You wrote a novel about a demon falling in love with a human. Then, you summon a demon in order to get “real” feedback and constructive criticism. To your surprise, the demon laughs at your work.
You told me from the
start that you couldn’t love.
But still my heart
yearned for some response.
My hand reached out in
the dark, hoping to touch you.
But only emptiness was
there to meet it.
I danced around the fiery pentagram, chanting in Latin while
dripping blood from a small cut on my finger into the center of the drawing
made of grave dirt and bone, all the while keeping an eye out on the clock on
I only had 15 minutes before my casserole was done.
Finishing the chant with the ease of years of practice, I
leaned back to avoid the plume of Hellfire that spewed from the portal that
opened up. Changing out of my ceremonial robes, I got back into my comfy
pajamas and checked on my casserole while the new arrival was settling in.
She stood about eight feet tall, her head brushing the light
fixture on the ceiling in my living room. Her four arms ended in long claws
that dripped venom, making me glad that I thought to put a stain resistant
rubber mat underneath the summoning circle. Her eyes burned with the flames of
Hell, the fire that continuously lived within her, the source of her power. She
grinned at me when I walked in with a bowl of my freshly made casserole,
showing rows upon rows of pointed teeth.
“Hey Kara, is there any casserole left for me?”
I waved with my spoon before sitting down to dig into my
“Hey Baph, help yourself, it’s in the kitchen. I couldn’t
remember whether or not Satan still had you on the meat ban so left side is
“Nah he forgot all about that six months ago.”
“Probably shouldn’t scare the tourists by pretending to be
him next time though.”
Baphotera, the sixth highest lieutenant in Hell, sat down
across from me, laughing as she began to eat the casserole as well.
“Yeah, but it was too funny showing up at a Satanist meeting
and telling them to “Go out and do good deeds.”
She shook her head. “They were so confused!”
“Yeah, and Satan was pissed.”
“Ugh, I had to be a vegetarian for a year, don’t remind me.”
She chewed the pasta with obvious relish. “Either way, Kara, I’m sure you
didn’t summon me to help you eat your dinner, much as I appreciate the home-cooked meal. What’s going on?”
I stared down at my bowl, a little unsure of how to begin.
“So… your brother may be a little pissed at me come tomorrow.”
“Valaac?” She cocked her head to the side, confused. “What
did you do to piss him off?”
“Well… remember when we stopped talking last year?” She
nodded to my question, obviously still confused. “I was really mad… and kind of
drunk… and I maybe just sorta…” I paused and spoke out the rest in a quiet
rush. “Wrote a book using him as the main character.”
Baph laughed loudly, one of her hands slapping her knee.
“Okay, that sounds pretty funny, but why…”
“I finished it in the same night, and submitted it to my
best friend Alice who’s in publishing. She thought it was hilarious that I
drunk emailed her a book manuscript, and got the whole dang thing published and
only told me today.”
“That’s… weird… but why would…”
“Look at it.” I handed it over to her, shuddering at the
picture of a handsome, passionate looking young man with computer drawn devil
horns added on that graced the cover. Baph glanced at the picture on the front
with a chuckle, and then read the back cover, her green face turning more and
more blue and she did.
“This… is a crappy teen romance novel.”
“You made him into an intense brooding romance lead paired
with the most Mary Sue female lead ever.”
My head ducked down. “Yep.”
“You used his real name?!!!”
“Umm… only the first half. They can’t forcibly summon him
without the second half.”
“But he’ll still hear it when they try. There’s going to be so many teenage girls
trying to summon him once they read this… it will drive him insane!”
I scraped the bottom of my bowl with my spoon, but it was
empty. “I realize that. It was the point of writing it… I think. I was really,
REALLY drunk when I wrote this.”
Baph finally broke. She laughed, so hard that she fell out
of her chair and rolled around on the floor. I let her go on, having time to do
the dishes and put away the leftovers before she finally calmed down.