the lotr casting director is an all-knowing goddess
“The weaver, the shaper of wood, and the worker in metals; and the tiller and husbandman also, though these last and all that deal with things that grow and bear fruit must look also to the spouse of Aulë, Yavanna Kementári.”
— The Silmarillion
Artwork by Viktoria Sinner
HDYSHSUDBSOSU THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL I AM SCREAMING???????????????
the funniest fuckin part of the whole hobbit film trilogy is when they get to erebor and bilbo’s like “hey what’s that a picture of” and they’re like “what you came to steal. the arkenstone” and he’s like “…which is?” and they have to be like “it’s a gem lad” like that boy followed these dwarves 750 miles on foot chased by orcs and didn’t even know what he was supposed to do when he got there. have you ever wanted to be dicked down by a richard armitage character so hard you walked 750 miles on the off chance that stealing something would get you into his pants without even knowing what you were supposed to steal. and he didn’t even get dicked down in the end. a real tragedy
This is literally my favorite post about the hobbit.
granted i havent read lotr since i was 13 but the way legolas joins the fellowship always cracks me up, like hes literally a prince but they sent him as a messenger to basically tell the council like “whoopsiedoodles we fucked up and gollum is gone, that’s what you get for entrusting him to the party elves of mirkwood you know how we get” and he feels SO bad he joins this super deadly quest like imagine you’re thranduil and you’re like “hey son can you go to elrond’s house and tell him we fucked up royally” and your son is like sure pops can do but then you don’t hear from him for like two months so you call elrond like hey e-dog what’s good have you seen my son. and elrond is like. well i dont know how to tell you this but he went on a homoerotic voyage to the most dangerous place on earth. id be so mad
The Fellowship gets on the topic of their ages one night and Boromir comes to the dawning realization that he has absolutely no idea how old any of his companions are supposed to be at all
Boromir, pointing at the hobbits: I don’t know how your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Legolas and Gimli: I definitely don’t know how either of your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Aragorn: I thought I knew how your age worked but apparently I was wrong
Boromir, pointing at Gandalf: I especially don’t know how your age works
Gandalf: It doesn’t, but carry on
Listen I will die on this hill. I don’t care what it says in the assorted apocrypha, if you go by the Actual Text of LOTR you can make a very good argument that Boromir is the youngest member of the group.
The hobbits are the only ones given official ages in the text, and are between fifty or fifty-one and twenty-nine. Elves and dwarves notoriously age slowly, and Gimli is the offspring of one of Bilbo’s pals, so okay, we’ve established that he’s old enough to call the hobbits young, and Bilbo confirms for them that Aragorn is Pretty Old For A Bigjobs. Gandalf is, of course, eternal.
But we are never given any context for Boromir and Faramir’s ages, except that a) they are humans and, though Sons of Gondor, not much longer lived than most Bigjobs, and b) Faramir is A QuiteYoung Man. I was absolutely convinced, when I read the books as a youngun, that Boromir, being in ‘the flower of manhood’ iirc, was probably between 25 and 30.
And it would be Freaking Hilarious, okay, for Boromir to finally get around to actually asking how old this baby-faced hobbit carrying The Ring is, and get told ‘oh, he’s only fifty, but he’s very steady for his age.’
And then Pippin and Merry start asking everyone how old they are because this is fascinating are we all official adults here except for Pippin or what.
Boromir: …. Pippin isn’t an adult HOW OLD IS PIPPIN.
Pippin is just 29, which is why everyone calls him Pippin, it’s gonna be at least another 20 years before he can make Peregrine work. Why, how old is Boromir?
Boromir, who would rather DIE than admit to being 28 right at this moment: …. 43.
All the others, weighing up his apparent age compared to theirs: Sure, sounds legit.
Gandalf, who knows for certain, does not say anything because he is absolutely certain that telling Pippin that he’s older than Boromir will be an unmitigated disaster.
BOROMIR is the BABY???????!!!!!!!
Love the take that Boromir’s canon age is just him being a fucking liar.
The long waiting has ended! Here one part of my little “Varda & Manwe” cosmic ilustration series. Prepare yourself for the second part! Gonna be special ;)
COSMOS zine is now LIVE!!!!
Dedicated to all things surrounding the cosmos. The zine has 74 full color pages with artwork from 30 artists all over the world, including Illustration series of Varda & Manwe. Every preorder will get a secret postcard and sticker!!!
sorry, this is a sfw blog. have some fluffy angbang ;(
anyway, i never really draw angbang also because of my melkor hcs. you know, he’s had several wounds that never stopped hurting him and i just don’t think he liked to be touched at all. in other words
sauron: master, can i do something to make you feel better ? :3
mel: yes, fuck off
poor sauron, he is 100% crazy about mel i’m sure