Law & Order: Criminal Intent
----> Amends AE
Alex realised her eyeliner had been smeared slightly under her eyes, as she took a glance into the mirror after she’d gotten home. She’d been on the verge of tears a couple of times today but she actually had thought she’d been able to hold them back. Obviously, this wasn’t the case. She’d wondered how long she’d been running around like this. She took a soft pad out of the space behind her bathroom mirror and cleared both her eyes from makeup residue. Her eyes were left red and swollen from the makeup remover that’d run into them. Her eyes burned like fire, and water gathered to extinguish it until it ran over her lower lid and traced down her cheeks. What good did this day do, Alex asked herself as she involuntarily recapitulated the past day in her head. She’d solved the murder of her husband, well Bobby did, but Alex neither felt joy nor relieve. She had already found someone guilty for her husbands murder years ago and although she knew an innocent man had been behind bars for eight years, and that wasn’t right, she just couldn’t get herself to feel at ease. Her husband, a great man and a good cop, was still dead. So was her best friends husband and nothing would ever change that. Then, could she even call her her best friend if they only saw each other twice in ten years for their husbands funerals. Seeing Theresa Quinn like that in the hospital three days ago, helplessly staring at her with empty eyes, put her right back there into that same position. Joe had been dead for eight years now, and she had made her peace with it, but she still couldn’t believe the unfairness of it all.
A knock on the door startled her, tearing her out of her thoughts. She focused again on the puffy-eyed, tear-stained reflection staring back at her from the mirror. A woman with more lines on her face than eight years ago but with the same pain in her eyes. She threw an old cardigan over her strappy top, clutching her fingers around the oversized sleeves. At the second knock she got herself to move towards the front door of her apartment. She checked the peephole out of habit, but later realised she didn’t even look who was out front. She pulled the door open as if it was a reflex, only to identify Bobby’s figure standing lonesome in the mild night air.
„Hey I … uh … brought dinner, I thought you might be hungry? Uh… Or want company?“ Bobby shyly held a brown takeout bag in his hands, moving a step away from Alex’ door. She forced a weak smile onto her face and stepped away from the doorway. Bobby followed her invitation and entered the apartment. “I hope … uh …Chinese is fine!“ Bobby asked awkwardly putting the takeout bag down on her living room table.
“Of course, thank you.“ Alex replied, her voice horse and silent. She settled herself down on the couch leaving room for Bobby to settle next to her. He reached her a Chinese noodle box and two chop sticks then got some for himself before finally placing himself next to her. While he gulped down one piece of Noodles with vegetables and chicken after the other he stole glances over to Alex. More and more he found her stirring aimlessly in her food. His eyes kept lingering on her as he realised she didn’t notice. His look swayed over her make up-less face, revealing the heavy bags under her eyes. He imagined it came from day’s of insomnia and restlessness. He carefully observed the tiny veins making her eyes appear a light red. Her lashes were still clinging together from being wet.
“So … Delgado has been released, he’s back home with his family ’is what they told me…“ Bobby tried to engage. Alex just sighed in response not averting her eyes off her food. “I’m sorry I stirred everything up again with digging back into Joe’s case.“ Bobby apologised, setting his food box down on the table
“It had to be done … I guess.“ Alex muttered, still poking in her food rather than eating. After a while she put her dinner on the table as Bobby had done. “Why don’t I feel better, Bobby?“ She finally looked up meeting his eyes. Her lips had curled into a barely visible line and Bobby could sense her clench her teeth as not to burst into tears in front of him.
“I know..“ Bobby began, but he soon realised he couldn’t find words to explain.
“I’m glad Delgado had gotten out, he didn’t deserve jail … but does Mani? He’s a doctor now, he saves lives, what good is he behind bars?“ Alex voice broke as she tried to convey her feelings to her partner.
“It’s justice. It’s just how it works…“ Bobby reasoned.
“But is it? It doesn’t bring Joe back and it doesn’t bring Quinn back either…“ she wiped an escaping tear off her cheek with her sleeve. “All theses years I had someone to hate. I thought I’d known the circumstances in which my husband had died… in cold blood by a lowlife drug dealer. Now? A confused kid that had turned into a valuable asset to society is put behind bars for shooting someone who was only reaching for his shield.“ Alex wasn’t able to keep up with the wiping as the tears now streamed down her cheeks like small rivers. “He died grabbing his shield, Bobby. He wanted to protect the boy and he paid with his life how is that fair?“ She sobbed trying to make sense of it all. Bobby watched her crouched on the couch next to him hugging her legs shaking from head to toe. He’d never actually seen his partner like that, heartbroken and upset. Bobby wasn’t good at comforting people. He could reason with them, try to explain, try with words to ease their mind, but this second he found him self incapable. Not one sentence formed in his head that proved itself worthy to be spit out. Alex was right. There was no fairness here, no justice, there was nothing left to explain or reason with. He found himself unable to soothe her in a way he knew he could, but he also couldn’t just watch her suffer like she did. He’d played it over in his head several times before finally taking up the courage to reach over to her, putting his arms on her shoulder to show her he was there. Just three days ago Bobby himself had been crouched on the floor of his apartment, hugging his legs much like Alex did now. He’d been on leave for almost two weeks, alone with his thoughts, alone with his struggles. The numb and apathetical feeling that had overtaken him had left him powerless and sad. It was only when Alex had called that he’d picked himself up from the floor and got going again. Working cases with Alex was the only real reason he could think of to get out of bed in the morning. She’d saved him so many times, now it ws his turn. He squeezed her shoulder slightly, as his long arm reached around her. Before he even knew it he felt her slip into his arms entirely, burying her face in his chest. His arms naturally wrapped themselves around her pulling her closer as if that’s what they’d been destined to do. He knew there was nothing he could say to make her feel better, but apparently sometimes words weren’t needed.
Fade to Black
But made 100 % better by me