The female villains in my story... Affectionately known as gatekeep, gaslight, and girlboss.
for my own clarity this is just a little note about my s3 canon divergence for olivia to me 2 followers who know who she is
let me start by saying i have nothing against the way this is written or the way the story has evolved — i actually do think it makes so much sense and is a natural progression to both characters’ plots and i think it’s very sweet + obviously valid to ship —- i just personally have some issues with the s.pencer romance for my own portrayal.
i really do not vibe with them romantically because over the past few years that i’ve developed her, i’ve mostly written her views about s.pencer as familial + brotherly, because that’s how i perceived it, especially with taking my portrayals of j.ordan + l.aura into account, i’ve just always really liked him as part of the family as a son and as a brother to both of them. and through my portrayal, olivia has always treated him / talked about him as a brother figure and while i do understand the current narrative and i do understand why it makes sense for them to be in love, i’m just not sure that i’m personally interested in including that aspect into my portrayal??? i might think differently of this later because, in general, i hate the idea of olivia even dabbling in some sort of romance given her current state, but right now it’s just really stressing m out to have this hanging over her head when i write her.
but also at the same time, i do think olivia lacked a lot of accountability for her actions for a long time when it comes to being with s.pencer / lying to a.sher / keeping things from l.ayla and i am not forgetting that by taking her feelings for him out of my portrayal because i think it’s very important that what happened in las vegas happened + the downfall of everything that followed still happened. but the thing is, olivia would have responded the same way even if she didn’t return those feelings for him, which is where i’m at.
she’s an avoider; she’s a genuine person and wants the best for everyone but when she knows that she can’t help give them the best or that she could make things worse for people, she tends to avoid it entirely. she doesn’t want to burden people. she doesn’t want to bring them down. she doesn’t want to hurt them in any way, and obviously, that often tends to build up the pain and make it worse later on than it would have been if she just confronted those things head on to begin with ( and this happens with everyone. it happened when s.pencer, with l.ayla, with a.sher, with her entire family, etc. )
obviously this is way bigger than just s.pencer and she was going through a lot of other crap over the summer so there are so many elements that go into this, but —- she hid something from l.ayla, again, something very similar to what already destroyed their friendship once before, after all the back and forth they’ve gone through in their friendship and after spending the summer telling her and s.pencer both that they belonged together. she lied to a.sher repeatedly, and even though he isn’t 100% innocent from his standpoint either, he repeatedly tried to be open with her about the summer and she refused to talk about it at all, not only lying to him but also actively shutting him out and not giving him the chance to talk about a summer that was obviously important to his own personal growth ( which was very out of the norm for olivia, who has been pushing him to find himself again all this time and would have normally been very enthusiastic to hear all about his summer if she didn’t try to avoid it for her own guilt instead. )
i think that even if everything was the same in vegas aside from liv reciprocating those feelings, she still would have responded the same way afterwards. she still would have wanted to keep it buried for the sake of not hurting anyone because even if she didn’t return those feelings, that was going to hurt those three people. and her. because these are her 3 closest friends and the people she loves most outside of her family and now here she is at the center of everything causing them pain so she just wants to shove it to the back of her mind and ignore it, which obviously, wouldn’t work anyway. she still would have kept it from l.ayla, justifying it to herself because it’s not her story to tell even though that’s not fair; she still would have lied about it to a.sher especially after seeing what she saw because it was a way to keep pretending that everything was fine and that they had no problems because if she admitted they had problems then she’d have to lose even more. she still would have avoided s.pencer because she doesn’t know how to face him when things change and when he poured his heart out and she knows he deserves the best love in the world and she’s incapable of giving him that. she still wouldn’t have handled the situation well regardless and i think the way everything kind of spiraled out of her hands between summer + the reveals is very important to her current state of mind and i don’t want to deny that just because i don’t like the relationship romantically --- because it’s very very her to continue to avoid something even if there’s nothing there. she did it with a.sher, too. she didn’t have feelings for him when they first hooked up, but she knew how it looked and what it meant, and especially having been there before, she wouldn’t know how to deal with it again.
and aside from not vibing with them romantically, i also think it’s extremely important for olivia to not be romantically involved with anyone right now ( and for that i do heavily appreciate the current pace of this relationship’s progression because they aren’t forcing them together when both of them are clearly not in the place for that. ) she is not in the place for a relationship; more than ever, she needs to focus on herself. she’s always been adamant about wanting to focus on herself and not rush herself into relationships before she’s ready, but she did do that recently and she kept getting stuck in this same place of “not being ready but wanting to be ready and forcing herself to be ready because she thinks she should be ready.” though i do think her love for a.sher was genuine, i think she put a lot of pressure on herself to “fix” things between them prematurely before the summer began so that she could have one thing in her life that felt okay, and forcing herself to be ready too soon is the cause for a lot of the issues she dealt with over the summer. when she broke up with a.sher before summer, it was less about him and more about herself and realizing that she was starting to spiral and that she didn’t want to make a bigger mess of things, but getting back together with him was like putting a bandaid over all the things that happened and convincing herself it was going to heal her and it.. did not. it just made things more messy.
anyway i know this is relevant to only two people i actually write with in her canon ( and lex and i have this rant literally everyday so it’s fine ) but i’m mostly posting this to get my own head straight about it. there are certain dynamics like olivia & l.ayla i’m open to following something more canon compliant because that’s obviously an important dynamic to explore especially right now but… it just won’t be my default unless someone wants to go there!! i’m also not opposed to ever writing romantic s.pencer, it’s just not going to be my default. okay thanks
Wotd Day 6 - Beach (Plaža)
Stvarno mi nedostaje plaža. Prošlo leto je bilo jako čudno jer nismo imali mnogo toplan vetar, tako da nismo mogli da idemo na plažu.
Kad sam bila mala, mrzela sam plažu jer plašila sam se (nisam se plašila plivanja, nego drifting out to sea??, i talasi u Australiji su neobuzdi) i pesak oseća neudobno.
Ali sada sviđa mi se plaža. Nema bolji osećaj nego idemo na plažu leti sa prijateljima, skakamo u talasima, onda lažemo na pesku, slušamo muziku i jedemo ribu i pomfrit.
U Evropi su plaže loši. More je ravno. Zbog toga ne bih volela da živim u Evropi. U Evropi ima mnogo prelepu prirodu ali nema lepe plaže. Po mom mišlenju su plaže najbolja osobina Australije. Naše plaže su najbolje na svetu.
I really miss the beach. Last summer was really strange because we didn’t have much hot weather, so we couldn’t go to the beach.
When I was little, I hated the beach because I was afraid (I wasn’t afraid of swimming, but rather, drifting out to sea, and the waves in Australia are wild) and the sand felt uncomfortable.
But now I love the beach. There is no better feeling than going to the beach in summer with your friends, jumping in the waves, then lying on the sand, listening to music and eating fish and chips.
In Europe the beaches are bad. The water is flat. For this reason I wouldn’t want to live in Europe. Europe has a lot of beautiful nature but it doesn’t have nice beaches. In my opinion, beaches are the best feature of Australia. Our beaches are the best in the world.
#FixTheCountry: “Humble yourself and fix the country now” – Bernard Avle sends 4 valuable pieces of advice to the government [Video]
Ghanaian journalist, Bernard Avle has urged the government to forego all the shenanigans and start working to fix the country now. In the wake of the social media campaign where Ghanaians are crying over hardship in the country, Bernard Avle believes the government needs to the concerns of the people seriously. Hosting an editorial on the Point Of View show on Citi TV last night, Bernard Avle was…
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Listen I may be punk but... Summ bout miss Minaj....
|| The inbox will be closed during a while. Sorry, but I really need a break this time, hope y'all can understand!
Roland’s Food Court with Gennaro Pecchia; we talk to Blake Shelton about everything Ole Red, we are then joined by Executive Chef of Ole Red Nashville Garrett Pittler to talk more about the great Ole Red restaurant and menu, then Thom Elliot from the Pizza Pilgrims joins us to talk about his new book, “Pizza: History, Recipes, Stories, People, Places, Love.”
"Jackson Feat. @Orville Peck " Behind the Scenes
Samantha Lux really out here doing The Most for her youtube community and being an educated queen; whilst my politically-crazed mother can’t even bother to fact-check anything she reads, yet claims to be an expert on all things Controversial™
Archived webpage for Fox Family's (now Free Form) "Made In Japan" animated block that featured Mega Man, Monster Rancher and Digimon
Later runs added Flint the Time Detective and Donkey Kong Country.
a relatively well-done as a movie yet ridiculously atrocious and straightforward piece of russian copaganda has recently been released on netflix and i dread the day i have to endure endless increasingly shitty western takes on that movie as i already have headaches after reading similarly Bad russian takes on the subject