Oh good, it’s spring cold time. I’ve been feeling icky for the last two days and the kid had a horrible night’s sleep and woke up with an ever-so-slight fever. I told him to go back to sleep and I’m calling him out of school today.
Reason #8394949277 b and I are meant to be together.
Me in the shower loudly “free styling” depression song: iiiiiii hate eeEeeeAAveryyYYyyYyythiiiiiIiINnnngGgg 🎶
b from the other room: meEeeEeeeEe tOooOoooOoo 🎶
There’s always one bad season in every tv series and season six of Gilmore Girls is just the worst...
April has been a really hard month for me. It sometimes feels like it just gets worse and worse.
The month started with my manager talking shit about my coworker/former roommate/"friend." I told my coworker what the manager had said and he decided to quit. The next day I got a text from my manager saying that since the coworker quit the manager was going to close the store down permanently, so I was without a job. That night I was told that my final check would be at the store the next morning and I could come get it and leave my key. I did so the next morning and along with the check there was a note that blamed me for the store closing and was condescending and mean. I texted the coworker and we chatted a bit about the horrible boss and the coworker said he would write the boss a letter when he got his in the mail. That was the last I heard from that coworker/former roommate/"friend" (he kept claiming we were friends, but clearly we aren't really) and its been 3 weeks and I have sent a few texts since to try to talk. No response.
April 12th I went to the kitchen for water and came back to my room and as I was climbing back onto the bed I heart a cracking pop noise beneath my hand that was on my comforter. I pulled back the blanket to see my glasses, that I didn't even realize were on the bed, broken in half.
April 14th I was in bed and my phone slid off the comforter and onto the floor, a 1.5 foot drop, and the screen shattered into a million pieces.
Two days ago my roommate texted me asking if I would have the rent due in a week. I thought this was an inappropriate question and said I wasn't sure. She then said that if I couldn't I would have a week to get it and then I would have to look for a new place to live. I told her that if it came to that the landlord would have to go through the process to evict me because I have rights as a tenant. That night I came home to her waiting for me. She told me that since I apparently pay her for the rent (this was never discussed and I was told me giving her the money was just so she could pay the landlord all of it at once) SHE is my landlord and since she's apparently "in charge" I have til May 30th to get out. So now I am being evicted. Then yesterday she came home from work and had a door installed in between the kitchen and the common room (couch/TV living room) with a lock, for "privacy." So I have now been locked out of half the apartment I pay for (and April is paid for, so this move of her's is premature and probably illegal) and she said moving forward if I want to talk to her I can talk to her attorney (who supposedly "will be in contact" with me today). So now I have to spend part of my day today getting a lawyer to defend me. My roommate also called me a "bitch" in spanish right outside my door because she thinks I wouldn't understand what she was saying.
Oh, and I am down to $5 to my name and have to go sell things today to have spare money just to eat/survive. I am also looking for jobs but so far none of the places I have applied to have contacted me.
For those of you keeping track, I lost my job, lost my "friend," broke my glasses and phone, and am now losing my apartment and have already lost one of the rooms I have been paying for.
Yeah, so April sucks.
If anyone is able to help me out at all, you can send money to PayPal.me/HaleyStar or just reblog this post. Thank you. I just want to be able to eat and get back on my feet.
Fuck. It’s only the first day in April and I already feel like a truck hit me. I hate seasonal bullshit.
How do we reckon with hardening?
When spring lands, it uncases us
peeling off our winter lessons
no longer needed
to keep us alive.
The case hides us
from the soft glow of Life
until April crashes onto our soil--
Cracking us open
so our gaping hearts heal
and we churn the raw earth
once again
into Life
When old pics show up unexpectedly and trigger a panic attack...
When old pics show up unexpectedly and trigger a panic attack...
my heart broke when i saw this notification. i love jeffrey marsh and their positivity, but this isn't positivity. it's supporting eugenics and ableism.
Fuck him for making me feel so weak. These constant thoughts and breakdowns have got to stop but I fear that they’re going to get worse and worse as the time approaches. Sometimes (like tonight) its not even a trigger I just work myself into a complete mess on the ground. I’m so incredibly thankful I have wonderful friends because I was in such a bad place a year ago and barely had people to talk to, and this year I have strong connections with people who care and I love them dearly. I just cant shake the thought that I’m also a burden on them for breaking down so often...
Seriously though I need to get off this site and get to work I have to get through Romanticism and I'm only on Dutch Baroque
I've resurrected the queue-bot to do some posts while I get my head straight during these dark times.
sit back, like way , waaaay hella back.
and enjoy the new taglist posts.
I have even less of an idea of whats going to happen than you do.
isn't this more fun?!
