“Lara and I”
©2021, Kirsten Rothbart
as someone with really bad social anxiety, i used to be TERRIFIED whenever i went to restaurants. but now i work at a restaurant and i have a little secret for you.
the staff? no one cares! i used to be so paranoid that i would do something weird and be judged for it, but now that i’ve worked at a restaurant for almost a month, i can assure you that everyone is too busy doing their job and making sure the establishment run smoothly to judge you.
if i see you sitting by yourself, i’ll be appreciative that i only need to remember one drink order. i don’t question anyone’s social status or why they’re alone because i’m just trying to get through to 3 o’clock when my shift ends. my favorite customers are the ones who come in on their own and stop and chat with you while you bring them their drinks.
i never ever notice what you’re doing while you eat your meal (most of the time i don’t even remember what you got, and if i do it’s because i’m starving and considering ordering it for myself when i get off my shift). i don’t look at you while you’re eating. if i am looking at your table, it’s most likely because i’m checking to see if your drink needs to be refilled, not you yourself. i can’t recall a single memory of watching someone eat their food in the entire time i’ve worked here.
difficulty making small talk? ME TOO! my brain is focused on whether or not table 3 needs more chips or if it’s time to fill the ice machine. chances are, i won’t remember the 8th conversation i’ve had that day about the weather even if you did mix up your words or stutter on a sentence.
struggling to add up numbers and complete the bill paying process? guess what, me too! i went into the back to use the calculator to get your total. i’ll leave you to your privacy while you pull up your calculator app or count on your fingers. in the meantime i’ll restock the napkins, as long as your bill gets paid eventually, i have no problem with waiting a few extra minutes. it makes no difference in my day.
i hope i could at least ease some of your worries. i think this all boils down to: no one is scrutinizing your every move. our brains can be cruel places sometimes and convince us that we are just abominations to society. but everyone else is so wrapped up in their own lives that nobody will notice the things that you beat yourself up about. in the grand scheme of things, the way you phrase your food order makes absolutely no difference in the universe. it sounds cheesy but you truly are your own worst critic.
so go enjoy your meal out! you deserve it :)
Curious Polar bear (Ursus maritimus) standing upright and looking through porthole into the kitchen of arctic expedition ship M/S Stockholm in Svalbard, Spitsbergen, Norway by Andy Rouse
Hahaha that’s great. By the way, this is the picture of him with his head in.
He would like his order to be taken sometime soon
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????
That last fatal scream tho
THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH
I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it
HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK
IT’S BACK?? ON MY DASH?
I’VE ONLY SEEN IT IN COMPLATIONS
Goldstone Books in South Wales is no longer accepting donations of 50 Shades of Grey.
Employees created a fort out of their hundreds of surplus copies because nobody will take them, and they can’t be recycled due to a type of glue in their binding.
Because 50sog SUCKS
at long last…the horny jail
yeah so… the first source leads to an article about “50 Nerds of Grey” which is absolutely hilarious but has nothing to do with this beyond the 50 Shades
the second source just links to the store’s Facebook page, and it took 5 minutes of scrolling before I found that photo. there is also no caption, and only by zooming way in and squinting could I see that the book was 50 Shades of Grey
the third source links to an article about how bookshops in general are having a hard time getting rid of the books and can’t recycle them because of the glue, but nowhere does it mention Goldstone Books or anything about making a fort out of books
don’t get me wrong this story is really funny but. sourcing is questionable
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL
“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”
My mom learned it because she figured she’ll go deaf when she gets old
My family went holiday SCUBA diving once, and a couple of Deaf guys were in the group. I was really little and I spent most of the briefing overcome with the realization that while the rest of us were going to have regulators in our mouths and be underwater fairly soon, they were going to be able to do all the same stuff and keep talking.
The only reason some form of sign language is not a standard skill is ableism, as far as I can tell.
For anyone interested in learning, Bill Vicars has full lessons of ASL on youtube that were used in my college level classes.
and here’s the link to the website he puts in his videos:
I love thrift stores so much I just bought 300 grams of yarn for $4 and I am T H R I V I N G (plaintext: thriving)
WATCH THIS: MAN SHUTS DOWN ANTISEMITIC WHITE POWER PREACHER
One of my friends in the Boston area took this video and gave me permission to post it. She writes: “ I stood there for twenty minutes, easily. Hitler Youth kept trying to preach about “the evils of the Jews” and the big guy barely let him get a word in edgewise. At one point, the big guy yelled, “I will be here ALL DAY” and the crowd cheered.”
I promise this will be the best thing you see today.
Where’s a goddamn bullhorn when you need it?
wow that preacher is probably shitting his pants low key with some big ass biker that close to his face
Caption for those who need it– the guy in the suit is saying shit like “all races must serve us as put here by God” and a lot of racist/anti Semitic drivel.
Every time he opens his mouth to speak though, the biker yells “AHHHHHHH!!!” Until the man in the suit shuts up again. When the man in the suit takes a breath and opens his mouth, the biker doesn’t even let him get started and just screams “AHHHHH”…. This happens a few times.
The guy in the suit plows ahead but the biker screams and says “No no no no!!!”
I love biker dude
Make racists afraid again.
Um, sorry, but the guy in the suit deserves to speak his opinions. How’d you like to get screamed at everything time you spoke about what you are passionate about? I’m not saying I agree with his opinion, but that doesn’t make shutting him down like this right. Freedom of Speech. Just agree to disagree and walk away.
1) Freedom of Speech means you have the right to speak your mind without being punished or censored by the government. It does not mean other people have to listen to you, and it does not mean they can’t yell over you if you’re saying something disgusting and inflammatory. The Biker Dude has just as much right to do what he’s doing as the Neo-Nazi. Nobody’s right is being infringed upon here.
2) The guy is “passionate about” hating and inciting violence against Jews. I’m passionate about information literacy, candle-making, and giving snuggles to my pet rabbit. There’s a fucking difference, there.
3) “Agree to disagree” is something you say when two people can’t come to a consensus over whether or not The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. It’s not something you say when one person is Jewish and the other person believes Jews are a evil satanic cabal trying to enslave the white race who must be stopped at all costs. That’s not an “agree to disagree” topic. We don’t “agree to disagree” over the issue of whether or not Jews are people. We don’t “agree to disagree” over whether or not black people, immigrants, Muslims, LGBTQ folks, etc. are deserving of basic human rights. These things are not up for debate, and there is no middle-ground to be had with people who think otherwise.
“I can’t remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you’re saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it’s not literally illegal to express.”
– Randall Munroe
Always reblog the anti-hate bikie.
In Scotland it’s traditional to have at least one bagpiper at any Antifa counter protest. They’re situated as close to the police cordon and any speakers the Nazis might have brought and they play just anything. If you managed to get a few they usually play different songs. If you’ve only ever heard bagpipes on a recording you probably don’t appreciate how loud those mother fuckers are, these are war instruments designed to terrify your enemies as you approach from across the glen, not yet visible in the horizon. Needless to say you can rarely still hear the Nazis
Ok but that’s a tradition we can all get behind. May we share it please?
ANTIFA BIKER AND BAGPIPES!
So, as someone who’s attended a lot of protests I can confirm that not letting racists get in a word in is incredibly affective and very satisfying.
When I go to protests my priority is sounding the alarm on a megaphone every single time someone on the other side opens their mouth. Bonus points if you repetitively target the same person cuz they show up to talk racist shit and get So Upset when you don’t allow them. That person gives up. They leave.
Aggressively Don’t Giving Racists the Time of Day 2k21
I am filled with so much love for so many people right now and I don’t know what to do with it all
Y'all don’t know what rural love looks like. Y'all don’t know. We got 6'2" burly fellas rolling in from the logging camps like “yeah I’m looking for a packer for my boyfriend”. We got welders coming in after work and you gotta ask em to scrape off their boots at the door and their hands are black with gunk so we gotta help em sift through the strap ons. Three ladies come in wearing floral dresses with their hair in rings like they just got out of church and you ain’t sure if they’re together or just friends but when they leave they’re all holding hands and one gives another a kiss. Old fella with a walker comes in for some lacy lingerie. 85 year old widow is going on a first date since her husband passed. People are people all over the place, it’s not different when you can’t see it
sharing your favourite songs with someone is a love language
Okay so clearly Tumblr is blocking the posts about the #ActiBlizzWalkout cause my reblogs aren’t showing up on my dash - anyway don’t cross the virtual picket line folks and let’s stand up for women and marginalized groups in the gaming workplace.
Avoid these games/companies, thanks
Boycotts work, yall
Keep avoiding these games for the time being, especially the ones that use online services.
Don’t forget things like Hearthstone, which is currently one of their biggest sources of revenue while they work on these other franchises
“kids these days are always on their phones, kids these days never go outside” ok how about kids these days have less freedom of movement & access to public spaces than any previous generation, forcing them indoors, forcing them to rely on electronics, when many would prefer to be outdoors hanging out with friends
this isn’t about the pandemic btw, this trend has been going on for like. 20 years now. it started with millennials and gen Z only has it worse
kids these days:
- less unstructured time than ever, constant ‘extracurricular’ obligations cutting into time spent socializing, exploring, relaxing.
- more supervised than ever, not allowed to take public transport or spend time alone in public spaces (previously the norm for teens and pre-teens, until media sensationalism made hypervigilance the norm). not allowed to be around peers except when adults are available to supervise/drive.
- (despite the fact their parents are working more than ever? bc our whole culture around employment is abusive and exploitive. fewer and fewer families can afford to have parents at home, even as kids are allowed to do less and less without adults around.)
- capitalism run amuck + defunding of parks, libraries, etc means it costs money just to exist in public, which is fucking nuts. (it also costs money just to get to public spaces. our world is less walkable than ever and public transport programs are constantly sabatoged. no wonder that some kids are desperate to get their driver’s permit–at extra expense and risk.)
- and when kids do try to spend time away from home, they gets accused of loitering???
- you’ve built an environment composed of nothing but soulless strip malls and chain coffeeshops, and decreed that kids who spend time there are a “nuisance.” literally where the FUCK else are they supposed to exist? at the libraries you closed on weekends? at the parks & sports fields you stopped funding, the woods you tore down, the backyards that get smaller with every development? at the movie theaters & arcades & restaurants they can’t afford? on the streets they cannot drive on, on the sidewalks that lead nowhere, and where you have banned bicycling & skateboarding & rollerblading & existing for any length of time?
kids these days want to spend time outside, time in public, time hanging out with friends in person. kids these days do not want to constantly rely on the internet as their main source of socialization & leisure. but you have stolen all their options.
you have locked an entire generation indoors and thrown away the keys, and you have the audacity to complain that the prisoners spend too much time in their cells.
Demigirl culture is being comfortable in not identifying as a cis woman anymore but then anxiously questioning if that means you are no longer allowed in women's only spaces but also knowing you definitely don't fit into men's only spaces
[ID: a Facebook post from Byron Heath.
This realization I had about Simone Biles is gonna make some people mad, but oh well. Yesterday I was excited to show my daughters Kerri Strug’s famous one-leg vault. It was a defining Olympic moment that I watched live as a kid, and my girls watched raptly as Strug fell, and then limped back to leap again.
But for some reason I wasn’t as inspired watching it this time. In fact, I felt a little sick. Maybe being a father and teacher has made me soft, but all I could see was how Kerri Strug looked at her coach, Bela Karolyi, with pleading, terrified eyes, while he shouted back “You can do it!” over and over again.
My daughters didn’t cheer when Strug landed her second vault. Instead they frowned in concern as she collapsed in agony and frantic tears.
“Why did she jump again if she was hurt?” one of my girls asked. I made some inane reply about the heart of a champion or Olympic spirit, but in the back of my mind a thought was festering: She shouldn’t have jumped again.
The more the thought echoed, the stronger my realization became. Coach Karolyi should have gotten his visibly injured athlete medical help immediately! Now that I have two young daughters in gymnastics, I expect their safety to be the coach’s number one priority. Instead, Bela Karolyi told Strug to vault again. And he got what he wanted: a gold medal that was more important to him than his athlete’s health.
I’m sure people will say “Kerri Strug was a competitor - she wanted to push through the injury.” That’s probably true. But since the last Olympics we’ve also learned these athletes were put into positions where they could be systematically abused both emotionally and physically, all while being inundated with “win at all costs” messaging. A teenager under those conditions should have been protected, and told “No medal is worth the risk of permanent injury.” In fact, we now know that Strug’s vault wasn’t even necessary to clinch the gold; the US already had an insurmountable lead. Nevertheless, Bela Karolyi told her to vault again according to his own recounting of their conversation:
“I can’t feel my leg,” Strug told Karolyi.
“We got to go one more time,” Karolyi said. “Shake it out.”
“Do I have to do this again?” Strug asked.
“Can you, can you?” Karolyi wanted to know.
“I don’t know yet,” said Strug. “I will do it. I will, I will.”
The injury forced Strug’s retirement at 18 years old. Dominique Moceanu, a generational talent, also retired from injuries shortly after. They were top gymnasts literally pushed to the breaking point, and then put out to pasture. Coach Karolyi and Larry Nassar (the serial sexual abuser) continued their long careers, while the athletes were treated as a disposable resource.
Today Simone Biles - the greatest gymnast of all time - chose to step back from the competition, citing concerns for mental and physical health. I’ve already seen comments and posts about how Biles “failed her country,” “Quit on us,” or “can’t be the greatest if she can’t handle the pressure.” Those statements are no different than Coach Karolyi telling an injured teen with wide, frightened eyes: “We got to go one more time. Shake it out.”
The subtext here is: “Our gold medal is more important than your well-being.”
Our athletes shouldn’t have to destroy themselves to meet our standards. If giving empathetic, authentic support to our Olympians means we’ll earn less gold medals, I’m happy to make that trade.
Here’s the message I hope we can send to Simone Biles: You are an outstanding athlete, a true role model, and a powerful woman. Nothing will change that. Please don’t sacrifice your emotional or physical well-being for our entertainment or national pride. We are proud of you for being brave enough to compete, and proud of you for having the wisdom to know when to step back. Your choice makes you an even better example to our daughters than you were before. We’re still rooting for you!
End transcript of post.
Beneath the post is a picture of Simone Biles overlaid with a quote: “We have to protect our mind and our body rathe than just go out there and do what the world wants us to do.” End ID]
What really fucks me up about a 40 hour work week and I’ve tried to explain to people over and over is that like of you do the math you have maybe 3 hours every day to just like. Rest and be with your family. And that’s kind of it
Like the average adult needs about 8 hours of sleep every night, so that cuts your 24 hours to 16 right off the bat.
You’re working for 8 hours, so 8 left.
But you actually work 8 to 5 at most offices, not 9 to 5, and that lunch is basically just long enough to retrieve food and eat. 7.
It took you 20 minutes to shower this morning, 10 to get dressed, and 45 to make a bowl of oatmeal and eat it. We’ll say 15 to get your stuff together and out to your car. 5 and a half.
You get home and have to cook dinner, 30 minutes min for that, probably more like an hour, so somewhere between 5 and 4.5 hrs left. And then you’ve got to eat it, 30 minutes if you’re being healthy about it.
So at best you’ve MAYBE got 4/4.5 hours left every week day and that’s assuming you ran exactly zero errands, didn’t stop by the gym after work, didn’t have to stay late, have a wicked fast transition time between tasks AND a commute of like 5 minutes by car. If you have to go to the store after a quick run at the gym, pick your kids up from soccer across town, and you factor in a 30 minute commute both ways, you’ve got enough free time for like one episode of show Monday through Friday. And weekends have got to be for cleaning the house and going to visit your mom for a few hours.
When do you write, or paint, or read or sew or go on hikes? When do you go on spur of the moment adventures with your wife and try to perfect your grandma’s soda bread? What happens when it rains on Saturday after being sunny all the rest of the week so you can’t go to the zoo that day and you don’t have enough money for the museum? Why are we all just content to postpone our whole lives, put off “happy” and “healthy” for a miniscule amount of extra value we’re producing for someone else?
And it’s also a thing that fascinates me about hustle culture like. When do y'all rest? When do sleep and food happen? How do you make 3 different jobs work without dying?
Idk idk like I said I’m real fucked up about it. It amazes me that more office workers aren’t great big socialists because we have this miserable job where we’re monitored constantly and just have to sit. Still. And maintain focus on ONE THING for EIGHT HOURS in a BORING GRAY ROOM with exactly two short breaks at designated times and I just?? How does that not suck for literally everyone else?? You said yourself, Angie, you’re useless after 3 pm so just?? Organize with me and negotiate for shorter days??? Like you’re literally already only producing 6 hours of value, you don’t need to be sitting there for longer than that.
…then add the Neurodivergent Tax of taking more time to do these things and recovery time afterward, and you’re looking at a deficit that has to come from somewhere
[ID: tweet by Twitter user Jules @/Julian_Epp. It reads: When I was younger I thought cops were legally allowed to commit crimes and get away with it, and then I got older and found out that wasn’t true, and then I got even older and found out it was. end ID]
There needs to be more discussion around sexualized insults like “suck my dick” “go suck a dick” “eat a bag of dicks” “cocksucker” ect. Especially considering that those insults are the norm, and depending on your environment can be heard several times a day, but insults such as “suck my clit/tit” or “eat my pussy” are incredibly rare, and usually said to intentionally be subversive of the established norm of “dick sucking” as a every day go-to insult. And why is it an insult in the first place if it’s something people enjoy?
I think “dick-sucking” as a common pejorative is tied in with how deeply entrenched in misogyny and homophobia everything is. It’s used as an insult because it’s an act society associates with women or gay men performing, and insinuating that someone is either a woman or gay is clearly considered insulting to a lot of people, especially in a sexual context. The insult is also often used, especially by cishet men, as a way of subjugating and demeaning who they’re insulting, and think about all of the fuckin nasty sexist homophobic implications of how often the insult is used with the intention of subjugating and demeaning.
It’s just clearly sexism that dick isn’t even considered that rude a word but pussy/clit/cunt will make people flinch.
And the few times pussy and cunt are thrown around without anyone flinching it’s being used as a misogynistic insult to subjugate someone
also to chime in here, it’s usually used in a violent context, not just physically violent but verbally and, clearly, sexually. it implies that the person performing the action, the dick sucking, is to be submissive and humiliated. so not only are you correct, but there are so many more reasons in terms of sexual humiliation and unwilling submission that make it an extremely gendered phrase.
When masculinity is reduced and limited to a dominance display, sexual activity involving a man becomes aggressive and often implicitly violent, because it too must needs be a dominance display.
Masculinity should be so much more than a paranoid need to sit atop a hierarchy. I want more for society than that, and more for men than that. Patriarchy - a hierarchy of greater and lesser males atop the backs of everyone else - is out of time.
I think another thing we need to talk about with insults like “suck my dick” or “suck a dick” or “get fucked” is, they’re comparing sex to punishment. Using sex as a punishment to someone you hate or someone who annoys you or enrages you is in fact rape culture. Telling someone to suck a dick or get fucked as punishment for enraging you is enforcing rape culture because you’re reinforcing that sex can be used to punish someone for stepping out of line and enraging someone.
Using terms like “suck my dick / suck a dick” and “get fucked” are not only misogynistic and homophobic, they also play a part in rape culture.
parents be like “we support you!!! we love you!!!” when you come out as genderfluid and then still exclusively call you “she”
Billie Joe Armstrong literally wrote a song about coming out as bisexual as a teenager, and then like two years later wrote one that was pretty much all about dressing up in drag and getting fucked by/fucking guys, and y'all STILL say he’s a “straight ally” because he married a woman??
The same goes for Freddy Mercury and David Bowie. Both were openly bi. Both wrote (multiple) songs about their queerness. Both are pigeonholed as either “gay” or “straight”. They were both neither of those things.
hey remember when freddy mercury wrote a literal song about wanting to be allowed to be bisexual without it being a big deal and was incredibly obvious about it and then straighties went “oh lol look at how quirky queen is writing a song all about bicycles!”
This also happened to p!nk, she’s openly bisexual but since she’s married to a man and has had two babies with him, people say that she’s straight.
Like, yeah she does a lot and shows a lot of support for the LGBT+ community but she isn’t just an ally, she’s part of that community.
Biphobia is completely real and so many Bi wlw and mlm are assigned the “straight” role when they just ARENT.
Also let’s add Lady Gaga to the mix. She’s repeatedly shit on for Born this Way for not being part of the community when she is, in fact, openly bisexual and writes song about being LGBT
[Image 1: the “It’s free real estate” guy with the altered caption “It’s Biphobia”
Image 2: a picture of Chris Fleming with the altered caption “Okay, was anybody going to tell me that ‘Bicycle Race’ was about being bi or was I just supposed to learn that from a post about Billie Joe Armstrong myself?” End ID.]
its baffling that bisexuality is considered ‘invisible’ when theres a whole pantheon of the most loud rhinestone bedazled spectacles of entertainment being openly vocal that theyre bi
its like a simpsons bit where everyone ignores the blinking neon sign
[insert “I’m right here” “sometimes we can still hear her voice…” meme that I’m too tired to come up with right now]
Alright, so tumblr staff is acting like as if we tumblr users have enough money to pay other tumblr users.
tumblr forgets that their user base is basically just a bunch of alley rats huddled around a slice of cheese