the more you let go, the higher you rise
everyone does not hate you or think you’re embarrassing. your insecurities are lying to you. the people around you actually appreciate you a lot. the right people do care about you, and they think you’re awesome. don’t beat yourself up thinking others see you as something you’re not.
“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.”
do you ever wonder why stephanie meyer had the cullens live in a small town to preserve their “anonymity?” has she ever been to a small town??? small town people got nothing to do all day, other than to gossip and think about those weird people that live in the forest. if anything, they’re getting the opposite of anonymity. you want real anonymity? live in a big city. you could live next to someone for 5 years and never even learn their name. they’re up all night? they’re beautiful, looks like they had some crazy good plastic surgery? you never see them go outside? somehow hella fuckin rich? yeah. That’s LA
I never really thought about this before but “suffer in silence” is a Christian thing? It’s supposed to be a virtue and you’re generally criticized for complaining. Even the Pope called complainers “whiners,” and said we should suffer in silent endurance (in a homily on May 7th, 2013).
I grew up soaking in that attitude, and I know I’ve internalized it a great deal. I’m working on recognizing it, but I still catch myself thinking that way all too often.
I’m reading Why Be Jewish? by Edgar Bronfman, and he takes a different view. Complaint is a Jewish pastime, he says, with biblical roots, and he points out that it’s both natural and necessary: “…complaint arises from a sense of deep dissatisfaction. Without complaint, there is no criticism, there is no vision of the way things can be. Complaint is the beginning of the vision of a better world. It rejects complacency and it rejects the status quo.”
It occurs to me that the social enforcement of “suffering in silence” serves the ends of capitalism quite effectively. I’m going to make a point to complain a little more and a little louder in the service of change.