Ohhh, siblings always pick on each other.
CAN WE STOP NORMALIZING THIS?!
My half brother, whom I barely knew as a child (lived with his father), used to terrorize me and my parents just brushed it off as 'just picking on' me.
He would lock me in closets. This caused me to develop claustrophobia.
Hold me upside down by my ankles when I did not even want to be touched by him. This caused migraines lasting the rest of the day, usually resulting in puking by nighttime.
Used to play pranks on my parents then blame them on me, and they believed him. This caused one of my deepest fears of not being believed.
One day, he found my diary (I was like 7, so he was about 15), and read it. When he saw me, he mocked me about it, opening it and reading form it loudly. It humiliated me and broke my trust, invaded my privacy, and caused me, a fucking 7 year old, to have a full on emotional breakdown. Hysterically sobbing, I ran to my room and locked my door. He told me he had the key (usually kept on top of the door jamb of my parent's bedroom door) and was coming in to make fun of me again. I pushed my toy chest (a big fucker) against the door and no one could get in, not even my dad who tried to push in later. I stayed in there for hours despite his bullshit half assed apology my mother made him give me.
To this day, I have reoccurring nightmares of my family not listening to me, and no matter what I say or how loud I scream, they won't listen. I'll try and run to my room and close the door just for some peace, but the door won't latch. They constantly barge in, and I scream at them, kick and push them out, and try to barricade myself in. It never works. I'm stuck in this loop of them not listening to my shrieking pleas for them to leave me alone and am often woken up by my real feet kicking in the air. My boyfriend says I'll be doing it for about an hour before I wake up. I call these 'screaming dreams' and I always wake up mentally and emotionally exhausted. My boyfriend knows when I tell him I had a screaming dream last night I'll be down all day.
My parent's response to this harassment was almost none.
Mother would always half heartedly tell him to stop and he never would.
Father will tell me to just stop reacting. 'They only do it for a reaction. If you stop reacting, they will stop.' (Sometimes my sister would join my brother in teasing me.)
HOW ABOUT YOU TELL THEM TO STOP FUCKING BULLYING ME.
When I grew up I told my dad that recently my sister had been making fun of me a lot. I have no fucking idea why I confided in him, it was just conversation. He said something along the lines of 'Siblings always pick on each other. I pick on (his brother).' Sometimes his brother does something not so smart.
I said 'But there is a difference between poking fun and putting your sister down.' He grumbled something and didn't respond.
I guess people think abuse is supposed to happen?
It did not make me stronger.
It did not toughen me up.
It did not mature me.
It hurt me.
It scarred me.
If anything it has made me weaker on so many levels.
I can't trust.
I can't move on.
I can barely god damn function.
And 20 years later it's still raw on my heart.
