I've been reading the dysphoria bible and I just realized something.
I didn't start out with dysphoria, I felt fine as a girl but I knew something was definitely off. I never actually realized it until I tried out new pronouns and names and stuff and I was happy with it so I was experiencing gender euphoria which eventually manifested into dysphoria. basically it went like
"Hm he/him pronouns r kinda cool"
Which eventually led to
"Well now I hate she/her pronouns and it's not right"
I would like to think that this is the biggest reason I want to look mostly androgynous but still masculine ENOUGH to pass as a boy.
I never realized ANY of this until now.
All I knew is how I wanted to look but not the reason why.