Question: How exactly is Amber Heard oppressing anyone? It never occurred that she might be telling the truth? That Johnny Depp is most likely an abusive asshole and beat her up because he’s a queerphobic misogynist. Also during the divorce when she got his money she donated all of it to organizations that help fight to end violence against women and toward women’s shelters. So why don’t we let THAT sink in.
I was going to write something about this whole JD-AH mess, but since I got this, I figured I’ll do it here.
When Amber Heard came out saying that she was a victim of domestic abuse back in 2016, I believed her. she came out saying that JD was abusive and controlling, that he was paranoid about her friends and thought that she had cheated on him with some of them. As a bisexual woman who has her own history of abuse (not domestic) and her own experiences of biphobia, I felt emotially compelled to support her.
I mean, she wouldn’t be lying about something as serious as domestic violence, right? Especially in what was the genesis of the #metoo and Time’s Up movements.
As the divorce was taken to court, it became a media circus, full with “he said, she said”. Both parties presented a great amount of evidence. But Heard’s case of domestic violence against JD was dismissed with prejudice, by herself. What does it mean? That AH’s case could not be brought back to court.
Since then, she’s been one of the public faces of the #metoo movement and human rights campaigns, she gave a speech at this year’s Women’s March and even wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post about domestic violence and harrasement. She became a spokeperson for survivors of abuse.
But then, last year, Depp came forward saying that he was the one that suffered from domestic violence. JD maintained his innocence throughout this whole ordeal, saying that he was never violent, that he never attacked her. He even filed a lawsuit for defamation in May 2019, trying to stop AH’s alleged “campaing to damage his reputation”. With this, the media circus started again, with AH coming forward with more accounts of the abuse she allegedly suffered from JD.
But, weeks ago, an audio surfaced in which is crystal clear that AH was the violent on in the relationship. Here are some of the things that are said in that audio [TW for mentions of domestic violence] :
For those of you who haven’t heard the first tape (you can find transcripts of boths leaked audios here), AH is accusing Johnny of leaving her. But to put things in perspective, he leaves when things get intense (physical violence). AH basically admits that this is not the first time things get physical. She blames JD for their fights, saying that when he leaves these situations, he’s actually making things worse. She’s also convinced that her initiating physical fights with him is the same as him defending himself, which JD refers to in the audio. The altercation being mentioned is the one that happened in May 2016, weeks before AH filed for divorce. This confirms that physical violence was recurrent on her end.
She also continues to victim blame JD, a tactic used by abusers. “If you poke an animal enough, eventually… it doesn’t matter how friendly it is” she says to him, putting all the blame of the beating on him. “It’s your fault I’m doing this to you, you made me do this”. Classic abusive behavior. She says that if it weren’t for her love of him, she would’ve left already, but as it is, she’s the only one fighting for the relationship. She’s brave and strong, while JD is lazy and a coward (her words, not mine).
When JD confronts her about her getting violent, she retorts by saying that sometimes she gets angry, that it is to be expected because she’s human. She sees physical violence as a normal response to her anger. I don’t know about y’all, but when I get angry I don’t start screaming at people and throwing stuff at them or hitting them. She keeps on victim blaming, saying how he makes her feel bad by making her look like a tyrant and a bully, which she actually seems to be, if you listen to the audio.
Then, she admits to throwing pots and pans at him. Let THAT sink in for a moment. She activately says she throws stuff at him when she’s angry, but that’s not all. She says that her throwing pots, pans and vases is irrelevant. She says her violent actions are irrelevant because when all is said and
thrown done, he’s doesn’t go to her door to apologize. She’s complaining about being the one having to apologize. She’s trying to guilt-trip her victim into apologizing for her own violent behaviour.
She also admits to hitting him the previous night, downplaying the gravity of her actions:
You didn’t get punched. You got hit! I’m sorry I hit you like this, but I did not punch you! I did not fucking deck you! I FUCKING WAS HITTING YOU! I don’t know WHAT the motion of my actual hand was but you’re fine! I did not hurt you! I did not punch you! I was hitting you!
She yells at him, calling him a baby for going out of the room when she was getting physical. She tells them to “grow the fuck up”. She sees herself as the one being mature because she can handle “hard times”, when in reality, it’s just her being violent to her SO.
The conversation goes on, discussing the previous night and previous incidents. But something that is bone-chilling is the fact that she says that she cannot promise to not get physical again. She justifies any violent behaviour as her “being human”, which goes on to show her toxic understanding of what a relationship is and should be.
The second audio is about her threat to JD about exposing him as an abuser. She tells him she has an incredible amount of well documented, time-stamped evidence of his alleged abuse, something that has been gojng on for years.
When you hear it, it’s basically like hearing a super-villain reveal their plans to the hero when they have them trapped on a corner. She goes into detail about her evidence, telling him how no one would believe that it was fake.
JD is calm in his response, telling her that he loves her and that he would rather not go to court (not make any of this public), since it would be damaging for both of them. He’s offering a way out before it turns into a media circus.
She mentions her reputation. At this point, her statements were already being questioned.
One example is the incident from December 2015, in which she claims JD violently attacked her (she mentions being afraid for her life), while JD claims that it was AH that physically attacking him, leaving scratch marks across his face. Later that night, they were seen out and about in LA; JD had his face covered with big sunglasses and a hat, while AH had no discernible injuries (she claimed to have a bashed nose, which would’ve been impossible to hide with make-up).
Another example is the one altercation that happened in Australia in March 2015 while JD was filming Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. This was the altercation in which JD almost lost a finger. AH claims JD did it to himself while being high. JD claims his injury was caused by AH when she threw a bottle of vodka at him, which impacted on a cabinet near him, causing one of the shards of glass to cut off great part of his finger. Production had to be put on hold for several days after the altercation.
When JD brings up the incident on Australia, AH loses it. She says the following:
You can please tell people that it was a fair fight, and see what the jury and the judge thinks. Tell the world Johnny! Tell them Johnny Depp, “I, Johnny Depp… a man… I’m a victim too of domestic violence!”
[…] see how many people believe OR side with you!
When JD asks her if she believes herself to be an abuser, she responds by saying that since she’s a woman, there’s no way she could ever overpower him. When he brings up the fact that all the physical altercations were started by her, this is her response:
You’re going to get up on the stand Johnny, and say [in a mocking tone] “she started it”. Really?! I have never been able to overpower you! That’s the difference between me and you!
And that’s a difference, that a whole world, and that a jury and that a judge will see that there’s a very big difference between me and you!
She’s banking on the fact that she’s a woman and that she could never hurt him, except she most certainly did… numerous times.
I believed AH, as ton of people did. I believed her when she said she was abused by JD. Only to find out, years later, that the abuser was her all along. I feel ashamed because I wasn’t able to catch the lies. But as she says in the second audio, she planted every step of the way. She used the #metoo and Time’s Up movements to further her lies. She used a community to support those lies. It’s despicable and utterly disgusting. It’s appalling that someone would even dare to use other people’s pain and suffering like that.
So, to answer your question, anon. How is it exactly that Amber Heard is oppressing people?
Well, for starters, she most likely lied about her abuse (exposed in the first leaked audio, her plan on framing JD explained in detail in the second leaked audio). What does this mean? It means it will make it 1000x harder for real victims of abuse to come forward. It will make it harder for victims of abuse to be heard and believed. Her lies give abusers ammo to counter-argue the results of their abuse.
One of the things she used to support her allegations of abuse was JD’s biphobia, something that a lot of people (myself included) go through. There’s already this perception of bi people as being two-faced, deceitful people. We’re already being accused, both by straight people and people in the LGBTQ+ community, of being attention seekers. Her lies do nothing but harm the bisexual community, which already has to face a lot of prejudice.
So yeah, she’s oppressing two groups of people with her despicable actions.
She used the pain of survivors feel every single day.
She used the prejudice bisexual people face every single day.
So why don’t we let ALL OF THAT sink in, hm?