself” I leave it on my computer and never share it. I have plenty of things that fall into that category on my hard drive, that nobody else will ever read, but if I go through the effort to upload it somewhere? I am seeking attention and I would like it in the form of kudos, comments, and reblogs thank you
Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.
The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game…
So the first picture is this:
Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious
I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game
Okay so later in the lineup we get to Dalí’s Persistence of Memory, which is very funny because it’s preceded by several pieces that have like, obvious people in them, so everyone’s gotten a bit complacent in their mimicry
In case you’ve forgotten, this is Persistence:
And I swear every time, there’s a beat right before everyone either becomes a tree by t-posing for their life, or goes boneless like some kind of child-shaped pancake over the nearest flat surface
Highlights from this one include a pair who decided to drape themselves pancake-style over the same desk and banged heads, resulting in 2 ground pancakes, and someone who fully just stood there staring, and explained that they were expressing the hatred they felt as soon as they saw it
Last installment: one of the pictures is The Scream, and everyone very quickly just makes a 😱 face, but then we get to talk about my favorite “throw spaghetti at the wall” topic, why is he screaming? (The answer is Existential Dread, but it’s not appropriate to tell 1st graders that so instead we all put out other ideas lol)
In case you haven’t looked at it recently, this is The Scream:
My favorite guesses from the kids to Why Is He Screaming:
-those guys behind him are going to arrest him
-he missed his boat and it’s one of the ones in the background, he just noticed
-the sky’s all wiggly
-he just wanted to scream
-HE CAN SEE THE CLASS OF FIRST GRADERS LOOKING AT HIM AND HE DOESN’T LIKE IT
Children are bonkers
op this is an incredible teaching tool. i love this. thank you for sharing this
babe wake up new “not to me not if it’s you” just dropped
[Image Description: Text reading:
‘H of H: I cannot rise. Too heavy with filth and sin.
Th: Give me your hand.
H of H: I’ll stain you.
Th: I’ll take it.’
SINCEREST APOLOGIES it’s from H of H by Anne Carson!! an adaptation of the play Herakles (which she’s also translated) (her translation of Orestes has the specific “not to me/not if it’s you” wording)
For those that asked:
6 russet potatoes, sliced into half circles
1lb sausage (hot italian sausage recommended)
32 oz chicken broth
1 yellow onion, cut however you want
Garlic - think “what’s a lot of garlic?” double that amount, minced
1 bunch kale - stem removed, tear it up (can be larger than “bite sized pieces”, as they will wilt)
1 cup heavy whipping cream
Seasoning - I do not measure these and I never will. Season to taste.
(Paprika, Salt, Pepper, Oregano, Bay Leaves, Cayenne, Cumin)
In a large soup pot, brown the sausage and break apart/crumble as it cooks. Throw the onion and spices in there, mix that all up and cook till the sausage is cooked thoroughly. Add minced garlic, cook for 1-2 min.
Add chicken stock and potatoes. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. I let it simmer for about 15 min, longer (maybe 25-30?) if you want the potatoes to break down more and create a chowdery texture.
Add the kale. Stir it in until wilted and doesn’t seem like too much kale anymore. Maybe 2-3 min.
Turn off the stove. Add heavy cream a little at a time while stirring it in.
Serve and top it off as you see fit. I like shredded parmesan and red pepper flakes
I mean avoid working at McDonald’s yeah but don’t just take jobs and not show up. That’s likely to fuck up chances at future jobs if you show resumes.
and who, may i ask, maintains your resume?
i mean, i’m hoping it’s you. you don’t have to put it on there.
experimenting with gender is like. imagine you’re a small child and your mom buys buckets of ice cream for the family but the only flavour she ever buys is vanilla. so you go through life growing up thinking “this is how ice cream is supposed to taste like. it tastes like vanilla.” and maybe you really like it but maybe you actually hate it and you just think you hate all ice cream. and then one day after you grow up you go to an ice cream parlour and realize that this place has 31 different flavours, of which vanilla is only one of them, and you’re like ???? the heck?? and so you start trying all the flavours and some of them you’re like ugh no this one doesn’t taste good. and others you’re like whoa this is amazing!! and maybe you find one that you like even BETTER than vanilla and you’re like wow I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this the whole time!! I’m only gonna eat this flavour from now on!! or maybe you decide you actually like a ton of flavours and decide you’re gonna get multiple scoops of everything from now on. or maybe you try all of them and then decide you actually still like vanilla the most even after trying all the others, so you go back to your vanilla and eat it happily for the rest of your life knowing that you truly love this flavour and you’re not just eating it bc it’s the only one you’ve ever known. tldr: gender is like ice cream
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
hnn I WANT IT SO BAD
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
now we enter the testing phase
yup. looks good.
Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?
OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement
*roar sound effect*
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)
I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!
Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures
OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card
Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)
so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.
it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!
well that’s just,,,
two hundred THOUSAND notes???!?!
Nearing on 375K Notes!!! What in the Paleolithic are y'all gonna do when they top 400K?!
Reblogging to get you one note closer to crossing the 400k mark!
YOU MANIACS. okay, here we go!
HAIL TO THE QUEEN
LONG MAY SHE REIGN!
(she was a skater Rex, she said see you later Rex, she’s finally hit 400k!)
QUALITY. FUCKING. CONTENT.
[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED “Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat”]
[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELLED “Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]
[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]
The Onion- The Onion
Reductress- the onion for [cis]women
The Hard Times- the onion for “punks”/”gamers”/trans women
The Daily Mash- the onion for brits
The Betoota Advocate- the onion for aussies
The Beaverton- the onion for canadians
The Waterford Whispers- the potato
McSweeney’s- the onion for liberal arts majors who want you to know they get the reference, but at least they got a TMBG song out of it
The Toast- do those links still work?
The Borowitz Report- the onion for “people” who think calling trump “cheeto voldemort” is incisive political commentary
The Babylon Bee- the Landover Baptist Church if it was unironic and staffed by elon musk fanboys
The Landover Baptist Church- holy fuck those links still work
Duffel Blog- the onion for suicidal vets
Clickhole- the onion for people who still play cards against humanity