I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.
He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.
I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.
He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.
His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.
He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.
He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.
The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.
To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.
1. Get consent.
2. Give warning.
3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots
4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force)
5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe.
6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.
All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.
Too important not to reblog
I am so sorry for what you experienced @ifitpleasuresme. Thank you for sharing this wake-up call.
Signal boost. If you go charging into a scene thinking you can act like they act in those gonzo BDSM porn loops, you’re a fool. Always keep the Safe in Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If you are not absolutely sure of what you’re doing in a scene, don’t fucking do it.
Even a wake call for 24/7 dynamics, because it’s too easy to become complacent with your play, and forget to check in with your partner about if anything has changed.
This wasiin my que.. but @hiswifeslut hit the real nail on the head here!
I had a much lighter experience - where after some rough face fucking in an awkward position, I awoke the next morning unable to rotate my neck all the way. The chiropractor said 3 of my cervical vertebrae had been rotated or slipped. I don’t even know what I came up with as an excuse for that one lol. He was able to adjust them back into place.
It’s important to know how to take care of acute injuries- I actually had to wait two days because it was the weekend to see my chiropractor. In the mean time I iced my neck and took ibuprofen. Had the injury been more severe there is a real chance that even just swelling and inflammation could cause irreparable damage to the spinal cord or surrounding structures. Ice and ibuprofen are go-to when you need to treat acute injuries that have caused or could cause dangerous inflammation.
The neck is such a common feature in sex and bdsm play. It’s so important to be aware of how it’s angled and how it’s handled during sex and scenes. Always put safety first and remember to pull- not yank on anyone’s hair or head!!
I was very sad to read the OP. I am so glad the OP posted it though because it is such an important message that needs to echo throughout the bdsm and even vanilla communities.
I come back to this post pretty often. I actively and deliberately seek it out.
You want to know why?
Because this is the harsh reality of the potential damage that kink done improperly can cause.
It’s very easy to get caught up in all the extreme activities and the rough and tumble type of play that we all love, but every so often we need to all be given a reality check that firmly plants our feet back on the ground. Something that forces us to revalue the mantra of “Safe, Sane and Consensual.”
This post for me is my wake-up all. It humbles me and grounds me every single time I read it, and I applaud with all the strength in my hands the woman that was courageous enough to post it.
Safety always comes first and I’ll be damned if I ever forget it.
Reblogging in honour of 5 years post-surgery ❤️
I will never ever not reblog this. My acquaintance with life altering neck injuries is real and strong. The number of scary hair pulling gifs I see on here is appalling.
That’s probably verbatim to the last time I reblogged this. So be it.
And this is why I allow so few people to pull my hair.