When I was in high school, all I thought about was getting through to the finish line and graduating. I wasn’t like my friends. I never had a relationship. I didn’t really like anyone in high school, at least not in that way. Honestly, I saw no point to dating in high school.
Sadly now I feel like I missed out on even a chance at a first love.
Am I too afraid? I dont think I’m willing to let someone put down all these barriers I have worked so hard to mmake for myself.
I think the biggest barrier is that I am so independent. I may not live lavishly, but I like to think I live comfortably within my means. I am a workaholic, that actually loves having a place go to. I depend on no one buying me things, I buy them myself when I feel comfortable and ready. However, I feel that it’s because I don’t want to feel like I owe anyone anything. I get that isnt the point in any relationship, but to me, it would feel like I would owe anyone. I don’t expect someone to spoil me with material things, I think the only thing I would want is to be able to give them time and for them to give me the same back.
I just want someone to talk to, have late night conversations, someone to hear all these inner thoughts of mine.
All the dramas I watch paint such unrealistic expectations on how things really are. As much as we dream, not all of us are lucky enough to get those story book happily ever afters in life.
Like Monsta X song someone’s someone. I know my someone is out there.
Wherever he is and wherever we meet. I do hope its soon. I am slow and unaware when it comes to these things. I am super inexperienced, so please be patient with me.
I hope to meet you soon.