One of the things I remember from my childhood is that I was what they’d call a “sensitive child”. A lot of things bothered me and I was prone to feeling bad physically and emotionally, and when I would voice my complaints, my parents and adults around me would often tell me to “stop suffering”, and when I pointed out that without the cause of my suffering stopping, I can also not stop suffering, they’d say “then suffer quietly”.
And I did.
I went through a lot of different hells on my own, without having a single adult I would trust with my feelings, and of course there are many reasons for this, but one of it was the fact that I’ve been taught not to complain if something was hurting me.
And you know what? Fuck that.
As a traumatised adult, I would like to tell y'all who are out there suffering right now, DO COMPLAIN! DO SUFFER LOUDLY! LET THE WORLD KNOW WHAT’S AILING YOU AND LET THE PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP YOU! There is no virtue in bearing your cross in silence, there is no value in not bothering someone else’s status quo just so your suffering doesn’t inconvenience them, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!
It’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to point out if you’re hurt, it’s ok to have different or more extensive needs than others and if people try to shame you for that, the shame is really on them. Your comfort, your feelings, your safety matters as well, and even if taking care of you or changing some things for your sake is inconvenient for your loved ones, they’d surely rather have you safe and happy than a wreck lost to the status quo.