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0Based on the title of this fic, it isn’t about date rape.
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The year is 1996.
And it’s debatable whether or not if the WWF’s Attitude Era, which would save the company from going out of business and putting WCW out of business, has started or not.
But one thing’s for sure is that a future professional wrestling icon known as Triple H is just known as Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and instead of him being known as a badass ass kicker like he’d be known for in the future, he’s currently a classy, stuckup, 1800’s blueblood gentleman.
And you work as his valet, dressed in a long, elegant evening gown and black silky gloves that ended at the elbow, looking like Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” almost.
Just before Hunter was about to wrestle someone, he was speaking with an old man with white hair dressed in a tuxedo holding a microphone, you were snuggled up next to Hunter, laying your head on his shoulder and one hand was placed on his chest, whereas his left arm was wrapped around your waist while his other hand was holding a small glass of cider.
You were smiling vigorously looking up at him, and how could you not? He’s absolutely gorgeous.
The old man took notice of you smiling at him, looking amorous at him.
“My, your woman seems awfully happy, doesn’t she?” the man asked, holding the microphone below his mouth, only for him to move the microphone to under Hunter’s mouth after he said this.
“Why, yes she is” Hunter replied, sounding suave and smooth. “She just had my hot Dickens cider”.
While he admitted something scandalous and shocking, he was looking down at the cider glass he was holding, where he made his hand run around in a circle still holding that glass.
“Your-your what?!” the man asked, his eyes growing wide and shocked when Hunter confessed this.
Jerry Lawler had the same reaction to this old man on commentary, going nuts with his obnoxious voice.
Some people who were in the audience watching this promo were absolutely shocked, many of the adult’s eyes had grown wide and jaws dropped, gasps from adults and parents were released from mouths, some teenagers who got this were snickering, whereas some prepubescent kids didn’t know what this innuendo meant. They just thought he was talking about cider.
Beavis and Butthead would have a field day with this promo.
“My hot Dickens cider” Hunter replied.
“Your hot Dickens cider?” the man asked.
Hot Dickens Cider= Hot Dick Inside Her.
This sexual innuendo would end up being a predecessor to the same innuendo D Generation X and Val Venis would say during the Attitude Era just a few years later.
“She loves my Hot Dickens cider and can’t get enough of it” Hunter said. “She has my hot Dickens cider 3 times a day, once she was so thirsty, she had it 12 times a day”.
Get the double entendre with him saying “thirsty”?
He was saying “thirsty” way before it was cool.
“Isn’t Hunter supposed to be a gentleman?” Jerry Lawler cried out in that obnoxious voice, although that’s something you agree with, but y'know what they say…a gentleman in the streets, a freak in the sheets.
“My hot Dickens cider is a wonderful stress reliever” Hunter boasted.
“Indeed it is, it’s really good for the throat muscles” you said, your head looking at the man holding the microphone “I can still feel the hot liquid cleanse, engulf and travel through my throat”.
Yeah, this isn’t so subtle, is it?
“I know I want my Dickens Cider!” Jerry cried out.
Of course Jerry has to blurt that out.
“Though, I’ve worried about getting sick from it” you added.
That joke was meant to be a reference to when Rod Stewart during the 1970’s had to be rushed to the hospital to get the cum pumped out of his stomach.
“I believe every woman should have my hot Dickens cider” Hunter said. “Although, men can have it too. I always feel better after I have my Dickens cider”.
“Hey, shouldn’t you be cutting a promo?” the old man asked, trying to change the conversation.
And indeed, Hunter should be cutting a promo instead of saying some corny, blatant sexual innuendo.
Before Val Venis, there was Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
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#michael #1996 DIR #noraephron CASt #johntravolta #williamhurt #andiemacdowell #robertpastorelli #drama #comedy #fantasy #movie DP #johnlindley (à Iowa)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B8te0DdoWxx/?igshid=19je2sd9orn191
Nathan Westling
- Gender: Transgender man
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Sexuality: N/A
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DOB: 1 June 1996
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Ethnicity: White
- Occupation: Model
124I try to make everyone happy but what about myself
am I so hard to tolerate
am I so bad at love
is it the way I smile
is it my nervous voice
am I being too much of a burden
am I still not enough
I try to make everyone happy
so don’t you want to heal my heart
don’t you want to be an exception
don’t you want to stay
0
Daily Listening, Day #47 - February 16th, 2020
Album: Live At Roseland Ballroom (Foundation, 1996)
Artist: Gov’t Mule
Genre: Blues Rock, Jam Band
Track Listing:
- “Trane”
- “Temporary Saint”
- “Painted Silver Light”
- “Don’t Step On The Grass Sam”
- “Kind Of Bird”
- “Mule”
Favorite Song:
0- “Trane”
