Happiness? have some cake Trauma? have some cake
there’s a part of elliot page’s interview with oprah i can’t stop thinking about where he talks about the amount of energy he has now (physically, creatively, mentally) because he’s no longer spending every waking moment fighting his panic, deppression and anxiety surrounding his gender. he even says how he can’t remember having this much energy since he was a kid. and i’m just…so happy for him! because u can see it! you can see it in how he’s sitting comfortably and smiling and talking enthusiastically, and god i wish that euphoria and peace on every trans person and every person whose energy is being consumed by invisible struggles they’re facing. i know i hope to find that energy again someday too.
Okay, 911 fandom. Let’s chat. Again.
One of the people I consider to be part of my online support system, @claire-nyc received this ask:
It reads: “eddies said a lot of the same things that ana has to chris, yet no one is caling his interactions with chris ableist, so, what makes it different with ana?”
Oh, nonnie. Nonnie, nonnie, nonnie. I hope you’re ready for a lesson in character growth!
Remember the flashback in Eddie Begins when Shannon and Eddie are arguing because Eddie re-enlisted without consulting her? Not only was he running away from his responsibilities because he didn’t know how to deal with Christopher’s disability, he referred to it as an “illness”. Using that term makes it sound like we’ve been infected by a disease, and that’s not very nice, is it?
Then, in the very same scene he claims his motivation for re-enlisting was in large part due to Christopher’s medical/therapy bills. This? Not it. Eddie is essentially saying his child is fucking with his money. He can’t live the life he wants/expected to because now his finances have to go to more important things.
HOWEVER. Eddie Begins also gave us a glimpse at how his priorities changed once he was discharged from the Army. Helena and Ramon point out that Eddie is literally killing himself working three (3!!!) jobs to provide for Christopher while he continues aiming for a career as a firefighter.
Then, when Eddie steps out on the front porch and finds his son seeking refuge from the noise, a much-need conversation takes place. Eddie asks Christopher if he ever missed him while he was away. This is SO IMPORTANT ❕❕❕
Eddie could have taken his parents at their word and left Christopher again. What did he do instead? Ask his son point-blank if he missed his father while he was away. Eddie wanted to hear from Christopher’s own mouth that he was getting by just fine without him. To his surprise, Christopher admits that he misses his father all the time. That was all it took. “I’m never gonna leave you again.”
I need to take a moment to get emosh over the morning routine montage featuring the Diaz boys. To the average viewer, it’s a cute scene between father and son. Not for me, though!
Eddie is exercising alongside Christopher, offering words of encouragement “Keep going, my little Superman!” 🥺😭 A PARENT THAT ACTIVELY PARTICIPATES IN THEIR DISABLED CHILD’S PT PROGRAM. A PARENT THAT IS QUICK TO COMPLIMENT THEIR CHILD’S EFFORTS. 😭🥺
And then we switch over to hair combing/teeth brushing/getting dressed. Y’all. Listen. I know those are mundane tasks that most of you perform on autopilot, but when you have cerebral palsy, there is no guarantee that what you do today can be done just as easily tomorrow, and the realization hits harder as we age. The fact that Eddie allows Christopher to care for himself in whatever way possible for as long as he can is AH-MAZING!. Eddie could be a “helpful” parent and dress his son or comb his hair. Maybe even put the toothpaste on the toothbrush. All that would do, however, is mess with Christopher’s self esteem. All that would do is make Christopher believe he’s “too stupid” to be independent (I say this from experience).
Another example of Eddie’s beautiful heart was given to us after Shannon’s death when, once again, Eddie’s parents try to convince him what’s best for Christopher. Remember how Eddie felt? “Being with me is what’s best for Christopher.” How can we not love him for that?
Okay, now, stick with me.
If you bothered to check out tags on gifsets you would see that I commented on Eddie’s remark in 3.01 that “[Christopher] never feels sorry for himself.”
#real talk: i love eddie and i understand what the writers were trying to do in this scene
#but ‘he never feels sorry for himself’ is a little too close to inspiration porn for my liking
#disabled children are allowed to feel negative emotions icydk
#we hide them to make everyone else more comfortable
#what would have been better is if eddie said chris has bad days, too, and buck could ask how he deals with them to gain a new POV
But then Eddie did something two episodes later that restored my faith. It was a tiiiiiny detail, like, blink-and-you-miss-it. See the first gif? Really look at it. Eddie starts to back away before Christopher is firmly situated on the edge of the table. He trusts his son to make himself comfortable without further assistance. Do you know how many times I’ve thought someone was going to dislocate my shoulder or elbow because they were gripping me so tightly as I transferred (thinking they were being helpful)? Do you know how many times I’ve had to say “No, it’s fine. I got it. Really.”? Do you know how ANNOYING that is???
Which brings us to… the skateboard episode.
Let’s get this out of the way: His reaction to Christopher’s injuries, though understandable, was not ideal. “Let’s push the kid with CP around on a skateboard for fun. You let them make a fool out of my son.”
Two things we need to address here. Christopher Diaz is more than “the kid with CP” and that phrase coming from his own father would sting were he there to hear it. I am often referred to as “the girl in the wheelchair” because that’s all most people see (not just by strangers, either) and let me tell ya… not the best feeling! “You let them make a fool out of my son” is also a poor choice of words. Christopher is not a “fool” for wanting to try something new. He is not a “fool” for being unaware that certain activities are going to be more difficult than others.
Eddie’s ignorance continued when he told Carla he did not want his son to know he has limitations (”I’m not gonna tell my kid that.”) RULE NUMBERS ONE AND TWO WHEN RAISING A DISABLED CHILD: 1) Make sure your child knows they have a disability and 2) Explain what it means. Christopher confirms that Eddie never took the correct approach by saying “You always said I can do anything. You lied.” Eddie told Christopher he can do anything because admitting otherwise would make it seem like there was something “wrong” with him. I understand the thought process, I think his intentions were good, but YOU ARE SETTING YOUR CHILD UP TO FAIL IF YOU DO THIS.
You know what happened later in the episode? Eddie admitted he lied. (”I lied to him. Or maybe I lied to myself. Either way, I feel like a fool.”) Accountability! We love to see it. Eddie is skeptical still (”I’m just not sure how any amount of practice is gonna help Chris stay on a skateboard.”), and we aren’t sure in that moment how the dilemma is resolved.
The next time we see Eddie and Chris, Eddie finally (FINALLY!!!) tells his child he’s not like everybody else. HIS STRENGTH. I MUST APPLAUD IT. And then!!! Eddie tells Chris that he has a “black thumb”, unlike his son who was the best at growing plants in his science class. “There’s something you’re better at than me.” Just because your dad can walk (without assistance) doesn’t make him a smarter than you, Chris! Remember that!
So… what happened with the skateboard?
We have no idea what the conversation would have been between Buck and Eddie as they brainstormed and built the contraption, but Eddie absolutely deserves credit for going along with the idea, no matter how nervous he may have been. Eddie understood how much doing this specific activity meant to his child. He decided his fears were not as important as Christopher’s feelings, especially once he found out there was a way to make it happen.
Eddie Diaz is exactly the type of parent all disabled children need in their lives. He makes mistakes and learns from them. He doesn’t have all the answers and no longer pretends to. The most important quality that makes Eddie Diaz a desirable parent, however, is the unconditional love he has for his son. Christopher is able to grow up knowing that his father loved him enough to stay.
still a vessel of rage about the fact that we literally had an active shooter situation last episode where the 118 was under fire and they showed eddie, A VETERAN WITH PTSD RELATED TO BEING SHOT AT, for approximately two seconds and gave him one line
I see a lot of people jumping the buddie wagon and i’m like ‘???’ One roadblock in your ship and you’re out? could not be me. i’m a veteran here, i shipped bellarke and destiel through everything that the 100 and spn threw at fans so honestly, buddie is smooth sailing in comparison. I’m a clown till the end babes<3
Things an “Eddie starting to date again” arc should have dealt with:
1) The fact that he hasn’t dated at all in a solid decade at least because he was with Shannon.
2) The fact that he has major insecurities about his own worth, especially as a romantic partner, because of the way his relationship with Shannon ended (both the first time AND the second time).
3) The relationship between his insecurities and doubts about his own worth as a romantic partner and similar insecurities and doubts about his abilities as a father.
4) The overall complexity of dating as a single parent, including a meaningful exploration of Eddie and Christopher’s relationship in relation to the issue of Eddie dating again.
5) Related to the last point, a meaningful exploration of Christopher’s reaction to Eddie dating again (I don’t count 4x8 because the half-assed explanation for why he was upset didn’t make any sense and we saw no resolution)
There are various other things, but this list is already long enough.
Things we’ve gotten instead:
1) None of the above.
They really said “Ali 2.0″ without acknowledging they couldn’t just recycle the concept because a) Eddie and Shannon were not Buck and Abby and Eddie’s reasons for not moving on were different from Buck’s in S2, and b) Eddie is a single parent which inherently changes the dynamic and raises the stakes.
being a tarlos shipper is just reblogging eight different gifsets in a row of the same thirty second scene cause it’s all the content you’ve gotten this week and you’re just happy it didn’t get cut