@taskmastercaps

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Bob Mortimer sits at a table, holding an uninflated red balloon, and wonders aloud, “Maybe… I can repair a balloon. So I could cut the balloon…” He gestures to Alex Horne and asks, “Am I allowed to have these thoughts?” From off-screen, Alex replies, “You can have whatever thoughts you want, Bob.” End ID.]

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Glaring, Greg Davies says, “Um, OK, Mark. What’s wrong with you?” The audience laughs as Mark Watson shrugs weakly. Nish Kumar pats him on the back, saying, “Come on, Watso.” Mark says, “It would take probably too long to go into…” End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Mark Watson grimaces fearfully and puts his fingers in his ears. A member of the sound crew knots the end of an inflated red balloon, while Mark covers his mouth with one hand and says, “Oh, this is making me feel very…” The crew member offers Mark the balloon and he cringes away. End ID.]

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Mark Watson approaches a table with a sealed envelope and an uninflated red balloon on it. Pulling out a chair to sit down, he says, “Oh, I don’t like things with balloons in.” From off-screen, Alex Horne asks, “You don’t like things with balloons?” Mark replies, “I don’t really like balloons, no. They make me nervous.” End ID.]

[ID: Five screencaps from Taskmaster. Sally Phillips pulls a chair out to sit down at a table, and Alex Horne says from off-screen, “Hi, Sally.” Sally replies, “Hello there, Andy.” Alex says, “Alex.” Sally says sheepishly, “Alex.” She and the audience laugh. End ID.]

[ID: Five screencaps from Taskmaster. Nish Kumar says, “It was a present that was given to me for my 21st birthday. So we’re talking ten years ago now, and it’s a mobile phone hands-free kit. And what it actually really is, it’s just a massive rubber band.” The studio screen shows a mannequin head with a thick neon-orange rubber band around it, and an old-school Nokia phone tucked into the band. The audience laughs. End ID.]

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Sally Phillips says, “I found a product so high-octane, it’s actually illegal in this country.” Greg Davies replies, “Now we’re talking.” Sally continues, “Yeah. High-octane feed for show pigs.” The studio screen shows a large sack labelled “PIGGY MAKE YA FAT: HIGH OCTANE SHOW PIG SUPPLEMENT”, and the audience laughs. End ID.]

[ID: Seven screencaps from Taskmaster. Mark Watson says to Greg Davies, “I thought, ‘What would I be most scared of?’ And the most frightening thing I could think of was stealing something. Specifically from you, um, Taskmaster. So my high-octane item is a pair of your trousers.” The audience laughs as Greg looks half amused, half outraged, and Mark grins. A pair of black trousers are shown on the studio screen and the audience laughs and applauds. End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Alex Horne curls up in a large dog bed at the foot of Greg Davies’ throne and pretends to sleep. Greg says, “Good boy,” and the audience applauds. End ID.]

[ID: Two screencaps from Taskmaster. Aisling Bea holds up a sheet of paper with a photo of Fred the Swede printed on it. She says, “Is this a famous Swede? Because he looks like he might be a murderer.” End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Mark Watson, holding a tube of ground white pepper, says, “I found some pepper but I don’t know whether it really works.” He attempts to snort a small pile of pepper off a tabletop, then says, “You can see why this isn’t the one that they end up doing at parties.” End ID.]

[ID: A screencap of Nish Kumar on Taskmaster, with a small yellow flower inserted into one nostril. He says, “This is very undignified.” End ID.]

[ID: A screencap from Taskmaster. Bob Mortimer inserts the tip of a fluffy toy cat’s tail up one nostril, and the audience laughs. End ID.]

[ID: Two screencaps from Taskmaster. Bob Mortimer wonders aloud, “What brings on sneezing? Jumping really high?” End ID.]

[ID: Two screencaps from Taskmaster. Aisling Bea asks Alex Horne sternly, “You’re not frightened of me, are you, Alex?” Greg Davies grins as Alex replies nervously, “I’m not frightened of you.” Aisling says, “See? He’s grand.” End ID.]

[ID: Seven screencaps from Taskmaster. Greg Davies asks Alex Horne, “What have you got for me, Alex?” Alex replies, “I’ve got you a little bracelet. A friendship bracelet.” He holds up the matching bracelets, saying, “There’s half a heart there. I’ve got the other half.” The audience goes, “Awww,” as Alex passes Greg a bracelet. Greg impatiently throws it off-screen and Alex looks chastened. They both stare into the camera and the audience laughs. End ID.]

[ID: A screencap from Taskmaster. Sally Phillips, Bob Mortimer and Aisling Bea stand on the driveway of the Taskmaster house, wearing matching sunglasses and boiler suits, and holding bottles of ketchup. Bob turns to Aisling and says, “I was fucking shit.” End ID.]

[ID: A screencap of Mark Watson on Taskmaster, saying, “I’m more about commitment than actual attainment.” End ID.]

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Aisling Bea says with disgust, “You weak, weak little turd, Alex Horne.” Alex stifles a laugh with one hand. Greg Davies says to him fondly, “You are weak.” Alex agrees, “Yes, I am. Yes, I am,” as Greg repeats, “You are weak.” End ID.]

[ID: Six screencaps from Taskmaster. Greg Davies says gleefully, “Aisling, he told me behind your back…” Aisling Bea looks stunned and says, “Behind my back?” Greg continues, “…that it tasted, and I quote, ‘Fuck all like Marmite’.” He makes air quotes mischievously and Alex Horne gasps. The audience laughs as Aisling removes her glasses to stare at Alex in shock. End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Smiling, Sally Phillips says, “What actually happened when he had the absinthe was he went bright purple and couldn’t speak for 20 minutes.” Alex Horne and the audience laugh. End ID.]

[ID: Nine screencaps from Taskmaster. Sally Phillips pours turquoise liquid from a jar onto a piece of toast, saying, “This is the best Marmite because it is not Marmite. It’s absinthe.” She watches Alex Horne take a bite of toast. He covers his mouth with one hand and says, “Oh my God.” Grinning, Sally bites the toast, and laughs as they both struggle to cope. Sally says, “Come on, that’s amazing.” Wide-eyed, Alex replies, “Yeah, it is amazing. I really feel drunk.” End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Nish Kumar says, “It’s not an ideal consistency,” as Alex Horne spreads a wet and lumpy brown paste onto a piece of toast. Alex passes Nish half of the toast and Nish asks, “Have you ever regretted this show?” Alex replies, “Not yet.” End ID.]

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Alex Horne, holding a jar of dark brown homemade liquid, asks, “Do I spread or pour Marmite? I can’t remember.” Mark Watson replies, “Oh, Marmite’s a spread. It’s a spread, it’s a spread.” Alex pours a puddle of the runny liquid onto a piece of toast and says, “Well, I’ve poured it.” Mark replies, “That’s not my fault, is it?” End ID.]

[ID: Eight screencaps from Taskmaster. Greg Davies taps Alex Horne’s leg with a finger, asking, “But did it taste like Marmite?” Aisling Bea points and stares threateningly, saying, “Alex, tell him the truth. Tell them the truth, Alex.” Greg says, “God, I can feel the force of her.” Aisling whispers fiercely, “Tell them the truth.” Alex says, “Tasted a little bit like Marmite.” Greg asks, “A little bit?” Aisling continues staring as Alex replies, “Yes. And the eyes, they’re so angry, so shall we move on to Mark?” End ID.]

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. Alex Horne holds a jar of light brown paste with a hand-drawn label that says “Marmite”. Aisling Bea watches him spread the paste on a piece of toast, and says, “It’s all edible, it’s all natural.” Alex replies, “So your main selling point is, ‘It’s all edible.’” Aisling says, “Yeah.” End ID.]

[ID: Eight screencaps from Taskmaster. In the Taskmaster lab, Bob Mortimer says thoughtfully, “It says beef extract on it. Maybe… put a cow in a room till it withers? And then they can mop up… what’s the residue?” Later, in the studio, Greg Davies asks, “How long does the cow take to…?” Smiling, Bob replies, “Forty days. Forty days, you get your first residue around the hoof.” Greg and the audience laugh. End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Nish Kumar holds up a small, empty jar, and asks, “How much would you give me to take a shit in this right now?” He grins as Alex Horne replies, “£8.” Nish and the audience laugh. End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. From off-screen, Alex Horne says, “Hello, Nish,” as Nish Kumar enters the Taskmaster lab. Nish replies, “How’s it hangin’?” Alex asks, “What do you mean?” Undeterred, Nish says, “How are you doing?” End ID.]

[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Greg Davies says, “The least extraordinary gift, as far as I’m concerned, is Woody Woodpecker. OK? And I’m not going to explain myself on television.” Alex Horne smiles and the audience laughs. End ID.]