It's funny cuz if I see a pic of Ryan Guzman I'm like 🤷♀️. but if I see Eddie Diaz? I'm like there he is, my love, my dream, the most beautiful man in the world, breathtaking, take my hand take my whole life too etc.
This is probably littered with mistakes but I had an idea. Rewatching 3x06, I noticed Tara had printed out multiple news articles about Maddie's abduction. This is my take on her reaction when she found that out she was a news story the first time. Set between 2x13 and 2x14:
Maddie stared out her window, down the paved walkway, towards the gate of her apartment compound. She startled as Buck walked up next to her.
"You ready?" He asked as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She took a deep breath. "Let's get this over with."
He led her to the front door, and they went outside. It was her first time stepping onto the door mat since she came home from the hospital a week ago. She hadn't been able to bear to leave and building before today. All she saw when she looked outside was Chimney, lying in a pool of his own blood, as it slowly seeped into the brick. Buck told her Bobby and Athena spent hours out there trying to get it out, but it was still faintly there. Or maybe she just couldn't unsee it.
Either way, it didnt make her want to leave. Not yet anyway. But her therapist urged her to. You can't live inside Maddie. You're free, for the first time in sixteen years. It's time you start living. So here she was, going outside, but only because she had her brother there. Her brother who would always protect her. Her brother who found her, before she could bleed out into the snow, and had basically been glued to her since she came home.
Buck pulled her in closer as they walked past the spot, and Maddie averted her eyes, trying her hardest to not see her sweet Howie lying there, bouquet of flowers in hand. Buck reached out and unlatched the gate, holding it open for her. She stepped through, with Buck quick to follow. And that's when she immediately regretted her decision to listen to her therapist.
"Maddie!" She froze, staring at the ground. She felt Buck's arms wrap around her. He had found her. That had to be it. He was dead. He was on the other side of country, in Hershey City Cemetery by now.
"Maddie, do you have any comment on your recent abduction experience?" She froze, realizing exactly who this man be. A reporter. They know. They were waiting. For her.
"Get out of here. Who gave you the right to lurk out here?" Buck started yelling back at the man, as Maddie tried to folder herself into Buck's chest, hiding her still slightly bruised face. She was just trying to walk around the block. Just one block. She felt as though she couldn't move though, as her breaths became harder to take, and they began to burn as she inhaled. If Buck wasn't holding her up right now, she felt as though she surely would have collapsed into the fetal position on the side walk.
"I'm with Channel-"
"I don't give a fuck what channel you're with. Get the hell out of here before I call the cops!" Maddie could feel the anger vibrating through Buck as she curled into his chest, gripping onto the lapels of his jacket. She heard a car door slam, and an engine start. She immediately felt Buck's hand combing through her hair as he wrapped his other arm tight around her. "It's okay, it's okay, he's gone. You're safe."
Take- me- back in" she sobbed as she leant against him. He guided her back through the gate. Neither of them had even made it far enough for the gate to shut behind them properly. As soon as it shut again and the world was stick on the other side, Buck picked her up, and carried her up the path to her apartment, Maddie far too lost in her panic to stumble back up herself.
Once inside, Buck sat them down on the couch, Maddie on his lap, still sobbing into his shirt. "Evan?" She said tentatively once she felt as she could breathe somewhat normally. "Yeah?" He replied.
"Do people know?" She asked, as she pulled back to look him in the eyes. She needed to know if he was lying and he had always been terrible at making his face when he did, especially her.
Buck let out a big sigh and rubbed his face with his free hand. "It's been picked up by most local news outlets, because of the statewide abduction alert. There's a few online stories, but they don't know much, since no one has spoken to them."
"I'm not- I can't- I dont-" Maddie felt her breathing begin to shallow out again at the thought of people reading about her, and Doug. Her secret that she had tried to hide for so many years was just out there, for people to read as they drank their morning coffee, and for people to judge. They couldn't know, they would never know what it was like for her. She looked back at Buck, trying to calm herself before she could hyperventilate again. He was avoiding her eye contact. She narrowed her gaze and she dropped her head to make eye contact with him. "What are you not telling me?"
"Dateline called" Maddie stood up and immediately regretted it, the motion pulling at her stitched still embedded in her abdomen and leg. Back scrambled up to meet her, putting his hands on her shoulders before he continued. "Athena was with me though when I got the call and she grabbed the phone and told the producer that if they ran the story they would have no cooperation from the LAPD. They haven't called back." Maddie nodded, biting her lip as she willed more tears not to fall. God, national TV, that was all she needed. A permanent public reminder of Doug lurking the reruns for years to come.
Thank you Buck, for telling me." She shrugged off his hands and made her way to the stairs. "Look my stomach is really sore, we can try to go round the block tomorrow?" she asked as she made her way up the stairs, not even looking back for his response, having had enough of the world even though it was only 2pm.
Buck watched her retreating figure. Two steps forward today, and one giant leap back, he thought.
september 20th can’t be here fast enough! i’m starving!
buddie love confession at the end of a domestic buckley-diaz family scene pls
Just imagine all the videos that Aisha has and she hasn't even post em lol.
Thinking about how i litterally spent 5 minutes talking about 9-1-1 in therapy and how it's my longest tv show hyperfixation. Istg I would say I need to touch grass but im allergic to grass.
got a little bored so i wrote out a little buddie drabble ft. some domestic fluff
where sunlight and serenity meet
paring: buck x eddie
word count: 1,089
Never in his entire life would Eddie have thought of himself to be a morning person. To be fair, it’s not that he hates them. Eddie can tolerate mornings. His routine has always been rather dependent on waking up early, between morning school drop-offs and his army days, so he thinks he should be used to them by now. Despite it, though, Eddie has yet to grow a fondness for his 6am alarm. He’s not sure he ever will.
But God, mornings like these really made Eddie reconsider hating waking up early altogether. To stir awake to the soft sunlight peeking through the blinds, encased in the arms of his lover, Eddie is convinced there’s nothing on this earth quite like it. Something about it offers a kind of tranquility that brings no rush to begin the rest of his day. A stillness that says, ‘Here. Stay like this a little while longer’. And on mornings like these, when he’s the first to rise awake, wrapped in the secure blanket of Buck’s arms, he decides to indulge that voice.
He’s been awake for about a minute now. Eddie can already feel the slumber slowly beginning to pour its way out from his body, replacing itself with an alertness he’s not all too ready to feel just yet, so for just a little while longer, he keeps his eyes shut and revels in the undisturbed silence. He takes in the gentle warmness that coats his shoulders and back, the grounding weight of Buck’s arm wrapped around him, even the small huffs of breath that hits the back of Eddie’s neck with every exhale. He basks in it all, enjoying the moment.
Eddie feels the arm around his waist shift slightly, followed by a faint groan and a momentary loss in the space right behind his neck. He almost turns over his shoulder, curious of the sudden withdrawal, but stops when he senses the slight brush of skin along his face. Eddie can’t help but smile when he feels a soft kiss press up onto his cheek, an unspoken greeting of sorts as Buck nuzzles a little further against him.
“G’morning,” Buck hums, his voice quiet and groggy.
Buck shifts again and sighs, “We have to be up pretty soon.” Ah yes, the gentle reminder of the world beyond the comfort of his own bed. Eddie peaks open an eye long enough to glance over to the clock on his nightstand.
He presses his head farther into his pillows as a small part of him longs for his slumber to come back to him, “Five more minutes?” Behind him, Eddie hears Buck laugh and then murmur something that sounds a bit like his name, but the clarity gets lost somewhere between the early morning exhaustion and the tufts of Eddie’s hair as Buck buries his nose there, “Please?”
Any resolve Buck might’ve had before quickly dissipates as he rests his head back into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder, “M’kay, fine,” Buck mutters, a hint of a smile tugging at the edge of his words, “you drive a very hard bargain.”
Eddie chuckles to himself tiredly, leaning back against Buck’s chest, “What can I say? It’s a good deal.”
“Can’t argue with you there.” Buck presses his lips to the space behind his ear, and it sends a slight ripple of goosebumps down Eddie’s back. He follows the curve of his jaw, placing small chaste kisses anywhere he can, only stopping once he reaches Eddie’s lips. The angle is admittedly a little off, so he's only able to reach the corner of his smile, and well, who is Eddie to deny his boyfriend a proper kiss? (He is only human, after all.)
He rolls over onto his back and blindly leans up to find a pair of gentle lips against his own. This kiss itself is slow and maybe a little messy, but like with every kiss they have shared, Eddie feels the same familiar warmth of admiration unfurl in his chest. He feels that same warmth travel up and across his face, no doubt leaving his face carded in a mild blush.
A couple of moments pass, they both pull away, and Eddie finally opens his eyes and basks in the beautiful sight that hovers above him.
Falling in love with Buck hadn’t really been instigated by a single moment. It was more like a collection of points in time, with every laugh and every smile. With every action that spoke magnitudes of love that words will never be able to transcribe, between the chaos and irregularity of their jobs to the quiet gazes in their shared kitchen. No, falling in love with Buck feels more like a journey, an amalgamation of memories and moments that have etched themselves inside the walls of Eddie’s heart. Every single instance special in their own way, ones that made Eddie pause and think, ‘God, I love you.’
And now was one of those moments.
The way the golden sunlight kisses the edges of Buck’s skin, wrapping around his jaw and catching the blue hue in his iris’. How his hair sits messy and partially curled due to the lack of product. Eddie traces a gentle finger down the side of Buck’s temple, taking it all in. Committing every inch of Buck’s face to memory.
“I love you,” Eddie says as he locks eyes with Buck, a quiet utterance offering to fill the short gap in between them. They’ve said the words to each other before, but somehow in the shared intimacy of the morning, it feels much more personal in a way.
Buck beams, his smile shining in a way that the sun itself could not compare. “I love you too.”
Eddie can’t help but pull Buck in for another kiss, and Buck is more than eager to meet him in the middle, his delicate lips brushing up against Eddie’s with ease. An all-familiar fondness rolls back from the edges surrounding them both in a serene comfort that they’ve created for themselves.
Eventually, they draw away from their kiss and wordlessly rest their foreheads against one another’s. It’s enough to feel as if the world has seemingly stopped in its tracks. They both know that they have a full day of work ahead that lies for them on the other side of their bedroom door, but in the meantime, it’s just them. No alarms, no emergencies, just each other.
And to Eddie, it’s a perfect way to start his day.
anyway something to consider as you are circling back to write another post - lawsuit specific fic ---- as it is the one thing the fandom will reliably fall back on ---- and that is how the fandom is generally very good at acknowledging one character’s trauma to the detriment of other existing traumas.
first and foremost being that these are all emergency responders, and as such are all probably suffering from moral injury in conjunction with their PTSD --- few first responders escape without one or the other, and often both. first responders don’t get adequate time or resources to recover from one individual trauma, let alone each and every that they have to deal with, and they have to deal with a lot, and to little resolution. it’s a lot for anyone’s emotional bucket to hold. what’s more ( and more important in this context ) than that, the other members of the 118 each have their own trauma to contend with, unrelated to the job, that plays into this situation specifically: Bobby, with the deaths of his family; Hen, who was abandoned by her father & who has mentioned difficulties in being raised by a single mother; Chim, who was abandoned by his father & who watched his mother die of cancer, as well as the loss of Kevin; Eddie, who has an emotionally complicated relationship with his own parents & an estranged wife he watched die.
the point: they’ve all got their own compounded traumas, and specifically all have issues revolving around family & abandonment, and that lends to decisions regarding behavior around those they consider family and situations they might consider abandonment. there’s not an inherently proper way to respond to these circumstances. ( also, this idea that the team just abandoned Buck to his recovery isn’t necessarily true, it’s got more to do with what they’ve chosen to show us on screen, and the reality of that is they focused on Eddie visiting Buck as a lead in to the tsunami arc as well as to affirm the intimacy of their friendship rather than, i think, a deliberate point at making the rest of the team seem like they don’t give a shit. )
it also needs to be taken into consideration that in the episodes themselves, the team doesn’t just abandon or decide to take out their problems on Buck, despite the way it’s often portrayed by fandom. Hen reaches out to Buck of her own accord, and Chim makes jabs at Bobby for the way he’s handling his feelings regarding Buck’s accident & resultant complications. as for Eddie, he’s not reaching out specifically because of the lawsuit --- he was told that he couldn’t, and so he doesn’t even though it’s implied he wanted to, and this is on top of all of the compounded trauma in his personal life that he isn’t properly dealing with ( which is another thing entirely, and we all collectively know he’s not appropriately dealing with it but that really isn’t anyone but Eddie’s fault at any point, either. ) Bobby himself is reacting because he’s still trying to parse out his own guilt, both for the ladder truck bombing specifically, but also at his issues with the loss of his wife & kids, to which he also still feels responsible. it’s not often considered his perspective of fear of losing someone else he was supposed to protect --- and while i will tend to agree it was something of an overreach, and it’s something that would have been solved with real actual communication, something these people tend to lack in earnest, it doesn’t make it less of a trauma fueled reaction, same as Buck’s, but he’s given less leeway for it because it’s not considered a favorable trauma response ( and it’s not considered favorable because it doesn’t work in favor of the fandom’s favorite, to be frank. ) never at any point is it implied that any of these people are harassing Buck after he comes back, or ignoring him out of malice, and frankly, anyone outside of the immediate group that we recognize as the core 118 kind of has a right to be distant with the man that they don’t necessarily know on an intimate level anyway, especially after he just sued the department and they have no context for the situation.
and it’s not that Buck’s trauma doesn’t absolutely take a part in his decision to file the lawsuit, because it’s very much that response driving his impulsive decision, but it’s often enough not taken into consideration how everyone else’s trauma plays into their response to his filing. a majority of the time, these fics tend to be from the perspective of feeling bad for Buck and demonizing the team, when realistically the perspective needs to be somewhere in the middle because it’s not a clean cut situation. the fandom hyper - sympathizes with ( read: tends to woobify ) Buck without taking into consideration that he is an unreliable narrator inherently, and that just because he feels a certain way doesn’t make it the reality of the situation.
like I know I’ve said I want S5 to be much less Buck-centric and I stand by that but if there’s not an episode where Buck babysits Jee Yun I will be waiting outside of Tim Minear’s house with a cease and desist
Honestly fuck the firefam and potential buddie content
I’m hyped for season 5 bc I miss Christopher Diaz
do you ever just watch your favorite show and sit there like this the entire time bc the plot is wild and all the characters made poor and questionable decisions
My Favs <3 💗! I stan forever.
Pls I love the way he was looking at him.
Firefighter Evan Buckley 💗.
I made this for funsies and bc Eddie is cute