“people empty me, I have to get away to refill”
- Charles Bukowski
These could be my last living hours and nobody would care because in this world, I don’t exist. I’m only alive when someone needs me for something, so let me be dead- nobody will need me again. So let me be dead and I will live on as a wish, a wish that will never come true because the star you are wishing on has already died.
But the truth is,
I just stopped feeling.
Some stuff In the warmest of Texas colors
Somerimes i wanna be alone……
“There comes a point where you just go,
Ultimately, I don’t give a f*ck anymore.”
-Helena Bonham Carter
It is not a phase, it is my whole life that is messed up😔
Day 1 by myself while mom is on vacation for her birthday (I had to work)
1) I finished my test (97% 🤷🏻♀️)
2) Cleaned my beta fish bowl
3) Got into a verbal argument with my HR at work (*cough* he was in the wrong *cough* boss going against policy *cough*)
4) Proceeded to text my mother about every slight inconvenience at work because…. because.
5) Spilled my expensive glass of wine
6) Annoying dog I stayed home with dug into my trash as I was cleaning up wine
7) Dropped my cabbage soup
8) Refilled wine and cabbage
9) Binge watch Bob’s Burgers 🍔
I can’t wait for my mom to come home
I want to go out… I don’t have much to do, I just watch and watch and watch… When the world is finally healed, I’d like to visit a bookstore, museums, and/or maybe just go for a road trip. It’ll be fun… :)
It’s the little things no one can take from you. Not now, not ever.
Y si , pensé en eso, en eso, de acabar con mi vida, pero soy tan cobarde que, ni con eso pude……