Get comfortable with sometimes having to be a bitch! Get comfortable with the fact that you will come across situations where your boundaries are in opposition to what another person wants. Get comfortable with the fact that it will bother them intensely that you’re not going along with their desires. Let yourself acknowledge that it may make you seem bitchy, or cold, but guess what’s worse? Not having a backbone. Get comfortable with the fact that you may be vindicated in the long run, people may see that you weren’t in the wrong, and they may apologize. Get comfortable with the fact that you may not be vindicated in the long run! And that’s also okay. It’s all okay. Standing your ground will always feel so much better, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment.
The only reason you should choose to be overly kind and placating is if you are in danger. Other than that, please, get comfortable with being the girl who doesn’t waver, ever.
I refuse to google the article due to “no spoons”, sorry, but a couple years back, The Atlantic asked a semi-reasonable number of Americans most of whom probably thought they had “good jobs” and 47% of them couldn’t come up with $400 without going into further debt,
$400 is like “the A/C broke/one of the kids had to go to ER/lots of everyday shit” And yet 47% of US folks (I don’t know the stat breakdown) surveyed couldn’t do that without additional debt”. NO FUCKING LOVE..
There were several other surveys that also asked Americans what class they were and the vast majority of them cannot adequately identify theirs, and instead all say middle class.
The middle class doesn’t exist.
You can tell for certain if you go to a bank and try to open a savings account. Oft times they will tell you that you have to deposit a certain amount every month or they fine you. Why? Because savings accounts don’t actually exist anymore for most of the country.
Ich find gendern mit Sternchen, Unterstrich und Doppelpunkt ja klasse und finde das sollte weiter verbreitet sein.
Auf der anderen Seite wäre es mir glaub ich an vielen Stellen lieber, wenn drauf verzichtet würde, wenn es nur darum geht Menschen, die keine Männer oder Frauen sind, für das politische Image einzuschliessen oder gar nicht erst zu wissen, was diese Schreibweisen eigentlich sollen.
Immer wieder hör ich, dass der Genderstern “beide” Geschlechter anspricht. Oder sehe Orte, die vermeintlich inklusiv gendern aber trotzdem total binär funktionieren. Ich glaube ich wünsche mir weniger, dass alle inklusiv gendern, sondern einfach mehr Ehrlichkeit im gendern. Es bringt mir nichts, wenn irgendein Format mit Sternchen gendert aber im Endeffekt doch nur Männer und Frauen anspricht.
Auch witzig fand ich letztens, dass jemand über das dritte Reich geschrieben hat und “Nationalsozialist*innen” gegendert hat. Ich versteh den Punkt und so. Aber das ist einfach nicht die Realität und tut so als wären nicht binär verortete Personen im Nationalsozialismus toleriert worden und als hätten sie als nicht binäre Personen Anteil am System gehabt. Und das sind so Dinge, warum ich mir wünschte, dass Leute nachdenken bevor sie gendern.
These dudes are fucking legit. They don’t just show up one day in court, either, they actually make friends with the kids and let them know they have a support system and that there are people in the world who care about them and will always have their back. And less important, but also cool, is that the few times a couple of them have come into my cafe, they’ve been super friendly and polite and when I told one of the guys that I noticed his Bikers Against Child Abuse patch and wanted him to know how awesome I thought he was because of it, he got kind of shy and blushed and said, “The kids are the awesome ones, we just let them know they’re allowed to be brave.”
The source is long, but so, so good. These men and women are available in 36 states, 24 hours a day to stand guard at home, in court, at school, even if the child has a nightmare. Many of them are survivors of childhood abuse as well, and know what it’s like to feel scared and alone.
In court that day, the judge asked the boy, “Are you afraid?” No, the boy said.
Pipes says the judge seemed surprised, and asked, “Why not?”
The boy glanced at Pipes and the other bikers sitting in the front row, two more standing on each side of the courtroom door, and told the judge, “Because my friends are scarier than he is.”
Actual tears.. hnngh
Show me more of people like this, world. I give up on humans too easily.
where do i sign up for this,i want to be in this gang
This is fucking amazing. It may be out of character for me to say this but rock on
Bikers Against Child Abuse was founded in 1995 by a Native American child psychologist whose ride name is Chief, when he came across a young boy who had been subjected to extreme abuse and was too afraid to leave his house. He called the boy to reach out to him, but the only thing that seemed to interest the child was Chief’s bike. Soon, some 20 bikers went to the boy’s neighborhood and were able to draw him out of his house for the first time in weeks.Chief’s thesis was that a child who has been abused by an adult can benefit psychologically from the presence of even more intimidating adults that they know are on their side. “When we tell a child they don’t have to be afraid, they believe us,” Arizona biker Pipes told azcentral.com. “When we tell them we will be there for them, they believe us.”
More about BACA, from their site
My parents are a part of this organization and they are metal af
They go on runs to protect the child if they feel even the slightest threatened no matter where. If the child needs them to go on vacation with them, they do. Bikers come from across the nation to watch over and take shifts for these kids. And the best part is once you’re adopted into this family as a BACA kid, you’re always one. Even when you’re 40 and the perp gets released from jail, they’ll come meet with you and find your best options for avoiding the person and maintaining the life you’ve built for yourself. Once a BACA child, always a BACA child. In Florida, there’s 100% rate for identifying the perp based on the child’s testimony. Why? Because BACA stands with the child and supports the child so they feel comfortable enough to point out their attacker.
What’s better than a badass biker gang being on your side???
NATIVE AMERICAN CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST WHO IS A BIKER AND NAMED HIMSELF CHIEF HELL YES I’M HERE FOR THAT AND BIKERS BEING BAD ASS TO PROTECT KIDS. HELL YEAH.
it’s back! I will always reblog BACA
Damn good people.
I know they wouldn’t consider themselves such, but these people are freaking heroes and the world is a better place because of them.
Hey folks, it talks about this in the article but its not mentioned in this post, BACA is a 501 © (3) charity that depends in part on donations to help pay for stuff like gas for their bikes. If you want to help, consider donating.
@copperbadge You like posting about heroes, Sam. Seems like this would be up your alley.
I love these folks! I’ve reblogged them before but it’s wonderful to see the donation information has been added.
Always reblog. Keep doing what you’re doing y'all.
Guys? This post changed my life. I saw this post. Forever ago. And thought it was only in america… and wished desperately that they could help me. But then I saw it again, during a bad episode, and checked their site. They aren’t just in the USA
They’re in Canada as well and probably other countries. I met and talked with a native guy who runs the place near me. His name is Shaman. I got in, and I’m considered a BACA child now. Despite being 17, turning 18 when I talked to them. They spent time with me when my abuser was over, they gave me therapy resources. They give you something called a ‘level 1′ where they go to your house with as many bikers as they can, i shit you not a solid 20-40 bikers came from even out of province, and met me. I got to choose my biker name and I got a vest with patches on it and my name on it. They all hugged a Teddybear before giving it to me, and told me if I ever felt the BACA bear was running out of love, to give them a call and they’d refill it for me, and then I got a ride on one of their bikes. Just a day or so ago I went to an annual party with them and they we ate food one of them cooked and had a lot of laughs.
I’ve never felt as loved as I did being a part of the BACA family. They also gave me dog tags with the names, and phone numbers of my 2 workers. So I can call them whenever I feel scared.
BACA is an absolutely wonderful group that will do everything in it’s power to help any child whos been abused.
And it doesn’t end when you’re 18 either. As long as you get in contact/get your level 1 before you’re 18? you’re ALWAYS a BACA kid. I’m 18 now and they still invite me to parties, ask me if I’m okay, and are there for me. They’re still trying to find me resources for therapy.
BACA has changed my fucking life.
I hope you all can read this, and reblog it knowing from someone who fucking been with them, that they are absolutely amazing.
They’re also in the UK, plus 13 other European countries and Australia and NZ. if this is a group that could be useful to anyone you know https://bacaworld.org/chapters/
Destroy the notion that intellectually disabled adults are children in adult bodies.
I don’t care if they only watch Sesame Street because it’s one of a few things on TV that’s cognitively accessible to them. They are not children unless they are actually children.
a reminder that ‘mental age’ is a concept born from eugenics. it is just a “clean” way to denote “r*tardation.” it does not matter how you try to apply it.
What is antinatalism? It’s a philosophical and ethical conception which I’m going to explain breathly.
- you give a birth to a person, but she doesn’t choose to be born, and she lives in given conditions;
- what is more, you cannot determine her life path. Life might be full of difficulties or (and) full of happiness, if she is lucky enough;
- so, it’s a philantropic idea. You don’t have children, because there’s always a high risk that she will suffer a lot.
Antinatalism doesn’t mean you hate children.
Antinatalism doesn’t mean you don’t have children only because there’s overpopulation on the planet.
Antinatalism doesn’t mean childfree, because childfree is more about pragmatic reasons.
Antinatalism is about moral and ethical reasons not to have children. Giving life is sometimes giving a lot of problems to a kid. If you are not ready (mentally ill, poor or infantile etc.), don’t do it. If you know that you can be a good parent and the best friend for your kids, then okay. Don’t produce suffering, create awareness.
I find it odd how the fandom focuses so much on Aang’s childhood being ruined when he learned he was the Avatar at 12, but there’s very little talk about how discovering she was the Avatar as a toddler affected Korra’s life and how she was raised.
But we’ll circle back to that…
Because this is a good starting point to talk about one of the most prevalent themes in the story, which the mainstream discussion of tends to only focus on a few characters – That is the Child Prodigy.
We’ll start with the two most obvious. The ones we always talk about.
The clearest example of your typical child prodigy (if there is anything typical about a prodigy). Azula showed early mastery of very advanced Fire-Bending techniques, and is the only Fire-Bender to use blue flames, which was intended to make her stand out amongst the other villains but is also indicative that her Fire-Bending is more pure and powerful (blue flame is produced when burning pure O2 or fuel without contaminant at a very high temperature).
All this lead to her being praised and favored by Ozai as a child, but as double-edged swords go, this also meant she had a lot of pressure on her shoulders to never fail, and she rarely did. Her ego matched her talent, and let’s be honest she was the baddest bitch the show had ever seen. Conquering Ba Sing Se, defeating the Avatar in combat, and dropping some of the most devastating lines of dialogue in villain history; she was a force nobody wanted to reckon with.
And that become a problem for one asshole in particular…
Being jealous of his own child is just one item on a laundry list of reasons why this guy is the worst father in the history of fathers. Azula had begun to outshine him with her victories, and Ozai’s maniacal ego couldn’t handle that, so he left her behind to babysit the Fire Nation while he went out to burn/conquer the world, which also was her idea.
And while this wasn’t the only thing that aided in her demise, it certainly was the final straw which sent her spiraling down into this…
In the end Azula is a sad example of how certain unfair expectations are placed upon talented children, and the more they succeed, the more these expectations grow and weigh on the them until they either disappoint those looking down on them or surpass and embarrass their elders.
It is a lose-lose situation which inevitably destroys them.
There is a similar example of the child prodigy, but his story goes a little different.
Even as a twelve/thirteen year-old boy Aang by far has the most impressive stats among any character in the Avatar universe.
Basically mastering 3 of the 4 Elements in less than a year, after mastering Air by the time he is twelve (not to mention inventing his own Air-bending move, the Air scooter).
Aang is an example of a child prodigy who had too much thrust onto him at too young an age because of the talent he showed; because of this he panicked and ran away, and the world was worse off for it.
Aang/Sokka/Katara’s story is all about how in times of War, responsibilities normally handled by adults are pushed onto kids who then have to grow up very fast in order to deal with it all.
The message is clear. War robs the young of their childhoods.
Now, let’s talk about a different kind of child prodigy.
Yes, of course I’m talking about Toph, the greatest Earth-Bender to ever live.
Because of her blindness, Toph’s family tried to keep her sheltered and safe by hiding her from the world. Refusing to believe she could ever be more than helpless. Anyone who has seen the show knows that is far from the truth.
But because her potential went unseen, there were some negative effects to her personality. Initially, she resented her parents, and rebelled; which established a certain level of independence, a bad attitude, and a hot-headed streak. Over time spent with the Gaang these behaviors subsided because she finally had friends and they accepted her for who she was. By the end of the series she was fully willing to accept aid from them when she needed it, like holding on to Sokka’s arm in environment where her bending couldn’t help her “see”.
Toph’s story is a foil to Azula’s, both showed immense talent and badassery, but while recognition of Azula lead to ever-mounting pressure for her to succeed; the lack of recognition for Toph created a need for her to be acknowledged and set an undercurrent of frustration which leads to her acting out in the ways she does.
The lesson to take from Toph’s story is not to shelter your kid from the world out of fear for their safety, and to be open to recognizing their talents, not shun them.
Next are two more Unacknowledged.
Katara and Sokka.
Their story, and the reason behind their circumstances, is one of the more complicated and nuanced ones in the series, so here we’ll focus on how it fits into the subject of discussion.
Because of the War, Katara was robbed not only of her mother but also of any Southern Masters to train her, and any role models Sokka could have looked up to left with his father to fight. Because of this Katara’s potential and Sokka’s genius went unacknowledged not due to neglect but rather due to circumstance. (Yes, I think Sokka is a genius, how many 15 yr olds do you know that can plan an invasion, design submarines, and spit poetry off the cuff?).
This is a further example of how War robs kids of necessary childhood experiences, and these two robberies had particular effects on both Katara and Sokka’s character developments.
Sokka had the responsibility of protecting his home put upon him at a young age. The men of his tribe leaving prevented him from completing his rite of manhood until the Gaang ran into Bato of the Water Tribe, and early on Sokka was constantly trying to prove himself as a man and a leader. Sokka is one of the smarter characters of the series, but he rarely got credit for it until the third season. Not to mention that because he wasn’t a bender he often seemed less useful than the others. The circumstances of war made his talent go unnoticed and because of that he often was unsure of himself and overcompensated to prove something.
Speaking of talent going unnoticed.
Katara is definitely one of the more talented benders of the series. After training herself for years with little progress, she essentially mastered Water-Bending in a few weeks under Master Pakku. While her anger towards the Fire-Nation mostly centers around the loss of her mother, it can’t be ignored that the delay in her training was a direct result of the Fire-Nations’ actions. Toph’s anger and frustration vented itself as rebellion. However, the same frustration and anger is within Katara, but because she wasn’t as natural a bender as Toph she sought to learn and be respected, and when that was denied to her is when that anger bubbled to the surface in some terrifying ways.
While Toph’s talent went unnoticed because of her families neglect, Katara and Sokka’s wasn’t acknowledged because there was nobody to acknowledge it. Because of that both brother and sister wanted to prove themselves to the world.
And then there is Zuko.
I know what you’re thinking. Zuko wasn’t a prodigy, his Fire-Bending skill didn’t catch up with Azula’s until the finale and he never mastered Lightning-Bending, but this section is about the Unacknowledged.
Zuko had many other talents besides Fire-Bending, he was a master swordsmen, and was able to successfully break into every secure facility he attempted in the show (which was almost every secure facility the show featured). Unfortunately, these talents were never recognized, because the only thing the royal family cared about was bending ability (It’s possible the reason he learned the sword was because he lacked skill in Fire-Bending).
As per usual with Zuko, this part of his tale is quite sad. Many can relate to being outshined by a sibling, and when it becomes all too clear that one cannot match another’s talent it’s quite understandable to focus on what they do excel at, but even then there is no promise of recognition for their own talent. Zuko was even mocked by his father during the solar eclipse when Ozai tried baiting him into attacking with his swords.
This lack of recognition is one of many sad aspects of Zuko’s early life, but it is a definitive example of one of the hardest unacknowledged prodigy’s cross to bear. The Outshone prodigy, one whose talents are never noticed because a bigger and brighter star stands in the way of such recognition, and arguably the most frustrating type mentioned here. Toph/Sokka/Katara all came from situations were there was no recognition being given to them or anyone, but Zuko had to bear watching massive amounts of praise be piled on to his sister while he and his accomplishments went by the way side.
Ozai summed up the situation best.
“Azula was born lucky, Zuko was lucky to be born”
Alright now where have I been going with all this?
So, far we’ve covered a lot of wrong ways to treat a child, whether they show talent or not, and how the circumstances of war can also take many things from children.
But what happened to Korra?
(Before we get into to this I should state that I like Korra, and the purpose of this is not to bash her as a character or her arc, but rather to give a little of my insight into it.)
It’s well established that Aang was told of his heritage too young, and that was a detriment on his development into an adult, but what would have happened if he realized his powers himself not long after he could walk? We’ll never know, but we do get to see the effects it had on Korra.
When she revealed herself as the Avatar, Korra set her entire life in a new direction, and because Aang tasked the White Lotus with finding and training her that direction was out of her control. There are two key differences between Korras’ and other Avatars’ lives.
1. She grew up in isolation on a White Lotus compound.
Every Avatar before Korra we know of spent a portion of their early lives traveling the world in order to master the elements; along this journey they not only learned how to bend the other 3 elements, buy also many things about the 3 other nations and the world they are tasked to protect as a whole. By confining Korra in safety and bringing the masters to her the White Lotus deprived Korra of this opportunity to learn and grow and understand the world and the people within in. It also deprived her of learning modern bending styles until she reached Republic City.
While this might have kept Korra safe from the Red Lotus, it grew within her a naiveté about how the world worked, and because of this when she actually did venture out into the world she was terribly unprepared for it.
2. She was trained and mastered 3 of the elements by the time she was 16.
Most Avatars don’t know they have this power until they reach 16 and then they spend several years learning to control it. Korra’s natural talent in the bending lead to her training being expedited not by necessity like Aang’s, but due to her talent and eagerness. Korra excelled at the physical part of being the Avatar and because of this by the time she reached maturity she had become over-confident in her abilities and true to what her Fire-Bending master said in Ep.1 she lacked restraint.
I’m not saying her bending isn’t great, but rather because it is so great it’s her go-to solution to anything, and she enjoys that so she uses it with enthusiastic gusto and not a lot of thinking before striking.
This overconfidence coupled with her naiveté of the world is what lead to many of her rash decisions and actions, most of which had negative consequences, and I believe are the reason behind some fan are dissatisfied with her. Aang had been almost the complete opposite, even by the age of twelve he was an experienced world traveler and an incredibly humble guy.
Some may have been dissatisfied by these character decisions, but they served a purpose, they are only the beginning of her arc. The internal challenge Korra must overcome through 4 seasons is to humble herself before the world, and learn from it. This was finally achieved in the 4th season when the metal poisoning in her body forces her to face others in the world as equals, only then had she completed her journey.
And why did it all go this way?
Because she is a very unique child prodigy, what she demonstrates in the first episode of LOK would be akin to a toddler playing the violin or hitting a three-pointer; she could bend 3 elements close to just after learning to walk. That is the kind of prodigious talent rarely seen because it is mostly impossible. How does a rational person handle a child like that?
It’s a tough question, and something this essay has been circling around the whole time. Each example here is the wrong way to handle talented and different children, but what is the right way?
As always look to Iroh.
Who treated his surrogate son Zuko with both respect and compassion.
Unlike Toph’s parents, Iroh worried over Zuko’s well being, but also allowed him to be independent, make his own decisions, and take his own risks.
Unlike the Nomad Leaders, he didn’t want Zuko weighed down by his position in the world and the responsibility that came with, and always encouraged him relax and take advantage of the moment.
Unlike Ozai, Iroh would always be there to support Zuko in his victories and his failures. Iroh shows him the right path but does not force him down it.
And even after Zuko betrayed and abandoned him.
Iroh was never angry with him, and embraced him upon his return.
He wanted Zuko to grow and be a better man. Even if Zuko wasn’t a prodigy like his sister.
And that is the answer here. The way to raise a prodigy is the same way anyone should raise any child. Love, Support, a Guiding Hand rather than a Forceful Shove, Recognition of What Makes Them Unique, and Forgiveness When They Falter. The problem comes along when you start treating children differently because you see them as different or special. All children are different, all children are special.
Kids are kids, and they all deserve a proper childhood.
one problem with adhd is sorting things
I can’t have only one blog for everything. There are certain things that are okay to go together but the connections are questionable.
My mental health and neurodiversity can go with my 18+ content, but only with vanilla 18+ content or cgl. Not with other kink.
My writing can go with my painting and drawing and university stuff but not with my pen and paper adventures, even if it’s all creative or writing work.
My political views and memes can also go with my mental health.
My 18+ content can also go with my pen and paper adventures.
I’m at a loss here and what the hell is @wereisthemoon. My side blog? My main? My personality? Just, like trash? Idk anymore??
Please tell me if anyone experiences the same..
lil nas / christian cry babies
I don’t know how many times we’ll have to go through this same conversation, but since it’s come up again, I want to give my take on it.
I live in one of the most conservative cities in Colorado. When I was in high school, my country became the teen suicide capital of the nation. Of. The. Nation. When it was first happening, nobody really knew what was going on. In my school district alone, we had 3 suicides within two months. One of them including a middle school boy.
When it started happening more, people were able to draw connections. One of those connections was that a large portion of these kids were heavily involved in New Life / Young life- a HUGE church in my city. Another connection was that those same kids were in the LGBTQIA+ community. Even after this came to the attention of the public, people made excuses. Whether it was people saying, “you can’t prove it had anything to do with the church”, or, “they just didn’t believe enough”, people made excuses. It was heartbreaking and exhausting to watch. Just last year, one of my friends from high school committed suicide. They were queer, and had recently come out as non-binary. COVID was at its height, so a small memorial for the family was planned. However, they were a huge part of the community and I wanted people to be able to say goodbye, so I hung up a pride flag with their name and a sharpie, left some flowers. Hundreds of people came and said their goodbyes.
It is so frustrating to watch people dismiss the harm that the Christian community has caused the LGBTQIA+ community. While I understand that religion is a huge part of some people’s life, it should not be applied to those around them. Religious freedom is the freedom for YOU to choose what YOU believe in, and want to follow. It is not, “I believe in this, so should you, I’m going to treat you like shit and make laws against your existence based off of it”. There’s an awesome thing called separation of church and state that’s supposed to keep all of that from happening. Unfortunately, a lot of states don’t give a *single* shit about that.
This all came to my mind due to the Lil Nas video getting so much negative attention from Christians. While I understand why they would be offended, there’s a few reasons why I just…do not care.
a) People use religion for art all the time. And not just Christianity. So I’m not sure why Christians are acting like they’re oppressed because someone decided to dance on satan for a music video.
b) Context and culture are what it’s all about. You have to acknowledge that Lil Nas has been put through absolute hell for his queer identity, including (but not limited to) the Christian church. While I understand taking offense to the video, what I absolutely cannot wrap my head around is what they AREN’T upset about. There are people getting harassed, beat, and killed for their queer identity to this day in the name of Christianity. And I could be wrong, but I’m pretty damn sure that nowhere in the bible does it say, “make sure to call gay people f*gs and murder transgender people”. Yet people do it. All. The. Time. Using Christianity to back it up. And yes, there are many other religions that do “not agree” with homosexuality or being trans, but in the United States, Christianity is what people most commonly refer to when defending their homophobia/transphobia with religion. The majority of our lawmakers, if religious, are Christian. So it wouldn’t really make sense for Lil Nas to talk about other religions that have not directly affected HIM.
every time someone talks about how “capitalism breeds innovation”, i think about the fact that capitalism killed the streaming service in less than ten years
like…the entire point of netflix when it started was that you could log into one service and you could find thousands of different tv shows and movies in one place, for one price, AND you didn’t have to wait for several weeks to watch the conclusion of a tv show AND you didn’t have to worry about your favorite new show getting cancelled half-way through a season for lack of viewership.
and then every single other channel out there thought “hm. why are we using a third party site to do what WE could do ourselves?” except not a single one of them had enough material in their libraries to do what netflix was doing. but they still pulled all their content out of netflix anyway and tried to do what netflix was doing. and then disney decided to do it as well, which… essentially just killed netflix.
but not only did they kill netflix, they just restarted cable! the whole point of a streaming service was being able to watch one show in one go, over a weekend or something. but bc these services don’t have enough material to keep people invested on paying every month, they have… to…. release shows one episode at a time, so that by the time one show ends they can roll out a new one and keep the subscriptions. which just? defeats the point?
and now we’re all just. back to torrenting one episode at a time, because nobody is paying for “cable…but on the internet”. all because capitalism breeds innovation
user markshotaros going shooters for karl marx
u forgot the best part
This came across my feed a little bit ago so I’m glad I finally have context for it
God, that explains this:
i will never forgive the internet for what it did to the word “mansplain”
mansplaining is a very specific phenomonon wherein a man who is NOT qualified to talk about a topic assumed he knows better than other people who ARE qualified, purely because of sexism.
sharing a fun fact you learned isnt mansplaining. infodumping isnt mansplaining. adding your relevant personal experience to a discussion isn’t mansplaining, (as long as you remain respectful of others’ experiences as well, but that’s always true). correcting someone who is objectively wrong and spreading misinformation REALLY isn’t mansplaining.
stop telling men that all of their interests and attempts at socializing are insulting and unwanted, your gender essentialism is showing.
people in my REAL LIFE i have had to convince i like to hear them talk, really:
- trans men talking about their oppression
- trans women talking about their oppression
- autistic men infodumping
- perfectly kind cis men who are answering a question i literally asked, or getting passionate about one of their interests
people who AREN’T self-conscious about this:
- men who actually fucking mansplain, oh my god the whole POINT is that they dont care about other people’s thoughts, why do you think whatever this fucking campaign is would bother them
Feminist fantasy is funny sometimes in how much it wants to shit on femininity for no goddamned reason. Like the whole “skirts are tools of the patriarchy made to cripple women into immobility, breeches are much better” thing.
(Let’s get it straight: Most societies over history have defaulted to skirts for everyone because you don’t have to take anything off to relieve yourself, you just have to squat down or lift your skirts and go. The main advantage of bifurcated garments is they make it easier to ride horses. But Western men wear pants so women wearing pants has become ~the universal symbol of gender equality~)
The book I’m reading literally just had its medievalesque heroine declare that peasant women wear breeches to work in the field because “You can’t swing a scythe in a skirt!”
Hm yes story checks out
peasant women definitely never did farm labour in skirts
skirts definitely mean you’re weak and fragile and can’t accomplish anything
skirts are definitely bad and will keep you from truly living life
no skirts for anyone, that’s definitely the moral of the story here
Now, a skirt that’s too long will be harder to work in–skirts brushing the floor may look elegant, but is also a tripping hazard–but that is not a problem with skirts in general, it’s a problem with that particular skirt not being suited to being worked in.
Skirts are very practical. You can hike them up if you’re hot or need more freedom to maneuver (this is called “girding your loins”). If you need to carry something, you can lift up your hem and make a pouch just like the person in yellow in the bottom picture above. If you need to handle something hot, a skirt generally has enough material you can hold it out from your body to use as a hot pad. (Tight skirts were only used by people who didn’t need to work/move until the invention of elastic fabric.)
Long skirts were markers of class almost as much as gender. Both men and women in the European middle ages wore extravagantly long garments to indicate both “I’m so rich I can afford THIS MUCH fabric” and “I don’t walk in the mud, I pay servants to do that for me.”
Skirt hiking: Definitely a Thing. (Janet’s tied her kirtle green/above the knee and not below…)
Love this post, and want to add: another example of the “empowerment means shitting on feminity” is the bizarro way that this genre attacks basic survival skills like cooking and sewing as pointless, inferior or mutually exclusive with masculine pursuits (like your lady knight should probably know how to cook for herself and sew her own wounds and patch her clothes while she’s on her quest through the North to rescue her boyfriend, or this happy couple is in for a world of hurt!)
Or to quote one of my all favorite posts, “fuck women’s contribution to our survival.”
Historically, skirts have been the garment of choice for almost every culture, gender and class. Breeches, or pants, were created specifically for riding horses.
Sir Ian McKellen urges gay people to be better allies to the transgender community.
The legendary actor and Stonewall co-founder joined It’s a Sin star Olly Alexander for a special LGBT+ History Month talk on TikTok on February 25, Pink News reports.
Sir Ian said:
“I do hear people – gay people – talk about transgender people in very much the same terms as people used to talk about your common or garden gay.
“The connection between us all is we come under the queer umbrella – we are queer. I quite like being queer actually.
“The problems that transgender people have with the law are not dissimilar from what used to be the case for us, so I think we should all be allies really.“
This is not the first time the actor has stood up to transphobes.
Speaking to lifestyle magazine Attitude, the veteran star talked about how happy he was about Elliot Page coming out as transgender.
He felt “so disappointed” with himself for not recognizing the struggles that the then-teenage actor could have been facing when they worked together.
The actor talked about why it is important to be honest with oneself.
Top photo from The Talks.
1. KING SHIT
3.”common or garden gay”
Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.
Reblogged for truth.
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”
- -Sanjay Kulkarni
New mental image: Jolene Addams.
@dduane is very fond of the Addamses. With good reason.