i sincerely want to give up on college
i sincerely want to give up on college
I love when I'm watching something or playing a game and the music sounds familiar and I look it up and find that oh shit it's YOU! I know you!
Like, hello old friend.
I’m never doing drugs ever again I stg. Last night was horrible to watch
YES CAM! LET'S FUCKING GO! YEAHHHHHHH!
ETHO AND GEM INTERACTIONS????
Glad that escaping expulsion is finally out so I can now safely ask, was anyone else expecting gus' voice to drop that low like holy shit. Had time really moved that fast between recording S1 and S2???
its nagito kinnie time
watched seven episodes of teen titans and tried out the new 1.17 update and i can tell you both are absolutely excellent 😎 teen titans is still genuinely one of the best shows ive ever watched and the new mc update is so cool!!! I literally went mining for all of 30 seconds before i found a huge copper and iron stash and then literally ended up w full stacks in under 30 minutes like wtf /pos
TL:DR: Grievous' 4th wife at the insistence of her brother, Bentilais san Sk'ar. A very stoic & formidable warrior, she found adjusting to the role of wife difficult. After the loss of a child she gained permission to leave home & rejoin her brother's offensive in 32 BBY. Died during the Empire's reign when Thrawn nuked Sk'ar's Kaleesh colony from orbit.
This is is really long, my bad.
So when Grievous started taking wives several members of his elite militia, the Izvoshra, were insufferable pains in the ass about it. Bentilais san Sk'ar & one other in particular were like, "You're on the market? Holy shit, I am telling all of my sisters immediately." Combining families among the Izvoshra seemed like an obvious thing to do for the clout if nothing else. Sk'ar suggested his highly decorated sister Twarxii. Grievous was like, "Didn't you say that is your meanest sister?" Sk'ar was like, "Lol yeah but you are also a mean bitch." Grievous had, of course, met Twarxii before as she had run several campaigns with them & was generally considered a total badass. He relented apprehensively & agreed on the condition that she was cool with it & got along with the wives he already had at home.
Twarxii also relented apprehensively as it was what was traditionally expected of her. She was honored & Grievous, all things considered, was a catch as far as warriors go. But she was also a warrior. Domestic wife life was completely alien & intimidating to her. After a bit of a grace period Grievous married her near the end of the year (still 36 BBY). When she arrived there was already one baby, Taa'yn was very pregnant, & Jyada was probably in early pregnancy because she has no self control. The culture shift was enough to give Twarxii whiplash but the wives were very welcoming. They all knew who Sk'ar was.
Twarxii became very close with Taa'yn. Having always fought in the shadow of her huge-as-fuck bloodthirsty brother, she was very taken with Taa'yn being built like an ox, waking up every day, & not choosing violence. Taa’yn passing away really hit her hard. Being killed in battle was expected & celebrated. She had not expected death at home to be so viscerally painful nor for the emptiness to linger so steadfastly. Twarxii’s anxieties manifested in her second pregnancy. She would not admit to it, but she was scared. Because nothing good ever happens to Grievous & the Grievous adjacent, her fear was realized when she had twins, a girl & a boy. Tayuja & Jy’karn respectively. The boy did not live through birth. Needless to say, she was extremely fucked up about it. The wives had a hard time parsing out her intentions, as she had always been stoic. They kept an eye out & made sure Tayuja was taken care of.
Luckily Grievous was actually home for all this. After she continued to not take things well, he apologized for pinning her in a role that she was not built for. This gave her pause that he would apologize for doing what was expected of them & maybe insinuate she was incapable. Grievous was like, “Listen, I know the family you came from didn’t talk about their feelings but hear me out. Society? Kind of sucks sometimes. My mother was very obviously a caged pentyur (a kind of big jungle cat) & those around her suffered the consequences of her being trapped in the family. Real talk, I do not want to do that to you.” Grievous, in nearly all regards, knew how she felt & reminded her of that. There was a pause heavy with the absence of Ronderu, whom, unlike the other wives, she had actually known & had no chance to ever live up to. Ya’ll I just hurt my own feelings writing that.
The thing about loving a lot of people is that, statistically, you will have to see some of them die & Twarxii didn’t think she could handle that. Grievous says that’s fair. As far as he was concerned she had fulfilled her duties admirably. Twarxii remained for a few months settling some things, mainly her 2 remaining children, opting to leave them with the family where she knew they would be loved & taken care of. She left the compound in 32 BBY & traveled back west to command one of her brother’s brigades. Sk’ar was like, “Dude what did you do to my sister,” as she was never the same person that she had been. Grievous was like, “Either ask her yourself or I will mansplain post-partum depression to you.” Sk’ar opted to drop the subject because he resented it when Grievous explained things to him & fellas is it gay to ask your sister if she’s ok.
Twarxii remained in her brother’s regiment. She readily mobilized with him to Oben after he miraculously dragged himself out of the Jenuwaa sea following the shuttle explosion that blew up her fucking husband. She remained Sk’ar’s highest ranking bataan (leader of a brigade) on Oben until she was killed in a dramatic display of power from Grand Admiral Thrawn. Then just a Captain, Thrawn glassed the entire colonial Kaleesh population from orbit IIRC. (Bentilais san Sk’ar is an EU canon character that joined the Empire b/c he was so impressed by being nuked. He was eventually killed by the OG trilogy mystery gang when Chewbacca yeeted an entire machine gun turret at his vehicle full force. A good time on Wookiepedia.)
Goddam this is so long. Epilogue about Tayuja: She was always a very serious little girl. The wives would say she had an old soul. When she was old enough, she was taught to use a glaive that her mother had left her & named after Jy’karn. She considered the weapon to contain the soul of her lost brother. She protected to fuck out of the family. Eventually she settled on a hunt mask made from the same type of herbivore that Taa’yn’s mask was crafted from.
New hermits new hermits new hermits ne--
literally just had the MOST stressful interview of my life don’t text
hey uh...Idk if you have seen this video yet but.. I saw this and thought you would enjoy this a whole lot. Have a great day dude!
some tell me if rn jason aaron’s not it bc i’m about to start straight stanning the man
I drew albono
...I mean .. P FCKN 4
I love my cat to death but if she keep preventing me from sleeping in, we Will have to throw hands >.<
I kept getting emotional flashbacks last night to 2013/2014 aka my time. And it’s just so awful. I can just feel the horribleness of everything that happened and it’s really like I’m there.
And at the same time… there comes weirdly good memories that remind me of when things could also be easier. Like when my girlfriend and I would just stay up and watch anime to 4am in the summer and text each other all night. She kept me safe from all the bad stuff. I can’t do that anymore. Most of the time I have work and school and just… it isn’t the same. But those good memories are tainted by the trauma and something else.
I’ve lost my body even tho I was here first. All the other alters ended up taking over by the time I got to high school, and I lost being host. I suffered and then I was gone. I was actively pushed away. I know I needed a break but… none of the other alters wanted me. I know we didn’t know about DID at the time but I know that they hated this part of us aka me. And while I’m host now… it’s not the same. I don’t look like me. In middle school I was edgy and it was fun, but I never got to reach my full potential because of catholic school. High school me could have gone harder cuz of the change to public school. No matter what I do now, it’ll never be me fully. We present as Jasper- a guy who is plain and unassuming, queer looking at best. No scene hair. No makeup. No edgy clothes with spikes. No boots. And our partner tells us we can still do most of those things- and I try- but holy shit it isn’t me. I feel trapped. I wouldn’t be as upset if I didn’t have a chance of living this way prior but I did. I got to feel what it’s like. I miss it.
God the flashbacks are bad and just stir up so many fucking emotions. I’m dreading the move because I don’t know what it’ll do to me. This room I’m in holds both good and bad memories but they’re mine. I’ve been improving in therapy but I’m still stuck in the past and I’m struggling to move on. It’s hard to let go of the trauma because it’s so essential to who I am even tho it fuckinf sucks and I don’t want it. I’m so contradictory and it’s confusing.
My appearance to me matters. My experience as myself matters. I don’t have my old looks or my old best friends who remember me as me. At least online I can make some connection to myself. But god it tears me apart and I don’t know what to do.
I absolutely love Baram-sensei oh my god I'm not this smitten since Tsuda-san voiced Overhaul