Its been a while.
But this TERASA thingy, i just can’t get it off from myself.
Macam, dah sebati starting from the first day i told my “Friends” about my wedding.
I told them(in april i think) that i am going to get marry my soulmate in June.
They congratulate me plus happy for me cause at lassssttt kann haha
So, my little hearts ni letak a BIG HOPE that they could do a surprise visit before or on my wedding.
Cause thats what friends do tho. (cause for me, its the sweet-est thing you could do as a friend haha)
But turns out, no, just my childhood/high school friends yang datang before & on my wedding. (THANKS GUYS, I LAVH YOU SO MUCH TILL MY HEART HURTS hehe)
So, i sedapkan hati, “in shaa Allah, wedding belah Pali depa sampai”.
Still a no. No one of these “friends” show up.
Siapa je yang tak terasa with these kind of situation.
Its my most happiest day but they did not even show up. Hurts. Thats all i can say.
Still, i did not say anything that hurts any one of them because i know my wedding events are not at the right time for them.
“Depa final” — my ayat nak sedapkan hati.
After a while, hmm.
Any one of these “friends” still not showing up.
I blame myself sebab set wedding date on their final day. (eventho its not me who set the date, yknow how weddings in Malay works. Parents do the talking, not the bride)
So, maybe the least they could do is make a time to visit me.
Nak cakap tade time, they could make a trip go here & there.
But, “sorry, too bz to visit you Pah”.
Nevertheless, thank you to these “Friends”.
Maybe aku yang tak cukup lagi letak efforts in our friendship sampai nak visit aku pun tade masa at all.
Blame it all on me.
Sebab aku mampu tanggung all of these blames.
Oh, more ayat yang aku dapat;
“Hang tak duduk kat tempat kami, hang sentiasa free, boleh lah visit kami anytime.”
“Hang mai la visit kami. Hang bukan buat apa2 pun”
“Hang kaya, ada business, ada duit. Boleh lah.”
Who says aku sentiasa free?
I have a business to take care, aku ada tanggungjawab.
And who says aku kaya?
If aku kaya, i wont work hard nak majukan business aku.
If you stays in my shoes, then you know kenapa aku terasa. Think about it.
Ada ke aku travel memana macam you guys?
Jauh? Then i think thats the lame-est excuse. Because for me, dalam mana mana relationship pun, it takes a lot of efforts nak jaga bagi elok, including FRIENDSHIP.
If you can give me this lame-est excuse, obviously aku ja yang cuba nak jaga relationship ni.
Maybe efforts aku pun tak cukup lagi sampai boleh bagi alasan ni kat aku tho.
Try kira duit trip korang, & kira tiket or budget nak datang visit aku. Try & think.
I love my friends. I DO. Cause during my whole time in Diploma, kawan lah satu satunya tempat nak manja gedik merajuk etc. Pluss the facts of i think i have met my SEKEPALA BFF. 😂
But, think about it.
If my bff are going to get married one day, i would arrange everything nak bagi aku jumpa jugak dia and congratulate dia face to face sebab aku sayang bff aku.
In shaa Allah kalau tade halangan, i could spend my time as their wedding planner (if they want to la kan hahaha).
Hm. I love you guys. Always do. But, yknow. Terasa is a thing that we should luah. So aku luah thru sini hahahahahahaha
This takes a while sebab i have no guts to post this things or nak luah.
It would hurts a lot of feelings.
I mean, A.LOT.OF.FEELINGS.
And then i found my tumblr so its a big YES cause at least i boleh luah secretly here without anyone notice. Kannnn? Haha.
(so, yeah. i am talking to myself. lols)
Well, last but not least i make this TERASA THING as a joke. But, its not.
Love, Ifa. Xx