18.11.2018 - 2 years ago

I’m ready to let go.

“If my fate is to disappear like this, then this is my last letter. Penned words, written then erased”

Hi , you are reading this now and I would like to welcome you and for you to know that my body is still alive , while I am so mentally dead.  BTW I am an ordinary employee , woman , daughter , niece and friend. I am a human who nearly give up every sucks things in this world.

I’ve never been so good in everything.  I’ve never been praised by my love ones. There is always a consequences for me to get those. I don’t know, ALL I ever know is that I did everything. Everything to make them amaze by me. I am so freaking tired. My life is sucks. HAHA!

Living in a broken family is not that too easy. Grown up being a bread winner isn’t that too happy. Pretending to be HAPPY is soo damn tiring. (Sigh). As long as I know , I did everything I know I can. :( 

I am so tired , I am so depress , and this depression slowly killing me.  Those nights full of despair became days, then months, and slowly years. The same despair that served as a reminder that I was alive now taunts me with life. It sounds like I’m being ungrateful HAHA. Just a whiny little bitch complaining about something so minute compared to all the other problems of the world.HAHA

But it’s really tiring and I guess I cannot make  it till the end. I want to disappear so fast  that , no one can even notice that I am missing.  I’ve been comforting only my self by listening to BTS musics. Indeed :) They become my happiness and they can make me happy even just a little amount of time. My life is full of drama, so you can’t blame me. aha!  

So if you are reading this please listen to “LET GO” by BTS ( search for english translation ) okay? :) Some of the lyrics will be my last message for you. :)

By the time you finish reading this I’ll be gone, but you’ll still be here. You’ll still have a chance to create the life you want to live. Don’t be like me. Who gave up that fast. :)

I wish you keep living okay.? 

I wish you continue this life and don’t succumb to the circumstances of it. Love and give infinitely. Experience all there is to. Chase after your dreams and wishes. Live a fulfilling life. Fighting ! 

Don’t worry, I’ll still be here- existing forever within the memories and experiences we once shared. 

“ In order to release your hand right now I gotta let you know that I need to let you go Hard to say goodbye But I can’t run I’m ready to let go “ - BTS




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