in college a teacher explained that criticizing gentrification wasn’t about shaming or blaming the white people that were most likely living in the only apartments they could afford - it was about asking why their living there was inherently valuable. it’s not really about who - it’s about why. why white lives are literally valued more. why is the presence of white people a gentrifying force? what is it about whiteness that elicits immediate value?
And if you look up the stages of gentrification, it usually goes like “artists and teachers and etc move into this neighborhood because its what they can afford” and THEN “developers notice these people and try to capitalize on them.”
[ID: tags from the blog shitty-check-please-aus that read “#oh my god what if she was in their sorority before they got trampled #and she had a breakdown in the car leaving samwell after recruiting jack”]
So Ship, how would you improve the "awakening tied up" trope? Like.. what would you consider a meaningful variation?
Man I don’t even know. It’s such a hyper-specific peeve that I doubt anyone else is bothered by it. I think I would have to attempt to write one myself in order to identify what irritates me so much.
I guess my chief annoyance is in how people write disorientation. Fictional characters are always becoming unconscious and waking up later undamaged for plot reasons, and I get that, but if you’ve been drugged and wake up someplace unfamiliar you’re a lot more fucked up about it than “uwu why can’t I rub my eyes… oh no where am I?” and immediately start taking stock of the situation or plotting an escape. You’re really fucking stupid and confused, you don’t wake up all at once, and you don’t have useful thoughts of any kind for a while because your brain just Is Not online.
my best OC is Brad Wayne, Bruce’s illegitimate biological child via a totally normal woman he had a fling with when he was younger and didn’t stay in touch with
Brad grew up a totally normal kid, went to college, joined a frat, and decided to get in touch with Bruce, who now has an awkward situation on his hands
now the other Batkids have to deal with fucking Brad Wayne, whose normalacy is absolutely insufferable… he tells Dick to try yoga and suggests that Tim will sleep better if he gets more exercise… Bruce goes out of town and Brad decides it’s time to throw a house party with his frat friends
he’s so good
All of Brad’s Bat-siblings are absolutely unprepared to deal with him. They can’t handle it. They can’t even hate him properly, even Damien, because he’s just… he’s not even… he’s just Some Guy™️!
They’re all braced for the inevitable reveal that he’s a villain, an imposter, or an interloper there to usurp the Wayne fortune or spy on Batman. They have all sorts of plans to foil his schemes and the only thing they’re not able to prepare for is the fact that he’s just. Brad. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not a saint, either—his problems are just so mundane, so ordinary.
They TRY to understand what his life is like, but how are they supposed to relate to someone who doesn’t text back because he’s hungover or his phone died, not because he’s tied up in a death trap somewhere being menaced by someone in a Halloween costume?
No one’s ever tried to ritually sacrifice him before and it shows.
Does he know they are the batfam? Or does he just think it is so cool that his dad has adopted all these kids that needed a home?
Oh he has no idea. Brad didn’t grow up in Gotham and isn’t really familiar with its culture, so he thinks it’s an ordinary city with ordinary problems (presumably there’s still a concept of ‘ordinary’ in the DCU).
When someone tries to tell him he laughs it off. Maybe one of his friends asks him about the popular rumor that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he’s never even contemplated the possibility. Later he’s trying to coax Dick into playing beer pong and loudly tells the story to party guests as a funny anecdote. He thinks the whole concept of Batman is hilarious. Maybe he makes up stories about seeing Batman to impress his family and make himself sound cool.
Eventually though some bad guy who wants a huge ransom is going to kidnap Brad. What happens then? Does Batman call in a favor to one of the other members of the Justice League or does Damien go out and rescue his brother and tell him he’s the most useless of all his brothers because he’s so ordinary? Because you know if anyone is going to blab it’s going to be Damien.
Brad gets kidnapped and Steph and/or Cass rescue him in costume.
Later, in Wayne Manor, he tells his family all about how the Batgirls were totally flirting with him and how he managed to take out a few of the bad guys all by himself.
Brad Wayne: “Hey, do you guys think Batman fucks? Like, you think he has ever gotten laid?”
Dick, stiffly: “Um. Yes. I think so.”
Brad: “Really? Guy sounds like a turbo-virgin to me. I mean, he fights crime in a fursuit! Come on!”
Tim: “I have it on reasonable authority that Batman fucks. Unfortunately.”
Steph: “Hey, Damian. Penny for your thoughts?”
Frat Kid Brad Wayne
Brad: “Bro do you remember what Robin used to wear, back when we were kids? With like, those little feathery booty shorts?”
Dick: “Scaled. Not feathery. He wore an armored leotard.”
Brad: “Nah, man, they were totally feathery! ‘Cause robins have feathers. I never really understood that—why would Batman’s sidekick be themed after a songbird? Robins aren’t scary. They don’t fight crime, and they don’t come out at night. Why not ‘Batboy’ or ‘Owlkid’ or something?”
Dick: “I’m pretty sure Robin’s schtick was based off Robin Hood the outlaw, not the bird. That’s why he wore green, and had a uniform cleverly blending medieval costumery with, uh, acrobatic attire.”
Brad: “Whatever. I’m just saying, it was weird.”
Dick: “Not really? Look up classic strongman costumes and historical illustrations of Robin Hood. Or Google Jules Leotard.”
Brad: “But the bare legs! The pixie boots! Why would Batman let him wear that? It’s creepy.”
Dick: “It wasn’t! Look. It was a different time. In context, that costume was obviously heroic. Besides, he was a little kid. I’m sure he’d wear something different now.”
Jason: “Yeah, but didn’t he keep wearing the short pants until he was old enough to vote? I’m pretty sure I remember that Robin wearing the pixie boots through college… he must have spent a fortune getting his legs waxed. I think I’d die before I’d do that.”
Dick: “This is Gotham. People do weirder things all the time.”
Brad: “Haven’t there been a lot of Robins? What happens to them? Do they die and Batman just hopes no one will notice when they’re replaced?”
Jason: “I think that’s exactly what happens. He’s probably got a whole cellar full of dead Robins.”
What do you think would happen when he saw Jason’s gun collection? Cause Brad would at some point want to see where his adult siblings live and Jason probably just leaves his guns on whatever surface is clean. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s one in the fridge from when he went to get a beer last night. And Brad already suspicious just opens up the fridge and there’s a loaded gun and maybe a granade just staring at him when he goes to grab Jason a beer.
Honestly? I doubt he’d think much of it. He’d probably assume Jason was some kind of stockpiler with an extreme paranoid political bent, which are all too common, and suggest that he get a gun locker or twenty for safety—imagine if Damian were to come over, and there were unsecured guns, just think! You hear sad stories about little kids finding guns and playing with them all the time.
“Look, bro, I’m all for your second amendment rights. My LB in TKE wound up leading the campus conservative club, and we still hang. But, like, I worry about Damien and Tim, y'know? Shit happens when kids clown around.”
Brad is my new favorite batkid everyone else can leave.
Brad, wandering out of the shower: “Wassup, T-man? You lose a fight to poison ivy or something?”
Tim, frozen in surprise: “H-how did… how did you know?”
Brad: “I’d know those blisters anywhere! My roommate freshman year had to go on steroids, he got it so bad. All over his ass. Almost got him kicked off the team ‘cause no one believed him until he dropped trou right on the field. Ever tried Tecnu Gel?”
But does the Tecnu Gel help tim? Does brad have seemingly random health items in his medicine chest bc “you never know what might happen to you?” have his frat bros gotten hurt doing stupid things and did those events lead brad to be like “I got a splint and some Advil in my car hang tight!” @glumshoe
I want to say yes just because the idea of Tecnu being useful against supervillains is very funny to me.
I imagine Brad is very familiar with sports injuries and alcohol poisoning, in ways that actually prove helpful to the Bat clan with surprising regularity. Maybe one of the guys gets the shit beaten out of him and tries to hide it, but Brad notices how stiff he is and is like, “I got you bro! Sit down, I’ll rub your back. No homo. I mean, unless you’re gay, that’s cool too, I mean hell, I’ve fooled around a bit with the team and I think I might be bi, but you’re still my bro even if you’re adopted, so nah. Haha damn dude, your shoulders are gnarly. You gotta stretch that shit!”
Also I just like the idea of him referring to The Joker as “Pennywise” by mistake.
This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf
Let us just appreciate that this person’s dad didn’t know when they would be home and so he couldn’t plan for them to be able to join the family for dinner, but he knew with no doubts that dear sweet Meatloaf staying in that exact position for hours was an absolute in this scenario. Truly, that cat was named well.
one of my favorite posts on tumblr over the course of 5 fucking years.. clearly i need a life
Meatloaf is a reliable cat and did not steal the money for selfish reasons. A rare friend.
I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman
Remember when Jeff Bezos, who is worth 181 billion USD donated 690k to stopping Australian fires? Yeah, me too.
McKenzie Scott is literally proof that these fuckers can donate HUGE sums of money to EVERYTHING and still live a comfortable life…. But nooO someone HAS to justify the pitifully small donations the richest men on earth make every year for their tax write-off
she looks like the secondary protagonist of a jane austen novel. spends a lot of time reading and is very close with her (also unmarried) female friends. 8/10
she’s a farmer’s daughter or a huntress. hair is impractically left down but when she aims her bow and arrow at you she’s too damn gorgeous. 7/10
looks like the one woman in the group of guys for an action movie. has a lot of impressive martial arts scenes with way too many cuts that leaves you feeling horny and disrespected at the same time. 6/10
she’s definitely an elder for the younger lgbts in minas tirith, and strong enough to beat the shit out of any homophobe, transphobe, etc. 8/10
these are the same picture. 4/10
she’s the younger sister of the main love interest, always knows what’s going on and ready to pop in with a witty comment. 7/10
this looks like cate blanchett kind of? 6/10
based faceapp kept the beard. she’s mysterious and wise but she pulls you in all the same. 7/10
Orlando is so much of a twink that nothing changed 💀
this doesn’t just block nonbinary people it blocks anyone who doesn’t provide that personal information to google. it’s a direct punishment for trying to remain at all anonymous or private. one might ask why companies are so desperate to seek out and FILTER based on gender in the first place.
just bc it could work doesn’t mean it should have to. when disney bought fox, they knew what they were getting. deadpool is a franchise with two r rated predecessors and disney trying to keep their family friendly image while owning it is a big example of “maybe you shouldn’t have bought it”. not to mention the fact that we already would have had deadpool 3 bc 21st century (as a smaller movie house) considered it a priority. for disney, it’s just another notch on the bed post
ok while I’m here (and by no circumstance am I saying xmcu deadpool was perfect nor was 21st century) BUT
-deadpool flirted with men and women on screen
-negasonic teenage warhead (main character in both films) was a canon lesbian with a girlfriend
-a maori teen was cast as a villain that was white in the comics then given a redemption arc/mentioned the emotional trauma of the foster system
-deadpool shot a p*dophile
-josh brolin had a lil crush on ryan reynolds and I know in my heart 100% would have kissed him on camera
-domino was a superhero with vitiligo
if disney won’t even honor the precedent set by TWO r rated films prior to #3 well………I don’t think that’s a good sign
If it helps, Ryan Reynolds is just as pissed as we are and the pg-13 Disney approved version probably would have been filmed by now if it weren’t for him raising absolute hell and refusing to cooperate.
Keep on delaying the movie, king. We’ll wait.
if disney doesn’t allow deadpool 3 to be rated r, ryan reynolds should drop out and start a new independent project called “not alive pool”. idk it seems like what not alive pool would want rather than be suffocated by the corporate mouse
obsessed with the fact that today half of the internet was down and i didnt even notice because i was on tumblr, which, very ironically, was working perfectly fine
i went on fandom wiki at some point and it wasnt working and i said huh. weird? told a friend about it and they went “oh yeah like almost every major website isn’t working right now” and i was like huh. okay
this is from tODAY?
Tumblr is the sunfish of the internet: Thriving because we’ve evolutionarily perfected utter uselessness.