To Whom It May Concern
It has come to my attention that some of you have been enjoying media that the OAF (Organization Against Fun) has deemed Problematic™.
This is unacceptable.
The frankly appalling behavior in question is exemplified by, but not limited to, engaging with themes not suitable for five year olds, speaking about or writing complex characters without constantly emphasizing how evil they are, and creating fanworks that do not appeal to me personally without asking for my permission or begging for my forgiveness.
Since you people do not possess my superior intellect, you have thus misinterpreted the phrase “thinking critically” to mean “analyzing and interpreting a work” instead of the correct definition “nitpicking perceived flaws”. Fear not, you will be re-educated.
Aditionally, certain individuals, who shall remain unnamed, have displayed shocking amounts of empathy towards morally grey characters, or worse, developed a fondness for villainous characters who were written to be charming and dramatic. When confronted with my lecture about how villains are evil, these individuals responded with “and that’s very sexy of them.”
The OAF cannot let this stand.
Instead of shipping Woke™ ships with a far less interesting dynamic, there have been various attempts to normalize, romanticize, fetishize, realize and caramelize illegal ships, which should be punishable by death as it is tantamount to a war crime.
Sadly, the AO3 (Archive of Our Own) responded to my reasonable demands for censorship by telling me to “fuck off or learn to use the tagging system for its intended purpose.”
I must ask all who are currently having fun in their fandoms to cease and desist.
Won’t somebody think of the children.