Techbur twins but with revivebur reuniting with his twin ｡◕‿◕｡
(I pretend I do not see the canon)
So they’re just back to back and relaxing in each other’s presences because they’ve been separated for so long (Wilbur canonically in the afterlife for 9 years and in the overworld he is dead for 3-4 months)
Man, isn’t that so long? it hurts, I know. :’)
(I don’t have a twin though but I think it’s a cool idea)
I have a funny story: When I was sketching this, I was watching Phil’s hardcore stream earlier and by that time Wilbur and Techno joined Phil on the stream. (I was so surprised and pogged irl omg)
oh how powerful I am, I summoned them! KEKW
It was such a good coincidence!
I worked at a McDonald’s as a cashier in high school and it was during a time when they changed their POS system (point of sale, not piece of shit) so everything was now in a slightly different, less logical place, but I was working 20ish hours a week so I picked it up really quickly
Anyway I was out with my friend in the next town over and we went to a McDonald’s because she really wanted an ice tea and we go through the drive through. The man greets us out of the little speaker and asks for our order and she says “Hi! Could I get a large sweet ice tea please?”
And I knew in my heart what was happening.
So I leaned over and said, “It’s on page two of drinks, under juice, then the third one down.”
Another much shorter silence.
“What the - how the hell did… Uh. I mean. Thank you?”
And it’s been literally ten years but I’m still riding the high from that.
tubbo, ranboo, and michael headcanonsi was so excited to write these out, the brainrot is so real for this little family. hope you enjoy!
- tubbo loves letting michael play (safely) with various parts from his nukes project like they’re toys
- tubbo teaches michael about the world using firsthand experience like exploring new biomes and trying new things instead of ‘typical schooling’
- family nature walks!! michael loves running around and picks alliums and pink tulips for his parents
- foolish lets foolish jr stay with michael while he works on the mansion
- after the mansion is finished, michael’s favorite place to be is in the apiary (bee dome) and is so gentle with the bees that they’ll land on him without stinging
- tubbo builds a four-person bench to put in the apiary, three seats for him, ranboo, and michael, and one seat is saved in tommy’s honor
- the three of them often go to tommy’s snowchester monument on the iceberg; tubbo and ranboo tell stories of their adventures with tommy
- tubbo gives ranboo and michael history lessons by walking around the server and pointing out places and sharing his memories
- ranboo transcribes the history of the server into books as tubbo talks in the hopes of replacing/repairing ghostbur’s library
- michael calls tommy ‘uncle tommy’ because tubbo and ranboo talk about him so much
- ranboo will wipe away any of michael’s tears even if they burn his skin
- tubbo is more physically protective of michael while ranboo is more verbally protective; both of them are equally effective at scaring off anyone they deem unsafe
- bedtime stories? bedtime stories! tubbo loves making his own up or telling a story based around something that happened in the past, ranboo collects books from random bookcases around the server to read to michael
- oftentimes, they hire jack to babysit (with ranboo’s money of course) and jack is actually a great babysitter, albeit a bit confused about it all at first
- tubbo and ranboo decide to not tell michael about tubbo’s last remaining canon life and focus on living life to the fullest. is it a good idea? who knows.
i made a list of headcanons about michael bc i have grown far too attached to this little zombie pig child some of this isn’t exactly canon compliant but who fuckin cares about canon /j
- He’s both completely deaf and blind. Therefore, he identifies most things based on touch; he identifies people based on things like the feeling of their hands and the vibrations of their footsteps through the floor. (He wasn’t always deaf or blind; he started to become such when he turned into a zombie. He’s been like that for a while, now, though, so he’s used to it by now)
- Tubbo’s footsteps are quick and indelicate, but his hands are always soft and gentle, and he’s almost always wearing a soft, fluffy coat. He tends to get upset whenever Tubbo wears gloves or mittens, because he can’t feel his hands properly. He likes burrowing into Tubbo’s coat, because it’s soft and warm and nice.
- Ranboo’s footsteps are far lighter than should be possible for a man his size, and he takes long, long strides. His hands are long and spindly, and almost always cold no matter how warm the room is. He likes to take Ranboo’s crown and turn it over in his hands, feeling every little engraving and gemstone. It’s way too big for him to wear, but he still tries.
- He likes being pressed up against people’s chests, so that he can feel the vibrations of their voices when they speak. He prefers Ranboo’s voice, since its lower pitch makes heavier vibrations. He can’t hear singing, of course, but he still likes to be sung to- the rhythm of the vibrations is calming to him. He likes songs with longer notes and slower beats. Tubbo sings to him more often, though Ranboo sometimes will as well if they’re alone. They’ll oftentimes lay in bed with him curled up on either of their chests, singing him to sleep.
- He’s slowly figuring out how to use his little sword as a sort of cane to help him get around (the sword itself isn’t sharp at all, nor is it completely made of gold. It’s wooden, coated in a thin layer of gold, and the edges are dulled and rounded). He hasn’t totally gotten it yet, though. He tends to hold it straight out in front of him, a little too high, so he’ll often still trip over things on the floor. He doesn’t run into walls anymore, though.
- He gets upset if his environment is changed too much without his knowledge or input. He can’t exactly see when things have changed, so if someone moved his room around too much he’d completely lose his mental map of the place and have to start from scratch. Introducing him to new environments- for example, his new rooms in the upcoming mansion- is a slow, gradual process.
- His dads will sometimes bring him random blocks and items to play with, and he has a lot of fun exploring the textures of them. He loves grass blocks (Ranboo was very happy about that). He also likes wool blocks, or really any form of fabric like beds or banners or paintings, for the softness and woven texture. He likes feathers for a similar reason. He likes chains and nuggets for the smoothness, the weight of them in his hands, the coolness of the metal. He likes to crumple paper. He likes the texture of plants, especially flowers and leaves. His favourite flowers are probably the ones with bigger faces, like sunflowers or daisies. He really likes nautilus shells, feeling the spiral of them, and he likes discs for how round and flat they are and the subtle grooves along their surfaces. He likes shaking water bottles.
- On the other hand, he doesn’t like things like sand or gravel. They’re too gritty, and they get everywhere. Snow and ice are too wet and cold, honey is too sticky. Clay is like the worst parts of sand and snow combined. Hay is really scratchy, sponges are soft but the porous texture makes him uncomfortable. He liked eggs at first, because round and smooth, but they’re way too fragile. String is weird, cobwebs are worse. Slime blocks are fun to bounce on, but slime balls are sticky and weird. He refuses to go near soul sand.
- He’s shy around new people a lot of the time, though he’s warmed up to some people. The shoes Phil wears clack against the floor all strange-like, and his hands are very worn, but Michael loves burying himself in his wings. Fundy’s footsteps are light, almost too light, but he’s so soft and fluffy. Ghostbur doesn’t make footsteps, and almost always startles him, and his hands are so cold, but he’s always so gentle and kind. Puffy doesn’t come around very often, but she’s even fluffier than Fundy, and always so sweet. Techno’s steps were scary at first, so heavy and loud, but Michael started to notice how Techno’s hands were shaped just like his own, only bigger. Techno tries his best not to let his heart get warmed by the child, but watching Michael get tangled up in his cape is way too endearing.
- Techno sometimes acts as a sort of ‘piglin language’ translator for them. Michael can’t really speak very well, and can’t speak English at all. He probably wouldn’t be able to learn any more of a spoken language. But he does know a little bit of piglin, stuff he learned before he lost his sight and hearing. Techno was surprised, when he first met Michael, to hear the boy refer to Tubbo and Ranboo as his parents- was surprised that he’d picked up that that’s who they were to him.
- (Tubbo asked something along the lines of, did Michael know they were both dads, or did he refer to either of them as his mother, or what? Techno explained that piglins don’t exactly have separate words for ‘mother’ and 'father’. Piglins are pack animals, and raising of the young is often taken on by several members of the group regardless of biology- and anyways, most piglins don’t tend to present with any form of distinct gender. So there’s just one word in piglin for parental figures, and distinction is made with different adjective-type modifiers. The closest translations for what Michael calls his parents is “soft dad” and “long dad”)
(/rp) Phil would be beside Techno’s side for literally anything and likely would never truly betray him but he immediately also helps Ranboo cover up his involvement in Snowchester for Micheal’s sake. Many thoughts. Many many thoughts.
i don’t know if it’s funnier if the marriage bit has been this huge inside joke all along where c!tubbo and c!ranboo jokingly call each other husbands and jokingly call this random zombie piglin their son and jokingly start a family business and jokingly build a house together and have no concept of when a joke is too far or if they’re just Like That
[Ranboo whispers to you: do you have any spare blankets]
[You whisper to Ranboo: yeah why]
[Ranboo whispers to you: michael’s cold]
“Michael?” Technoblade muttered to himself. Probably another cat or something.
[You whisper to Ranboo: you want to come get them or do you need me to go over there]
[Ranboo whispers to you: can you come over here if it’s not too much trouble]
[You whisper to Ranboo: omw]
If you missed it, in Phil’s latest stream Tubbo and Ranboo introduce him and Fundy to Michael, their adopted son. If you aren’t following Tubbo or Ranboo’s storylines you may have missed that they recently got canonically married and the zombie piglin baby they rescued from the nether on Valentine’s Day is now being recognized as their son (originally was meant to be a pet).
Phil and Tubbo have had a bad relationship starting during the Butcher Army when Tubbo tried to execute Techno for his part in destroying L’Manberg the first time. Phil, being close to Techno, took his side despite being a citizen and ultimately joined Techno in Doomsday and then moved with him to their snow commune. Since then Tubbo’s been on bad terms with both of them, and they haven’t interacted since.
This is the first (arguably?) canon interaction we’ve seen between them since that day, and it’s clear even Phil is a bit on the fence. He makes it clear at one point on the way to Snowchester that he hasn’t forgotten, and doesn’t even want to get into everything Tubbo’s done, but for the most part they were able to converse amicably. I wouldn’t doubt Ranboo’s presence made a big difference there, and Phil knowing that Ranboo is close to Tubbo now will make it harder for him to hold onto negative feelings.
They introduce Phil to Michael and at first he just doesn’t know what to say. Which is… valid. I mean 2 teenagers taking in a zombie pigman child and raising it as their own? What do you even say to that? He gives them vague compliments and laughs a bit at the ridiculousness of the situation.
And then… he starts to question their parenting. He asks why they’re keeping him cooped up, hidden from the world. He, along with Fundy, argue with them about their parenting tactics and question their capability. He even jokingly puts Michael in danger, when Fundy was killed by Tubbo for something he said and Fundy threatened to hurt Michael if he came back and stuff was missing. Phil put all of Fundy’s items in a chest except for his armor and weapons and waited to see it play out. Luckily Fundy realized Phil had them and got them back, but if Fundy hadn’t waited to hear it out Michael could’ve died. Tubbo chastises Phil for being dangerous, and Phil laughs and says Wilbur turned out fine. And then he’s reminded of his son, and how he actually turned out, becomes somber and he sees himself out.
This is arguably one of the first instances we’ve really seen Phil talk about Wilbur and take responsibility for what part he had in how Wilbur turned out to be. His mood changes immediately when he realizes what he was saying and he leaves the house, and ends up accidentally drowning Ghost Squeeks because he set off a creeper that blew up some ice and got Squeeks trapped under. He mutters to himself that everything he touches dies, and then he leaves Snowchester.
I think this is such a interesting character moment that a lot of people might miss because it happens unexpectedly and is like 4 hours into a 5 hour stream. But it’s important to Phil’s character, if only because we’re finally seeing some regret from him in how he raised Wilbur, what his parenting or lack thereof did to someone who was once as little and innocent as Michael is now. I think seeing Michael, happy and waddling around his nursery filled C!Phil with regret and perhaps even envy, because Tubbo and Ranboo have the chance to do it right, and he knows that even if they make mistakes they’ll probably do a better job than he feels he ever did.
i like phil being near-immortal, and i like techno being near-immortal alongside him, but i think that it works better when their specific brands of immortality are different. u know?
so it goes a little something like this:
The first time they meet, Philza is still young. Not young, you understand, but young enough that he has not yet been cut down to stark and jaded utilitarianism. He sets out on a journey into the nether and feels a tug on his sleeve and looks down to see some wide-eyed little piglin child whose parents are nowhere to be found, and his heart stirs.
So he teaches him: combat and farming and life in the Overworld, all of the knowledge that he’s gained over the years. Raises the boy like a son.
It takes twenty years before war starts building in the neighboring empire. Twenty years before the piglin child — now grown, of course, but still so desperately young — offers his service. Like he wants blood on his hands, like he wants to make somebody pay.
Phil buries him before the war is over.
He’s lost people before, of course. So many people. But it’s been a long time since those people were family. He plants a tree on top of the grave, a tiny sapling behind their home — his home now — and makes a promise to himself to stop getting attached.
The second time they meet, the sapling is fully grown.
The soul that will one day call itself Technoblade comes gasping into the world again, trembling memories of wings and violence that flit around the edges of his consciousness when he’s suspended between sleep and wakefulness, and he grows up a fighter. Bruised knuckles and scars that crisscross his back and shoulders like delicate lace, and when he runs into a man who holds himself with world-weary poise and the same wings that have haunted Techno’s dreams, he feels a jolt down his spine.
“Sorry, mate,” says the man. “You just reminded me of someone I used to know.”
“Oh,” says Technoblade.
They get four years together this time before Phil has to plant another sapling.
Techno lives through six lives before Phil’s certain that it’s the same man every time. There’s another voice added to the chorus in each one, another whisper in his ear demanding things of him; at night, his dreams are full of a man with long blond hair and gray-purple wings and cold blue eyes. The memories slip through his fingers like sand whenever he tries to get a solid grasp on them, but the surety with which he holds a sword can only come from years of muscle memory that he’s never practiced.
They say that ‘Technoblade never dies.’ And it’s a lie, but there’s some piece of truth in it: Technoblade dies, and then he comes home again.
There’s a room for him in Phil’s house, kept tidy and waiting in his absence. There’s a journal that Phil keeps, writing down the history of each new lifetime, so that when they find one another Techno will be able to remember. There’s a vault beneath the floorboards that holds bits and pieces of the lives that Techno’s lead, armor and items and memories. There’s a place for him in the world, and Phil keeps it carefully maintained for the next time he finds it.
One lifetime becomes ten lifetimes becomes a thousand lifetimes.
It’s never quite the same, of course. Techno’s a grown man, battered and beaten and bitter but still standing tall; Techno’s a child, tugging on Phil’s sleeve like he did so long ago and asking if they’ve met before; Techno’s already in old age, battle-scarred but determined to track down the man he sees in his dreams. Sometimes they raze empires together, side by side in a blaze of glory. Sometimes they’re content to simply live in one another’s company. Sometimes they don’t meet at all.
Phil’s journal becomes a library, his vault an archive. The valley he lives in goes from open grass to a dense forest of trees that are planted in far-too-orderly rows to be natural.
And for every life that Techno leads, Phil’s always the one to bury him.
so now that phil has established that c!wilbur is c!phil’s only kid and c!phil is fucking Ancient, how about the reason c!phil is so dismissive of c!tommy is c!wilbur inherited that will-live-thousands-of-years gene and c!phil thinks that c!tommy was just a phase that c!wilbur was bound to grow out of?
c!phil learned to stop caring about people that live less than a few hundred years a long time ago. every empire falls, everyone dies, c!phil lives. c!wilbur never learned that lesson (he’s probably 50 years or so old, an adult to everyone else but barely over a teenager to c!phil).
“he’ll grow out of it,” he thinks when he gets a letter from c!wilbur about a scrawny kid he met along the roads scamming travelers. the two travel the collapsed arctic empire together for a long time before the kid, “tommy”, decides to go somewhere with a warmer climate. c!wilbur still writes of him fondly, apparently they’re still in touch. c!phil knows not to get attached, he tells c!wilbur as much, but he’s stubborn. if c!tommy is the goldfish in the drain that teaches his son to let go, phil thinks, then so be it. he’ll learn. c!phil knows he will.
and c!phil thinks “he’ll grow out of it,” when he hears c!wilbur has gone to c!tommy’s new home and declared an independent country. they fought a war. they won. but c!phil thinks of icy fortresses and knows that even countries with near-everlasting rulers fall. c!wilbur will learn. c!phil knows he will.
he hears nothing for a long time. long enough to raise concern. c!phil didn’t see him often by human-life standards but the knowledge his son was out there gave him at least a little comfort. at least one other person on this hell-blasted earth wouldn’t turn to dust and ash. he doesn’t know if he never hears from him, never hears about him.
c!phil finds his son with his hand on a button.
when there’s still hot ash in the air and his son is going cold in his arms and his wings hurt god why do they hurt so much c!phil sees a face in the crowd that matches a description from a letter a long time ago.
he never learned